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Over 60? Hope you've learned these 26 things | Philstar.com
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Sunday Lifestyle

Over 60? Hope you've learned these 26 things

SECOND WIND - Barbara Gonzalez-Ventura - The Philippine Star

The very first thing you have to know if you’re over 60 is what you like, what you hate, what you will die for, what you might kill for, how you feel, what you think, and who you truly are. Then you must fully love and cherish this person and you must also forgive all the mistakes he or she has made and acknowledge the precious simple lessons learned. That makes four things.

Then — and this is hard — acknowledge that you are getting old. Your looks are going. Instead of being pretty, you are developing character as your face begins to sag and the lines round your mouth deepen. Think of the laughter and tears that put those lines there and be profoundly grateful.

 Love your children deeply but let them go. They have their own lives to live, their own mistakes to make, their own lessons to learn; but try to be a comfort when they need you. When you fail, forgive them and yourself. If a few of them provoke you into love-hate relationships, accept those too and do what you feel is best for you. Always remember you are responsible first for your own life and then for your children’s. Not the other way around. 

Treat everyone fairly. This is very important.

 When deciding, feel then think, then feel again, then ponder. Keep doing this until your decision is clear to you. Don’t rush. Always take all the time you have. You should not make any more rash decisions. But if you are severely tempted to make one more impulsive decision, then do it. It will always be worth the lesson. Remember, no one gets too old for lessons.

 Adore and spoil your grandchildren, especially those over 21. Your children’s children are not your children. You are not directly responsible for them so make sure they have a good time with you. Also, they are your sweet revenge on your children. Admit it, there is some enjoyment in that.

 Fill your time doing things you love. I am a crafts person. So I love to tinker. These days I make costume jewelry. I do that all day. Then I love computer games. I play after work. You see, I live alone. I have no men to worry about. I also love reading. I read before I go to bed. Then I sleep eight full hours.

 Take lessons. Learn to play a musical instrument or learn how to speak Spanish, French or German, even English. I take jewelry classes. It has made me new wonderful friends and it gets me out of my house at least once a week.

 Go out to lunch with old and new friends. Try new restaurants, taste new food, enjoy new flavors. Stop worrying about your weight. Enjoy yourself.

Accept all dinner invitations, they get fewer by the year. Dress your best and enjoy dressing up. Then learn to quietly disappear when you find yourself getting sleepy. My secret to personal enjoyment is taking a French leave, not saying good-bye to anyone, just quietly sneaking off home.

Enjoy your home. Fix it on weekends. Change whatever needs changing. Buy fresh flowers or, if you have a garden, pick some fresh flowers or leaves and put them in vases around the house. Mess your house up during the week but tidy up on weekends. I love fixing my home.

 Take care of your health but don’t obsess over it. I love to eat meat but don’t do it every day. Sometimes when I’m in the mood for a huge steak I call my grandson or a friend and have a huge steak washed down with a glass or two of my favorite wine — cabernet sauvignon. Then I am happy.   

I hate it when I have a cough or the flu, but what can one do? Generally I don’t enjoy obeying doctor’s orders but I listen well and when it makes sense and sounds enjoyable I do it. I don’t like doctors or anybody, especially men, who preach to me and tell me what he thinks I should do. Usually I look at him and think — and you can go to hell — but usually I don’t say it because he will think I am old and cranky. I admit I often am.

 I like to contemplate death because I see that as my next major threshold. After all, I am turning 68 soon, nudging 70. That’s old. I am already preparing for my death. My will is ready. The documents are ready. I am prepared. Everyone thinks I’m depressed, suicidal or just plain crazy, but to me, death is part of life. At this age, it’s the next major step. I think people who are afraid of death are immature.

 Have the courage to do what you want when you want and how you want. Everyone has that right but it takes us a long time to see it. If you haven’t seen it yet, well, stare at it now. You have the right. Go do it.

 Correct rude young people — and by young, I mean younger than you. These days that old school subject “Good Manners and Right Conduct” is totally lost and we have generations of people who don’t know what good manners and right conduct are. Teach them. I don’t care if they get mad at me. At least I tried to teach them lessons in courtesy and propriety.

 Finally, this is the 26th lesson of all: LIVE!!! Breathe deeply, every morning. Be grateful you are alive. Laugh at everything you find funny and look for what’s funny in everything. Laugh until you die. Then, when you are hovering over your body just before you fly into the white light, you will be lifted by the knowledge that you survived this life and you will fly joyfully into the next one.

CHILDREN

DON

GENERALLY I

GOOD MANNERS AND RIGHT CONDUCT

LOVE

MDASH

SO I

THEN I

USUALLY I

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