25 reasons why I love this country
1. First and foremost, as they say, being a born bellyacher, I just love our very own comfort zone. This country and I are made for each other. In most others, especially those that are well managed, it’d be so dull since I might not have anything to complain about.
2. I’m proud to be part of a very unique country. Why, it’s the only one left in the world that still won’t allow divorce. And even if we somehow manage to finally divorce our sense of Church from our sense of State, we’ll still go down in history as the last to join the club of sentient, rational, realistic, practical nations.
3. We also have the longest-running communist rebellion in world history. If someone in Utrecht lives to be a centenarian, why, ours could be a record for rebellion never to be surpassed.
4. We’re the texting capital of the world, h0oh-rR@y! And even if our telecom giants keep raking it in, they still need the Senate to tell ‘em off when they aren’t exactly making everyone happy. Same goes for Internet service provider companies, which promise “as much” as this or that peak of mbps (megabites per second) — technically something it can offer for a few minutes a month and still uphold the promo promise. Oh, so many more gripes in this area — failing or inconsistent signal strength being primary, canny moves that suggest unethical conduct not necessarily secondary. Is there new hope, with Mar Roxas taking over DOTC? Well, we’re always big on hope, especially since we still have yet to see the likes of a Ralph Nader leading the revolt over consumer rip-offs.
5. The item above leads to this fifth reason for remaining obstinately crazy for our country. All the stress is good for the heart, besides enhancing our chances on the survival-of-the-fittest scale. All that eternal contrapuntal hullabaloo on all kinds of issues, major to minor, give us all a good workout, To name just a few for the nonce and down the road, the provision and use of contraceptives, divorce, abortion, euthanasia, prostitution, decriminalization of personal marijuana use — ahh, we have a long workout ahead. And it gives me hope to live to a hundred just to see all these issues resolved.
6. We’ve been officially tagged as the most disaster-prone country. This ties up with Item No. 5. People who rack up so much experience in disaster clean-ups (not to mention possible mitigation) can live on the far side of the moon if it becomes necessary.
7. Ah, but then there’s the wealth of inherent appreciation, too. Lechon (Zubuchon from Cebu in particular), leche flan, dulce gatas from Bacolod, yema, macapuno, dalandan juice, guyabano, chicharong bisaya, balbacua, sinuglao, sinigang sa pakwan, Savory chicken, pancit Canton, adobo! I rest my case.
8. Then we have our yet pristine islands and marvelous beaches, from the popular to the relatively untouched. Boracay’s daily splendor at sundown, the islands of Northern Palawan and Honda Bay, Mira-ira Cove’s blue-lagoon-type beach in the deep north, Balesin, CamSur, Misibis Bay, Panglao, Balicasag, Siquijor, Apo, Puerto Galera, Sipalay in Negros, Camiguin, Siargao... And a few others I’m still keeping secret.
9. Don’t we just love tropical gardens? Heliconias, torch gingers, bougainvillea, medinilla, jade vine, caballero, Golden Shower, et al. Ahh, efflorescence, thou art our birthright.
10. I would never exchange being a Manila resident with being an expat in, say, Singapore, KL, Bangkok or Ho Chi Minh, especially for a full-year contract. Here our “cuatro meses de polvo, cuatro meses de lodo, y cuatro meses de todo (four months of dust, four months of mud, and four months of everything),” as described by our first colonizers, actually gifts us with a variety of “weather-weather.” Unlike in those tropical hothouses so close to the equator, where daily humidity stays consistent, here we have amihan and habigat. December-to-February is a balm, and there’s nothing like a good old howler of a typhoon to circulate all those healthy negative ions in the air, apart from giving our urban landscapes a fresh wash. Not to mention inspired notions of romance, or curling up with a good book. In brief, bed weather.
11. Three words: cheap good massage. Where else can one call or text for an hour’s gratifying home service for P300 or less? And when you’re on a popular beach, you can have it right on the sands, within susurrus range of the surf. (Never mind if the masseuses’ hands betray ex-lavandera calluses!)
