An OFW is worried his wife would sabotage his contract

Dear Nanay,

I am an OFW who is on vacation now in the Philippines. I’ve been away for a long time and I do not love my wife anymore because of so many reasons. She comes from a well-to-do family and I am from a poor family who has been trying to move up until now. There is no other woman in my life. I am just happy the way I am taking care of myself, my parents and our children.

Nanay, I came back because I wanted to see my children. I now live with my parents and not in our house with my wife. My wife and her family have been asking me for an annulment but I have not said yes. They are threatening that they will have my papers at the OWWA put on hold. I do not know what to do. Does the IWWS have the right to put my papers on hold? What grounds do they have?   — Arnel

Dear Arnel,

I do not know what grounds your wife or her family will cite in an attempt to put your papers at the OWWA on hold.  But I think you should take this very seriously as your financial future and that of your family may depend on it. 

I think the best thing you can do is to talk to a lawyer who is knowledgeable in these matters.  Or perhaps you can talk to the OWWA and ask them about grounds your papers may be put on hold by your wife and her family. Explain to them your situation and ask them if your papers can indeed be held.  They would be in a better position to know.

Regardless of whether or not they have grounds, I am hoping that the situation does not get serious enough to have to come to that. Sana naman maayos na yung problema ninyo (I hope your problem can be fixed). Maybe you should think of what it is that you really want and why you do not want to grant the annulment. You do not love your wife.  You do not want to live with her.  It sounds like you do not even want to be married to her.  I am always the first one to say that once you are married you should do everything you can to save your marriage for yourselves and for your children.  But I also think that there comes a time when maybe it is time to part ways.  If not through an annulment, then perhaps through legal separation.

So think about it. Why don’t you want to separate?  What do you really want from your wife and for yourself?  When you find those answers, then I think you can start moving towards a direction that will be acceptable to both of you. That direction may be towards reconciliation or towards separation. But hopefully it will be a direction that will be more comfortable for you, your wife and your children than where you are today.

Sincerely,

Nanay

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Don’t confront a ‘boy friend’

Dear Nanay,

I read your advice to “I Have A Boy Friend” and you are so correct.  I just want to share that my best friend was told by someone else that her “boy friend” was in love with her. At first she didn’t do anything, but she thought about it every day and finally she confronted him. And that is where all their problems started.  Their relationship became very complicated and he was denying that he was in love with her.  I think napahiya lang siya (she was embarrassed). But whatever the reality is, to make a long story short, they are not friends anymore.

So, I agree with you that the girl should be very, very careful with what she says or does.  And she has to be very careful with how she acts because her actions may speak louder than words.  And most of all, she has to be careful that her “boy friend” does not get embarrassed because that will surely be the beginning of the end.                                             — Shirley