Doing the left thing

As the tumultuous year 2010 came to a close, The Universe decided to give me a break. First came a break from a person who mattered too much. Then came a break from work.  

Maybe I was imbalanced. Maybe I was too left-brained. Maybe I always did things single-handedly. Maybe I was too righteous.

Whatever the reason, The Universe topped the year off by breaking my right hand.

I wish there was a dramatic series of events behind this. I wish I could say that it was during a covert night operation — that while my Elite Squad was running a sting on a big drug deal, the snitch slipped up and all hell broke loose — and I broke my hand as I attempted to disarm three perpetrators and blocked a baseball bat as it swung viciously to my head.  

Combined with my Silence, I often just let people imagine I was kidnapped and tortured to reveal the secrets of playing poker for a living.

But no. My hand was broken in a standard game of basketball. A defender made a standard swipe for the ball and ended up chopping my thumb in half instead. A moment of disbelief and four thousand bucks later, my hand was wrapped in cement and I was ordered to make sure it stayed that way for the next month.

One week later I dunked my arm in a pail of water and ripped the soaking cement off. It was a new year and I refused to start it off feeling limited! My hand was freed, and I stared at the fascinatingly grotesque shape of what should have been my thumb. Yes, still broken.

As much as I could use my arm for larger gestures like Heiling to Hitler or warding off unwanted creatures in my immediate vicinity, my hand — despite four functioning fingers — was next to useless without my thumb. I couldn’t use a spoon or fork, couldn’t handle a pen, couldn’t pick up a glass... and to add to the uselessness, I had to keep my entire hand shielded from any possible contact for fear of completely ruining what was left of it.

My entire right arm, although free of the cement cast, went back in a sling. I was bound to be disarmed, it seemed, for a while longer.

I believe I was in the middle of successfully peeling a banana when the big idea came to me off-handed — from left field, if you will. I thought about how I do all the little things that I take for granted and asked myself the question: “How would I do those things from now on?” 

It wasn’t like I was going to stop eating or bathing. I was going to keep on keeping on, and I had a unique (read: forced) opportunity in my hand(s) to do everything a little differently.

 And so it was that I began the year left-handed. I ate, bathed, and played with only one hand. I was forced to sleep lying quite still, and always on my back. I dressed and undressed, tying my shoelaces with only my left hand. I learned to use the Xbox 360 with only 180, if you want to put it that way.

After 30-something years of trying to do the right thing, it was time for a different kind of New Year’s resolution: In the year Two Thousand And Eleven, I resolved to Do The Left Thing.

This was easily the most exciting New Year’s resolution I’d ever come up with. Better than the year I resolved to swear off soft drinks (that lasted a month), or the year I swore to be completely honest whenever I opened my mouth (two days), and infinitely more exciting than the year I resolved to stop cleaning my own pipe (hours). 

In the year Two Thousand And Eleven, I resolved to Do The Left Thing.

This resolution was not about some sweeping polar change of behavior. I was not making a resolution to do the opposite of what I have been doing. I was not looking to get into things I hadn’t done. Most importantly, I was not going to promise to “not do things anymore.” 

I would do what I always do, but with a left-handed twist.

 Doing The Left Thing started out with that banana, but I have since branched it out the way someone who discovers a new religious philosophy attempts to apply it to everything from relationships to scrambled eggs.

It is nothing to build a cult around — there is no huge sweeping effort to change everything about myself and the world — but I have discovered that by constantly being aware of Doing The Left Thing I am also constantly exercising my Right (irresistible pun!) to practice ALL my options.  

Doing The Left Thing is a way of reminding myself that there is always more than one way to do something properly, and that whichever way works... works!

 The Super Secret Law of the Life’s Re-Play Value: The next time you  think you’ve seen it all and tried everything, why don’t you stop and ask yourself: “WHAT IS LEFT?”

 LEFT: Use a new commute route. The transportation system is one that twists and intersects often, so why not try all the twists? Surely there is more than one way to get to where we are going! If we haven’t yet felt this as a reality in our lives, well then it’s time we discovered it. I regularly took cabs, so I switched to buses. For my usual bus routes, I have taken to getting off several stops sooner at an MRT station and taking it from there. And when I drive to my destination, I drive through a few side roads that have always been there: roads less traveled, just waiting to be taken.   

