Do you believe in the seven-year itch?

You may be wondering why I’m asking this question when we’re supposed to be celebrating Valentine’s in a few days! But when we talk about relationships, the seven-year itch syndrome becomes part of the discussion.

Personally, I don’t believe in this syndrome but I do believe that two people so madly in love can also fall out of love as the years go by.  People change, we definitely are not the same person we were five, seven or 10 years back. Our partners change too and if we don’t grow together we will definitely grow apart from each other.  Yes, being together is a choice but making a choice of taking the road less traveled also takes courage and guts. Three years ago, I was forced to follow the road less traveled. In the beginning  it did scare me but as I reached the end I suddenly felt liberated, happy and at peace!

Beng Dee, COO Foodlink Group

I am going on 30 years of marriage. By now I have passed the seven-year itch four times. It may be true to some, but as far as I am concerned, I only have the same person scratching my heart, and continuously working my best to make this same person, Rikki Dee, feel the same way. So far so good!  

Dr. Aivee Aguilar Teo

I don’t believe in it because I have been married eight  years and I am not feeling itchy...yet! Ha!

Mary Jane Ortega, former Mayor of San Fernando, La Union

The seven-year itch must have come about because of a belief that a phase in one’s life comes every seven years.  Seven years old, 14 years, 21, 28 and the like.  Some also apply this to a marriage or a relationship, where you enter a different phase every seven years.  I know a relative who always changed partners every seven years and when asked why he did not settle down with one, he said, “I will marry the woman who can survive my seven-year itch.”  At last, he  married the woman who survived two cycles of seven years. For my part, what is important in any relationship is the commitment  and conditional love for one another so that the seven-year-itch can be overcome.

Dr. Luz Casimiro Querubin, psychiatrist

I do not believe in the seven-year itch primarily because of the seven-year timeline. The phrase assumes that the tendency for infidelity begins in the seventh year of marriage.  In the past 15 years of my practice as a psychiatrist, I have been privy to stories of infidelity.  There are cases where the infidelity started in the first year of marriage.  I have known people who have maintained not just affairs but parallel relationships, some as long as their marriages.  Infidelity is not a factor of time, it is a factor of personality and capacity to love and be committed in a relationship. Is it easy to be faithful?  From where I sit in my clinic and from the stories I hear, fidelity is a choice, and it is possible.

Chit Lijauco, editor, Rotarian

It’s more of a four-year itch if you believe in hormone studies. That’s the life span of the love hormone PEA, which gives us all the fuzzy feelings of being in love. When PEA production wanes,  one  gets all the feelings related with falling out of love. Knowing this, you can revive a relationship by doing many things:  reliving good moments, taking the relationship to another level; or channeling your energies to something else. Easier said than done, however.

Jun Mayo, diplomat

Temptation and infidelity versus love and respect. Married couples need to be constantly reminded of the danger and consequences of breaking that circle of trust. And there are symbols and images that help fight the itch whenever and wherever it presents itself — your wedding band, pictures of your lovely wife and children, career,  family and common friends, etc.

Ana Kalaw, writer

People change. Sometimes we rethink — or lose track of — our priorities leading us to want something new or different in a relationship. But rather than this syndrome, I believe more in second chances and working together to overcome rough patches...because life shouldn’t be one big uncertainty.

Gina Lee, distributor of Dazzle Dry

I believe that when you are in a relationship, the seven-year itch is bound to happen. I am just not sure why it’s called seven because it can happen after a year or 20, depending on the person you’re with and the circumstances in your relationship with this person. I also think that this syndrome is not gender specific, it can affect women and not just men. My advice is when you feel the itch, don’t give in because it can drastically change your life, usually not for the better. Just grab a tube of hydrocortisone and apply it to the itch. It will be cheaper in the long run!

Pat-P Daza, head, Artist Relations, ABS-CBN Corportation

After two failed marriages, I don’t believe in relationships anymore.  At this point in my life, I just want to enjoy my children, my family, my friends and my work.  If someone comes along,  I will enjoy it until it lasts.

Gene Orejana, former TV host, regional operations manager, New Zealand and Pacific Isles, The Western Union Company

No, I don’t believe in it. The “itching” can come within and even beyond the seven-year period if a relationship is devoid of love, honesty, respect and fidelity. The absence of any one of these qualities in a marriage would, to a certain extent, trigger that so-called itch.