12. Lolo and lola and yaya! We have ‘em all, we keep ‘em with us or within close range. Or if the forebears may be a flight or Roro ship away, we still see ‘em often. Why, “apostolic” visits are even expected if a young family has migrated abroad. Couple that with our kasambahay fixture, and we’re No. 1 in terms of giving and receiving loving care.
13. We all love to attend wakes, whether mahjong or pusoy-dos will be a feature, right on the street and under tents and lights provided by city mayors. There’s always food whether it’s in an informal settler’s quarters or a Santuario. And when we brown-bag it, we tell the host thanks and not to bother escorting us out, as it’s a pamahiin. Yes, we have to abide by folk belief, not simply superstition.
14. We’ve retained other quaint practices, like pointing with our lips when asked for directions, telling a newbie trekker that a mountain is just a couple of cigarettes away, or counting down to an important event as only three more nights of slumber.
15. The capiz shell has provided a unique architectural and design feature (for windows, chimes and chandeliers), and given us all a nodding acquaintance with the virtues of translucence.
16. An Ateneo-La Salle basketball game is simulated tribal warfare at its fiercest, loudest, and most pulse-pounding, not to mention most glamorous. Regular duels between blood brothers!
15. Here I can still get away with a minor traffic violation — say, running on a number-coded day — simply by displaying a “PRESS” placard on my windshield, and if a cop tries to be funny, by pulling out a “MEDIA” card, and another that says I’m rather well-connected and may be able to help him out sometime. Those, plus a smile of fraternal entreaty and distinguished senior looks always work. They save time, a trip to a bank and/or a lecture at the MMDA headquarters.
16. We have the most formidable civil society in the world, with possibly the most and best-organized NGOs, so much so that we’ve been acknowledged as providing a template for all other countries aspiring to good governance, if not busybody-ness.
17. Every three years, the electoral circus hits every town, and we all merrily join the party/ies as the clowns are brought in.
18. Every week there’s an issue that spawns a welter of opinions that are ultimately reduced to received wisdom, whether regarding a small-town mayor’s offended moral values upon sight of a billboard displaying rugby hunks in briefs, or bishops caught with their hands in the sweepstakes alms jar, or punch-happy lady mayors. Urban legends are born every season, from crying ladies to state witnesses to famous escapes from toilets and virtual villas in prisons. Ahh, the scope of our jurisprudence is a film scenarist’s delight.
19. Our indie cinema, our literature, our visual and performing arts, our musical genius, our creativity are contemporarily cutting-edge, no less.
20. And the muse that is the Pinay often makes that so (see item above.) It all starts with the softest of skin, and doesn’t quite end with a naming contest that draws inspired portmanteaus referring to rejuvenated tightness.
22. We are masters of the universe when it come to bilingual punning, spins and take-offs, e.g. Bread Pitt Bakery, Elizabeth Tailoring, Caintacky Pride Chicken, Cooking ng Ina Mo, Goto Heaven, et glorious al. And our nicknames often ring bells, turn cutely echolalic, or raise Westerners’ eyebrows (Dingdong, Tingting, Dong, BJ...)
23. Entering the Guinness Book of World Records has been easy pickings — from scope of plunder to the longest row of bangus ever grilled, or the longest longaniza chain, as well as the most number of couples locking lips at a Valentine’s Day event billed as Lovapalooza.
24. Our continuing diaspora is unparalleled, leading Midlde Eastern children to learn about Mama Mary and the rosary, and remittance levels to soar to record highs. Ultimately, we could either subvert or rule the entire world.
25. Ultimately, in the final analysis, or at the end of the day as our President likes to say, among many, we are the happiest children in the planet! And our birthday parties have the sweetest spaghetti! Hip-hop-h0oh-rR@y! then! May we never grow up, except in resolving those issues of the longest day, such as contraceptives, divorce, abortion, euthanasia, prostitution, decriminalization of smoking in public places, oops!
But I can dream, can’t I? It’s a R.E.M. country, after all. Rapid Eye Movement? Rollicking Emo Mastery could be it, too.
