Hell hath no fury like a city scorned

Oops, he did it again.

Dan Brown, whose latest Robert Langdon thriller Inferno is already on bestseller lists, has pissed off another city.

After all, hell hath no fury like a city scorned, a lesson that Brown knows well. After all, he took on the Vatican in The Da Vinci Code. And all the froth and fury over a few sentences about Manila in his latest book will no doubt boost book sales here.

Sure, Metro Manila gets a bad rap sometimes. First it was Claire Danes. (Is she still persona non grata for saying Manila was “ghastly and weird” when she shot Brokedown Palace here many years ago? Or is she consoling herself with her armful of Emmys for Homeland?) Then there were those off-the-cuff remarks by dumbo celebrities — Alec Baldwin with his “Filipina mail-order bride” comment on Letterman, Adam Corolla slamming Manny Pacquiao and the “sex tours” here, and Howard Stern with his usual provocations. People even got upset when Bourne Legacy director Tony Gilroy described Manila as “stinky and crowded.” But guess what? That’s what he was looking for! That’s why he filmed here!

It must be tough to hear criticism. Brown certainly knows that. He probably generated more criticism from Catholics with Da Vinci Code than any other writer since Hitler. But he knew what was coming even before he wrote the thing. So he took his lumps, and counted his money.

Now there’s Inferno, which picks up Langdon in Florence, on the run from gun-wielding punks and the US government, and carrying a biohazard cylinder with a micro-sized version of Botticelli’s “Map of Hell” inside. The map does not specifically mention Manila or any parts of Roxas Boulevard during rush hour, but the insults come soon after.

Langdon hooks up with a doctor named Sienna Brooks (yeah, right) who helps him escape the gun-wielding punks as they try to sort out a mystery related to Dante’s epic poem, “Inferno.” As usual, Brown’s book is a page-turner, you can finish it in one afternoon, but most local critics will not bother even reading it; they’ll just turn to the two pages or so in which Dr. Brooks relives a bad time in Manila and sulk:

When the group settled in among the throngs in the city of Manila, the most densely populated city on earth, Sienna could only gape in horror. She had never seen poverty on this scale.

There are references to major traffic jams, pollution and a rampant sex trade (“children sold to pimps by parents who took solace in knowing that at least their children would be fed”).

I’ve run through the gates of hell, concludes Dr. Brooks.

But Metro Manila Development Authority chairman Francis Tolentino begs to differ. He even wrote a letter to Brown, saying in part, “We are displeased with how you have used Manila as a venue and source of a character’s breakdown and trauma, much more her disillusionment in humanity.”

Tolentino defended Metro Manila as a “center of Filipino spirit, faith and hope” and concluded, “Truly, our place is an entry to heaven.” (Well, in the book, Brooks is saved from would-be rapists by a deaf Filipina. That’s hopeful!)

Tolentino has even urged Mr. Brown to come to Manila himself and see how mistaken he is. Maybe he will treat him to a kalesa ride.

I’ve got to go with the writer on this one. While the MMDA is doing what it can to “beautify” Manila, you can’t deny some of the things Brown’s character mentions. There are traffic jams. There is poverty. There is pollution. And — as CNN recently detailed in a documentary and even US Ambassador Harry K. Thomas has acknowledged — there is a sex trade.

Okay, maybe it’s a bit hyperbolic to call it the “Gates of Hell.” Perhaps Brown should have adjusted his Google Maps and described it as “Upper Hell,” a place that Dante reserved for the indulgent sins of lust, gluttony, avarice and anger. There’s certainly plenty of that, and it has more of a ring of authenticity to it.

But here’s the thing: Manileños should learn to stop being so thin-skinned. Every time someone says something bad about Manila, there is a rush to defend it and attack the accuser, no matter how accurate the criticism. How about just shrugging it off? Aren’t you more likely to fan the flames of a non-existent controversy by dignifying it with a response, or in the case of Tolentino, a letter from a government agency? Just let it go. You’ll just end up looking petty and small and ridiculous for taking on a novelist. They’re paid to exaggerate stuff, after all.

As proof that this kind of sore-headed sulking always backfires on you, local social media have responded to Tolentino’s outrage by agreeing with Brown, and suggesting that maybe the MMDA chairman “should visit Manila sometime, so he’ll see the truth.” Others even use the “hell” reference as a badge of honor in their posts: “See you in hell tonight!” (I foresee a new DOT poster: “Hell: It’s More Fun in The Philippines.”)

It might be added that Manila is a place that’s been through hell more than a few times in its glorious history: it was bombed to pieces during World War II, for instance. And yet from that wreckage came a population as strong as ever, even more battle-tested and resilient.

Langdon comes to a similar conclusion in Inferno: “Dante’s poem was not so much about the misery of hell as it was about the power of the human spirit to endure and challenge, no matter how daunting.”

Hey, that sounds like he’s saying Hell is a place of resilience. And so, one might add, is Manila.

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Dan Brown’s Inferno is available at National Book Store.