15 commandments of social media

The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow. — Bill Gates                  

When I took office, only high-energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the World Wide Web... Now even my cat has its own page. — Bill Clinton, 1996

Thanks to a tweet invitation from Sofitel Hotel’s social media person nicknamed Blessy via my Twitter account @WilsonLeeFlores. She asked this writer to join others to dinner on June 29 “to celebrate Social Media Day,” which is today. 

Whether we’re already into it or not yet, one inexorable phenomenon forever changing the way we live, love, communicate, get hold of breaking news, shop, express our political views, mourn and be entertained is the all-pervasive 24/7 social media.

At a Makati social function attended by foreign diplomats and businessmen, The Chinese Embassy’s new 44-year-old deputy chief of mission counselor Sun Xiangyang exchanged cards with me and asked if I’m on WeChat. I frankly didn’t know what WeChat is and later Googled it to learn it’s one of Asia’s popular multimedia networks.

Social media is perpetually in flux and growing, whether we post photos on Flickr, follow and tweet on Twitter, share videos on YouTube, communicate via Facebook, Weibo, MySpace, Google+, Instagram, LinkedIn, SlideShare, Pinterest, etc.

Although most people are into Facebook, I personally prefer Twitter and am delighted to have some international VIPs like Australia’s newly elected Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and CNN’s brilliant Yale-educated host Fareed Zakaria as my followers.

I’m a non-techie social media enthusiast, and here are 15 social media engagement guidelines or “commandments” I suggest for a better quality of life:

1.  Thou shall not use social media in class or at work. I teach college students once a week at La Consolacion College Manila and one of my ground rules is absolutely no phones or tablets for social media, texting or calling during class. Top corporations also have their I.T. people block all social media in offices to prevent loss in productivity and concentration of their work force.

2. Thou shall refrain from adding too many non-acquaintances as “friends.” One of my mistakes at the start of my Facebook days was accepting many strangers as FB friends;  since the limit of each account is only 5,000 friends, what would happen to any real long-lost kin or friends who want to join your account? Now, I have a Facebook page that can accommodate an unlimited number of friends who can “like” and interact with me.

3. Thou shall not use social media in church. Perhaps it’s okay to use social media at concerts, but I believe that we should keep our time with God inside the church or the temple free and sacrosanct from such banal, temporal distractions as social media.

4. Thou shall not use social media at family dinners or meetings with friends. One of the negative effects of modern technologies and social media is this frequent sight of family gathering for Christmas Eve or New Year’s dinner: each member busy in his or her own world due to social media on his or her gadget. Sometimes, gatherings of friends also degenerate into weird situations, wherein the person you’re supposed to be conversing with is actually busier or just half-attentive due to simultaneous interactions with his or her social media “friends” somewhere else. 

5. Lighten up. In other words, be of good cheer and occasionally use humor to spice up our posts. If there are petulant trolls or frustrating things we want to lash out against, why not just use scathing fiery humor? Why so serious? Life is too short for us to be so dour!

6. Thou shall not be distracted by social media. No matter how engrossing, let us not allow social media to weaken our sense of focus and our capacity to concentrate. I believe we humans also need moments of inner peace, solitude, intellectual and spiritual contemplation to enrich our well-being. 

7. Limit time spent on social media. Let us monitor and lessen our time spent on social media daily so that we can enjoy more sleep, physical exercise and recreation, read books, go outdoors and interact with people. Lessen the time you spend online. I think social media has become the 21st century’s new “opiate of the masses.” Many of us refresh our Facebook every 10 minutes, or at least four times a day. Too much of anything is usually not good. Irish poet and writer Oscar Wilde once said: “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

8. Thou shall not post if in an irrational or emotional state. Irrational rants or crazy, ludicrous posts on social media can damage one’s reputation socially and professionally.  Refrain from posting when overly angry, sleep-deprived, giddy with emotions, stressed, under pressure, or drunk with alcohol (better yet, avoid excessive liquor in the first place!). 

9. Thou shall not spam. This is one of the things I hate the most in social media, when people — many whom I do not even really know — spam me and my Facebook friends about things or services they are selling. Avoid spamming, especially, please, do not alienate people with substandard language, hard-sell efforts, poorly researched and asinine data via spam or e-mail barrages, Twitter tweets or Facebook posts. 

10. Thou shall assess and limit social networking networks. Some people think it’s cool to be “in” on all social media networks, but with the diverse and vast range of choices, it is not efficient and no longer beneficial to be everywhere. Exceptions to this commandment are celebrities like Kris Aquino, Anne Curtis or Sharon Cuneta-Pangilinan who most likely have full-time I.T. staff doing or helping them do their social media updates.

11. Thou shall not be lifeless. Some people open accounts on social media that they do not update. Refrain from this catatonic state — not good for your cyberspace reputation.

12. Thou shall refrain from selling. Experts assert that the essence of social media is to attract and engage people, who shall then promote your business on your behalf. Let us not be selfish or too self-centered in marketing one’s business or ourselves through the social media; let us help edify, entertain, enlighten people by giving and sharing worthwhile as well as fun content.

13. Thy favorite book shouldn’t be Facebook! Once I asked some students what their favorite book is, and a good-humored student raised her hand and replied: “Facebook!” Seriously, let us remind ourselves that outside the virtual world of social media, there’s a real world we should invest in more in terms of social life, sports, books, arts, nature, recreational and cultural activities in order to draw inspiration and ideas for us to become more interesting in social media. It’s tragic if we have “friends” thousands of kilometers away, but do not know or care about our next-door neighbors or kin.

14.  Thou shall focus on quality, not quantity, of social media posts. Like in other areas of life, I believe the quality of our social media posts is infinitely more important than just the sheer volume or quantity.

15. Thou shall not lose courtesy, temper or common sense on social media. Despite social media being in general informal, lighthearted, personal and almost like playing games, I suggest we always practice basic good manners we learned in kindergarten, uphold common sense (which is actually not so common on this earth!), use polished language and never trashy lingo, and keep cool even in the face of inanities. Let us not forget: what we post in social media shall outlive us and forever affect our reputations.

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