Choosing between work and time with kids

DEAR NANAY,

Happy Holidays, Nanay! Thank you for always giving us readers your precious time these past years by giving your advice and sharing your thoughts through this column.

My New Year’s resolution is to spend more time with my family because we have two young children, ages six and four. I fear I am missing out on their childhood and the opportunity to mold our two sons into the best young men they can be.

My only fear is I am not sure if it is a good idea to quit my job. My boss has offered me to work part-time so I can spend more time at home but I am not sure which option I should take.                                                                            — GENEVIEVE

DEAR GENEVIEVE,

I think it is always a good idea for you to spend as much time as possible with your children as there is no better love than a mother’s love. Siyempre, iba yung warmth kapag mag-ina ang magkasama (It’s really better when the mother is with her children). And also, these are the precious years you need to cherish as they will never come back again.

Having said that, I think the best choice for you will really depend on your circumstances.

All else equal, you sound like you do not really need your job and that you are probably financially stable with or without it. It also sounds like you actually like your job and would probably prefer to keep it except that spending time with your kids is even more important to you.

Depending on how much time you want with your kids, perhaps your boss’s offer for you to work part-time or from your home may be a good idea. You get to spend time with the family but you also keep your job and stay in touch with your professional contacts. And, besides, your six-year-old is probably already in big school and has a full day of activities. And your four-year-old will be in the same boat soon. So even if you are at home, you may not be able to spend the whole day with the kids because they have school. What will you do for those hours? A part-time job or a flexible work schedule may be just the thing for you.

Sincerely,

NANAY

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DEAR NANAY,

It is a very noble (and practical!) goal you have set for yourself where you just want your children and grandchildren to finish their schooling. Indeed that is a fine goal to set for yourself and the rest of your family and everyone would be well advised to follow your lead.

I think we Filipinos, perhaps like many other Asian cultures, put prime importance on education, that it is crucial to people’s success. You can see just how important education is to us just from the book of Amy Chua, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom, who is actually a Filipino-Chinese!

Indeed, I will not argue that getting an education is a guarantee to success. And not getting a college degree is certainly not a hindrance to success (just look at yourself and Steve Jobs!). But I think we should do everything we can to give our children every opportunity and every tool they need to succeed in this ever more competitive world we are living in. Our children are now competing not just with other Filipinos but with Americans, Europeans, Koreans, Chinese, Japanese, Indians and the youth of every other country in the world. This is what globalization and the Internet have done. This is what it means when you say that the world is becoming smaller and smaller. And this is what it means now to be world class. You really have to be in the same class as the rest of the world. And that is what it takes if you really want to succeed in leaving your mark in the world.                                                                      — JENNIFER T.

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