Make kuwento about Lola Priscilla

MANILA, Philippines - Every time I would see and speak with Lola, I would ask her, “Lola, kumusta po kayo?”

 She would laugh, and answer, “Gaya pa rin ng dati, yung mata ko napipikit, inaantok.”

 That would be music to my ears. In my mind and heart, I would say, “That’s a good thing. Mabuti po iyon.” I’m glad. In our gifted lives, that things remain the same is a blessing.

My best friend was 62 years older than me. I loved talking to her, and looked forward to every opportunity, and sometimes she would say things only when I would be the only one around. And on April 29, 2012, she said and did something when I was the only one around: she breathed her last.

 Like lovely flowers that we see, we don’t know when they will wilt, but they are beautiful while they live. That is certainly true for our beautiful Lola Priscilla. We are lucky to have met, encountered and lived with her for the past nine decades, and a bonus of four years.

 To me, she was blessed to complete the circle of life. A human being starts life being born out of nothing but the love of God. A small human being, a baby, starts life lying on its back, then learning to open his or her eyes, then learning to speak, and learning to walk. We reach our peak, and as we grow older, we lose our strength to walk, we always have to lay on the bed like a baby, we lose our ability to communicate, and in God’s perfect time, go back to being nothing — all through the love of God.

 On April 17, 2012, she wrote, in the clearest of all her handwritings in the past three decades, perhaps through the hand of God, “What comes next?” then followed it with “How many days more?” on a day that both Tita Nel and I were with her. Neither of us had the answer. None of us did. But now, Lola knows.

 Lola Pris always prayed. It took away her anxiety. She always thought of others: what she could give, what she could do and how she could be an asset, and she was always an asset. And the only thing she asked for herself in her last days was: “Pray the rosary tomorrow for me.”

 So every time we say the rosary, every time we keep away bad thoughts and words, every time we pray and give, every time we laugh, we keep her alive, her spirit among us.

 We loved to make kuwento-kuwento. I treasured them the most. Every line Lola would say, she would laugh like nothing else. She could talk about current events, about the news, about your concerns and her thoughts, and ask you about laptops, Twitter and Facebook: what they are and how they work. I explained them to her, knowing that they are well beyond her time. But now, Lola has gone way beyond our time, and this time, she will be the one who will hopefully share with us what Heaven is all about, how it works and how to get there. Hopefully Lola Pris will show us the way.

 I do look forward to that: to continue telling stories to Lola and to hear about hers. To update her about what has happened to our lives, our work, our clients that she would probably be happy about, and the things that have been said and done. And I look forward to hearing about her experiences and thoughts, her kind words, her words of advice, and most importantly, to hear her laugh again.

 And so our challenge today and every day is to make sure that everything we say and do is a good thing, and that Lola would approve, so that we can tell her about them when we see her again.

 If you met her, if you knew her, I urge you to make kuwento about Lola. We are the only ones who know her, met her and have been so blessed to have had her in our lives — except for the poor who received her gifts and donations at Christmas and in time of need, whose faces she also probably put a smile on, too.

 To keep her stories, her ways, and her values alive in our lives, and our world today, let’s make kuwento-kuwento about our friend, our confidant, our guardian angel — Ma, Lola, Lola Great Priscilla — so that the goodness and values of Lola will continue to be told, practiced and spread wherever we go.

 So that, in a way, it will be “Gaya pa rin ng dati.”

 I remember what she told me last March when she first got sick, which I now say to her:

 â€œLola, ‘Basta andyan ka lang, ayos na.’”

* * *

Grand mother

The following essay was written on April 29, 2008, four years before the author’s lola passed away.

The truth is, I want to go back home to Manila just to spend some treasured talk time with my Lola. I really miss her a lot. She’s been a great role model for me in terms of simplicity, humility and propriety. I also think that I got the writing bug from her. She was a columnist too (even until her 80s), and writes the most convincing letters — they absolutely must be framed.

 She’s 90 now, and I know I must go home to sit in our sala, and have those real and warm conversations with her that usually last until midnight, with me usually giving up first.

 She has a lot of wisdom, and I’d love for all my friends and family to meet her. She’s a great conversationalist. She laughs a lot. She finds joy in the simplest of things.

 People have told me I always look so dignified when they see me. I’m not the T-shirt and jeans kind of girl. More like a dress kind of woman. But in terms of being dignified, prim and proper, in thought, word and action, they have got to meet my Lola Priscilla. She never steps out of her room without a robe on. Even her house clothes look like Sunday dresses. At 90, she still wears stockings, makeup and nail polish.

 During my last trip to Manila, she took me out shopping and bought me whatever I wanted. No matter how uneasy I felt that she was spending her precious pension on me, I knew that made her happy. I remember our trip to the drugstore for her medication, and I was the one who had to ask for a chair, ammonia, water and 10 minutes of rest. I had just undergone surgery then and was on my second week of liquid diet.

 There are some stories she tells just me, and not others. There are also some comments and observations she only shares with me. We still share books and articles, TV shows and recipes. I showed her the Lifestyle Channel because she loves crafts. And she showed me that peeling mangoes is much easier for a 90-year-old than a 28-year-old. And she prefers sharp knives too. My Lola tends to her garden, beading and flowers daily. “Flowers show God’s miracles every day.” The simplest of things, such as a new recipe or a day out at the mall gives her great joy. She sees everything as a blessing. As she is one in our home and in our lives.                                                                                  

* * *

April 28, 2008

 I just received a letter in the mail from my Lola. I just realized that I can’t begin to tell you about her, because that is basically a narration of almost the past 100 years. If I can only quote her quips and thoughts in all her letters... she has such a sharp mind! And the ability to put all of it in rhythmic words to boot!

 One such line in her letter to me, dated April 14, 2008, goes: “There is so much talk of a rice crisis and anomalies here and there. Life goes on and despite the hot news, we feel that we are safe. I entrust everything to the Lord, and this makes me feel good. I lift up all of you in our family day after day, so that I will be free from worry and anxiety.”

 And then I remember how she is still so up on current affairs. When Jose de Venecia was giving his valedictory speech, she listened and gave her comments. How she listens so intently to her radio each day, and how much she liked the lectures of the Nobel Prize winners in physics who gave a talk in UP. And finally, when she tells stories, how she laughs hysterically, as if nothing else matters. And at that moment, nothing really does.