Looking forward to Independence Loss Day

I am lord of myself, accountable to none. —Benjamin Franklin

The price for independence is often isolation and solitude. — Steve Schmidt

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it. — US President Lyndon B. Johnson

Bangkok — Happy 113th Independence Day declaration for our Philippine republic today, June 12 — thanks to the late President Diosdado Macapagal and his history buff, the late Education Secretary Alejandro “Anding” Roces in restoring this more meaningful date compared to the old July 4 holiday set by our American colonizers when they chose to leave in 1946. Of course, the interregnum between the 1898 declaration and the 1946 liberation was caused by illegal US colonial conquest and bloody Japanese military occupation.

Aim For Independence In Economics And Foreign Policy

It is my belief that our society is still often culturally too much a colony of Spain and the United States. It is not bad to be influenced by Spanish culture or Hollywood, but I suggest we nurture pre-colonial Filipino cultures and customs the way the Thais colorfully do so for self-confidence and for fantastic tourism too. Like the Philippines, Thailand’s neighbor Vietnam was also colonized by the West, but they are not culturally too French.

Economically, I also believe we in the Philippines need to achieve more self-reliance in agriculture and other basic industries for true independence, and we need to wipe out mass poverty and social inequity. If not, we can forever somehow just be pawn or easy prey of contending superpowers dangling their economic aid or loans upon us. I believe there can be no true independence for anyone without economic strength and self-reliance!

In terms of foreign policy, I strongly believe it is best that the Philippines not be perceived as either too obsequiously pro-American due to our colonial umbilical cord or also not too subserviently pro-China because of the latter’s fast-growing economic wealth.

Why don’t we in the Philippines become like the pragmatic, smart and neutral Switzerland? Let us emulate our neighbors Thailand or Singapore — be close friends of both archrivals US and China, gain the most economically from both sides based solely on Philippine national interests alone, no need to blindly parrot US views and no need to also be rabidly pro-China.

Thai officials told me here in Bangkok that China will soon become the No. 1 source of tourists for Thailand, surpassing the West in numbers and even high-end spending power, that’s why the Thai government has even taken away visa application fees for Chinese tourists.

On the complex controversy about the Spratly Islands, why not seek economically practical win-win solutions like joint oil explorations instead of headline-making political bombasts? Look at our pragmatic neighbor Taiwan, technically still at war with mainland China, but Taiwan President Ma Ying Jou is so practical in focusing profitably more on expanding economic exchanges despite their bitter and longstanding political differences.  

Opposite Of Independence Is Not Dependence Or Dominance

It seems the trend of the modern era for young people to raise the flag of independence. It is the common and widespread belief that one has to somehow be independent to live a richer life.

Some youths, after college and after gaining full-time jobs, prefer to move into their own homes like a bachelor’s pad. Not a few married couples also prefer to buy or rent their own homes after marriage, to be away from their in-laws, or for independence.

Recently, Dragon Fireworks owner Jovenson Ong at a dinner half-jokingly commented to me and some friends that a bachelor like me will find it hard to settle down soon, “because you love and enjoy your independence too much.” That partly-true observation struck me like a lightning bolt—is that one of the reasons bachelors like me, including the older but still very eligible President Noynoy C. Aquino, are still unmarried?

An independent lifestyle answerable to nobody seems quite enjoyable, it’s freedom in its most pure and unencumbered form! Add some modicum of economic freedom to this independence, and this lifestyle indeed seems bliss here on earth — like right now I could travel across Thailand for one week without anyone complaining. In the past, I’ve travelled in packaged tours of Europe for as long as three months or across southwest China for six weeks straight, also to Egypt, Turkey, etc.

However, this is a big “but,” I also sincerely believe that I and other unmarried persons should contemplate the blessings of happily losing our independence. The concept and lifestyle of “single blessedness” is not bad, but why not go for marriage?

No, I’m not advocating loss of independence like US statehood for the Philippines or for a personal lifestyle of dependence and subservience to others. Whether in foreign policy with USA and China or in our personal lives, I believe the opposite of independence is not dependence or dominance, the world is not a zero-sum game but can be win-win.

I believe the best and ideal marriage is not dependence or subservience to one’s wife or husband, but it is a healthy and dynamic interdependence based on love. In my observation of successful marriages, I’ve noticed stable relationships based on mutual trust and mutual respect, not of a dominant person with a clingy, overly dependent mate. Of course, I also believe in the Biblical and Christian principle that the guy is still the head of a family.

Instead of losing one’s self in marriage, I believe it should be a true partnership between persons still free to develop their own ideas, their own dreams, their own passions, their own personalities, their own vocations, and even their own personal lives. There’s no need to fear loss of independence, because what comes next should be the exciting dynamism of interdependence.

Today, I mark Philippine independence day not only by asking President Noynoy C. Aquino and other leaders to build up a sovereign, neutral and economically self-reliant Philippine republic, but also by telling myself and fellow singles like P-Noy that maybe it’s about time for us to plan our own historic and possibly more fulfilling loss of independence?

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