Gentle old men

Hopefully, I’ll be an old man. Of course, being old isn’t popular, particularly in our modern age where society has become overly youth-obsessed. Everyone wants to stay young and beautiful forever. We don’t like seeing our icons, whether in media, movies, or elsewhere, age. Similarly, we all want the latest things, the newest gadgets, the most novel fashions. Being old means becoming irrelevant, uncool and unhip. While I, too, value youthfulness and enjoy new things, two experiences have given me greater appreciation for the value of growing old.

Last Monday, the Kapunan family, my in-laws, had our family portrait taken. The last time that the family of Justice Santiago Kapunan, my father-in-law, had a family picture taken was 10 years ago and there have been many additions to the family since then, including my two sons, Santi, 9, and Mike, 6. Also my brother-in-law, Nonoy, had married and very recently there was the marriage of the eldest grandchild. So it was a good time to have a portrait of the family taken, particularly also since my dad-in-law was nearing 80. As with other family events with children and grandchildren running around and causing mayhem, it was a hectic but ultimately happy and fun affair. In the midst of it all, I couldn’t help but admire how much genuine affection there was, from the children to the grandkids and even the household staff who are part and parcel of the extended Filipino family, for my parents-in-law. While no family is perfect, I was witness — and part of — a family that was flourishing and generally happy, in large part due to the guidance and presence of an old man, the patriarch of the family. Again, Papa, as we fondly call him, isn’t perfect either — he is by turns over-protective and serious, but his kindness, simplicity, and his deep love for his family not only make up for the general human imperfections but have been the foundations of our family. Simply put, I couldn’t help but aspire that my family, too, would be as strong as his; that I, too, would stand the test of time and get to enjoy seeing my children and grandchildren growing up. In short, I appreciated how it must feel for Papa, at his advanced age, to be able to enjoy the fruits of a life spent focused on his family. During the photo shoot, he seemed at peace with the world and — as is his wont — downplayed how much he enjoyed seeing all his grandkids gathered in one place. 

That was my family experience. But at work, as the resident legal analyst for ANC’s coverage of the impeachment trial of Chief Justice Corona, I also witnessed — and admired — two old men: Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile and defense counsel Serafin Cuevas. Political biases aside, these two men have shown, in the two weeks of the impeachment proceedings, an inspiring depth of legal knowledge, both procedural and substantive. In addition to this, they have exuded a gentlemanly — let’s call it old school — decorum, which, unfortunately, as someone who goes regularly to trial knows, is slowly being forgotten by younger, less-experienced lawyers. Again, both men have their faults and politically many would disagree with the stands that they have taken on national issues and the work that they have done. But in terms of how they have handled themselves in the proceedings in past two weeks, it would be an understatement to say that young lawyers — and those interested in the law — have much to learn from both these old gentlemen.

One of the things that I appreciated is how meticulous and methodical both men have been at the trial. Understandably, some misunderstand the objections of Cuevas and the rulings of Enrile and see it as being too meticulous and technical. However, doing things in an orderly fashion that protects the rights of all parties shouldn’t be viewed as “technical” but should be understood as part of due process or basic procedural fairness. In our modern Internet age, where Google and Facebook are supreme, we want things instantaneously — instant messaging, instant information, and instant gratification. But not all things can — or should — be done quickly. Particularly when dealing with issues of law and justice, haste not only makes waste but also violates due process. So the advanced age of these two gentlemen, their relative slowness compared perhaps to younger folk, instead of being a liability has become a strength in the trial. As a young lawyer myself, I’m doing my best to keep up and hopefully learn from these two masters of trial and law as I cover the impeachment proceedings from the Senate.

And perhaps that is the lesson in all of this: that mastery, whether it be of the law or even of being a father and family man, simply takes time. That, in the rush and crush of the ever-speeding modern world of ours, some things just cannot be rushed. So while we marvel at the latest gadgets, swoon at the latest and youngest “stars” of the small and big screen, and search of the next big thing in culture or media, let’s not forget the value of what is old, tried and tested. Some things do get better with age. And hopefully I, too, can partake of that improvement as I turn, inevitably and hopefully, into an old man.