The Story of Money

It is with great pleasure that I write this article for this new column in partnership with The STAR and BPI. I am thrilled by the thought of finally having a chance to share our views as husband and wife in the aspect of finances.

I have to admit, Anthony and I are no finance gurus. We are a work in progress when it comes to this area of our lives and we believe that this column will bring us to a higher level of appreciation in terms of understanding money and its use not only for our own good but as a tool to help improve the lives of others.

The work that we do has given us the privilege of learning from experts and reading a whole lot of material about finance management. Personally as well, we have had our fair share of challenges as well as milestones with whatever we have been blessed with.

We know that we are not alone in this quest to be good stewards of what we have been entrusted with, thus the excitement to share our story. Let’s learn from each other and thrive!

I have been married for 20 years and for the first 15 years of my married life, I had the luxury of not having had to think about our budget. My husband Anthony was quite adept at handling and organizing the family finances so that I enjoyed receiving envelopes with properly allocated amounts of money for every conceivable need. This was done with the help of his able office assistants. This setup was most convenient and stress-free for someone like me whose idea of utilizing money was simply spending whatever amount I still had left in my pocket. I never really learned to properly handle money. I knew how to grow it, though, from whatever we managed to set aside for the future (yes, there was an envelope for that, too). But when our office assistants moved on to other engagements, Anthony had his hands full and I realized that perhaps it was also the perfect time for me to learn about our finances once and for all. Not having any experience or even the slightest clue how to go about it, it was a big risk taking on the task. Thank God I had Anthony’s trust and support.

Still, in the five years or so that I have been in charge of the budget, I have made major mistakes that cost our family so much money – from forgetting to pay bills on time or not knowing when certain items were due to certain people.

I would have to say, though, that the experience taught me the importance of money in a huge way. I have become wiser in our choice of products so that we get the best value for money we spend, be it in the market or the grocery. I have also developed a deeper awareness on ways to economize, from not leaving the lights on when it’s not needed, to reminding my children on countless occasions to never leave their food unfinished because every grain of rice is precious. I am still learning and I am excited to discover new ways of being enriched with tools to grow and share our financial resources.

That is why when I received a call to do a one-on-one interview with the great Suze Orman – a recognized finance guru and one of the most powerful women in America, I was overjoyed. It was to be my third encounter with her but this was the first time I would have the chance to speak to her for a whole hour and ask as much as I could. Excited and unable to contain my joy, I had to share the news with my youngest brother, Mikhail, who had just graduated from college and is himself looking to get himself involved in investment banking. Mikhail and I sat down with Suze for more than an hour and meeting my brother, who was young and enthusiastic about saving his money, gave Suze a boost.

Not one to relish the prospect of eating out now and then, Suze told us that she truly gets a great deal of satisfaction saving rather than spending money. She defined for us what money should be and that is to make it a tool for safety and security for the future. She reminded us that the way we handle money says a lot about who we are and about what the future holds for us. How we feel about money will dictate how we use it and the more we respect ourselves, the more we will tend to value money. Respect for other people’s money comes with the territory

as well. During our interview held at a posh restaurant in one of Makati’s finest hotels, Suze knew she wasn’t footing the bill but she settled for regular bottled water instead of some fancy drink or meal. Another lesson learned.

Since this column is about money matters in the family, I asked her who should be handling money at home. Her answer: Everybody should be involved. Normally, the woman takes charge of the finances but that has to change. She also reminded me that the biggest lessons my children have learned and will still learn about money will come from what they see and not necessarily what they are told.

She also cautions women to stay away from a man who cannot handle his money well. While there is always hope, until that person gets help and exhibits positive changes in his money habits, a woman should not ever consider marriage with him.

In fact, she advises, couples should consider financial intimacy before plunging into any long-term commitment. Since our country does not give the option of divorce, such matters should be greatly considered with a spouse one is to end up with for life!

She is not so eager to advise solutions or strategies for challenges that involve money like credit card debt or budgets. She invited me to look at the story that the challenges are revealing and to find the deeper issue. We would need to ask questions like, “What do I feel when I spend my money?” or “Why did I spend my money that way?” It is in finding the source of such spendings that solutions to problems about money lie.

There are three things that Suze presented to us that allow us to spend money unwisely: Fear, shame and anger. She said people spend money the wrong way when they fear what people will say about their clothes that are not made by known designers. She challenged us not to buy things that would impress people we don’t know and who we don’t like any way.

As a parent, she encouraged me to invite my children to understand how things work at home, how they can improve, and how we take care of our resources most especially of our money. They should understand where it comes from and its use. We must also be able to secure their future by getting ourselves insured with term insurance.

Lastly, Suzy encouraged Mikhail and I to pursue those that we love to do and enjoy the most because these things will allow us to enjoy and take care of whatever we will get out of it and that the result is contagious!

** *

You may share with us your thoughts and ask us questions at wealthness@philstar.com.ph. For asset management and investment options, you may visit www.bpiassetmanagement.com