I am certainly not going to beat traffic this way, but I am not going to complain about how much harder my life will be either. In fact, I welcome traffic! The heavier the traffic, the more likely I am able to finish the movie being played on the bus! 

Doing The Left Thing means I have to be unafraid of a little thing called Inconvenience. I dare to allow my eyes to rest on the sight of new people and places. I dare to face the opportunity to touch new lives and be in new situations. If anything, all these things make me get up earlier in the morning.

 LEFT: Get up an hour earlier. It’s not as great a demand as I thought it would be — I just pretend I shifted to Daylight Savings Time and give myself no other choice. My sister always has her clock set 30 minutes advanced, and I know we all know someone (if not ourselves) who does tricks like these just so we can come to terms with this uncooperative thing called time.  

Time is actually extremely cooperative. Just by getting up an hour earlier, my physical and mental health stands to benefit. Earlier means more time. More time means less stress. And don’t even get me started about the beautiful quiet of the earlier morning and the wonderful warmth of the rising sun on my skin!  

Fewer pesky people getting in my way! I can get to work earlier! I can get more done before lunch! I can take an early lunch! I can now eat in places that were previously already full when I attempted to dine there!

 LEFT: Eat at the restaurants next to the ones I usually eat in. I may as well find out why they are still open after all these years despite the fact that I almost never patronized their underappreciated fare (Crispy Fried Cardboard Boxes, yum!). And if I decide I really won’t like it there, that’s fine, I can knowingly return to my favorite restaurant — but order the beef instead of chicken.  

I can try the strawberry shake for once, and give the green mango shake I have had every day for the past week a much-welcomed break. I can substitute bread or potatoes for rice. No, wait, I can be un-Pinoy and eat a whole meal without rice! I might find myself with more energy than usual. I might end up walking more...

LEFT: Walk, even when I can ride. Maybe I am helping the economy by taking 50-meter taxi rides, and by leaving one parking building for another, but think of what I can do for the shoe industry if I wear out my soles a little faster! How about I breathe the air of my city without it being filtered by air conditioning? What say I stop hiding behind metal doors and glass windows? I can use my entire body to feel where I am!

 LEFT: Cross the street one block earlier than usual. I remember walking home from the laundromat — a three-block journey — and realizing that there was another laundromat practically right across where I lived. I had never seen it before because I had never given myself a chance to walk on that side of the street! On that same side of the street, I was missing out on three blocks worth of fresh fruit, cheap hats, fake sunglasses, and a top-notch mami joint.

 LEFT: Change the channels. The radio knob might be welded to the same station that it was on when the car first shipped out of Korea. (Oh, wait, if you still have a car with a radio that tunes with knobs, let me just say “Hi, Grandpa, can you tell me more stories about the Japanese occupation…?”)

I’d like to remember what the other radio stations play. I also need to change the CDs in the car — after all, it’s a six-disc changer that is owned by a man who has several hundred to choose from! I need to change the songs on my zero-gigabyte-older-than-Moses iPod. Then I’d like to wear the left earphone on my right ear to find out what that sounds like.

 LEFT: Work in some less popular synonyms into my vocabulary. For example, instead of just saying “Hello!” we can try answering the phone by exclaiming “Salutations!” …And then pause for a second to wait for the emptying click on the other end of the line that will often follow.

 LEFT: Express myself in Tagalog! I think in English, but I am supposed to speak two languages fluently. I am wasting the potential of at least 50,000 words! Ito ay isang napakadakilang kakulangan!

 SO MANY THINGS ARE LEFT! Approach people, instead of just waving to them and shouting out their name in public. Call, instead of texting. Write letters by hand, in lieu of printing and e-mailing. Talk a little lower. Walk a little slower.

 Sock, shoe, sock, shoe? Try sock, sock, shoe, shoe. Sleep with your head at the other end of the bed. The next time you pick up a book, give your favorite seat a rest and try out a new reading corner.

 Life is supposed to be an adventure! The inescapable fact that life is filled with things that we have to do over and over is NO EXCUSE to turn this adventure into a routine.

 You don’t have to turn the Shirt of Your Self inside-out, just wear it differently. You don’t have to leave your boyfriend, just kiss him in other places. You don’t have to go bungee jumping, just be a little more creative and adventurous whenever you have the opportunity.

 Just know that no matter what you do or how you choose to do it, this Universe is designed so that everything turns out All Right, so do not ever be afraid to Do The Left Thing!