How to dissuade husband from naming their child after Captain America

DEAR NANAY,

I will give birth sometime early next year and my husband and I are trying to decide on the name to give our baby boy. Our argument is what name to give him?

My husband wants to give him a name based on a comic book character because he loves comic books.  His favorite character is Captain America, whose real name is Steve Rogers, so he wants to name our son after Captain America, “Steve Rogers Cruz.”

For me, I think it is completely unacceptable.  Imagine your son having such a silly name like “Steve Rogers” and being named after an imaginary superhero.  I just want to name him after my father or after my husband’s father and really pay homage to men who he can look up to and emulate.

How do we settle our argument?  How do you suggest I convince my husband not to name him after a cartoon character? 

— N. Cruz

Dear N. Cruz,

You have to understand that people name their children after all kinds of people, places or things.  Sometimes the names turn out to be quite amusing.  But sometimes parents do look back and say to themselves “What were we thinking?”  And usually by the time they realize the silliness of what they did, it is too late to undo the damage.

I do not think there is anything wrong with giving your child a unique name.  At the very least, wala siyang magiging kapareho ng pangalan (there won’t be many people with the same name), especially with a common last name like “Cruz.”  Speaking from experience, there are numerous members of my family who also have many namesakes as “Ramos” is a very common name.

However, in your case, I think we are on the same side.  My suggestion is that if you choose to name your child after someone or something, make sure it is a name that he can be proud of in the future.  Don’t make it so frivolous or comedic that he might become the subject of ridicule as he grows up.  The question of course is how do you convince your husband.

If you just talk to him nicely, and you present your case well, I think he will eventually come around and see things your way.  Baka naman natatawa lang siya na pangalanan ang anak niya na “Steve Rogers” (he just might be amused over the name) but maybe he does not really mean it.  When it comes time for you to give birth in a couple of months or so, maybe he will be more reasonable.  If you are really concerned today, perhaps you could have a serious talk with him and tell him that you are really concerned that he might find it funny now but he may not find it so amusing 10 or 12 years from now when your son’s classmates in school are making fun of him.  Good luck!

Sincerely,

NANAY

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DEAR NANAY, 

I read your column last week on the father-in-law who made embarrassing comments during his speech about the bride’s family.

This is completely unacceptable.  I have seen far too many weddings in my day where someone got drunk and made a complete fool of himself.  But to Missy, don’t worry.  It was he who made a fool of himself and not you, your daughter or your family.  It was he who embarrassed himself, his son and his family.  They are the ones who should feel ashamed and not you.  So take the high road! Be the gracious one! You can stand with pride and without shame.

Nanay is right.  Just let it go!  Anyway, they are the ones who now will be the subject of ridicule and chismis.  Not you.

 — Also a victim

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