Am I a bad parent?

DEAR NANAY,

My three boys are three, five and seven years old. As you can imagine our house is very much like a zoo and I have such a hard time disciplining and controlling them. Since I know you have successfully raised children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren, I want to know what your secret is to raising happy and successful kids. I often find myself thinking I am such a bad parent because I can’t control them.

— Menchie

DEAR MENCHIE,

As many parents and children as there are in the world, there are also that many parenting styles. Walang magkapareho (no styles are the same). What you have to do is to really find something that works for you, your children and your family.

I think when it comes to parenting, there are many “guidelines.” There are many books. But there are no golden rules. The only one I can think of is for you to love your children unconditionally. After that just follow your instincts and try to be the best parent you can be. Follow your heart and your conscience and you will see that you are probably a better parent than you give yourself credit for.

Sincerely,

NANAY

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How often should we change our christmas tree?

DEAR NANAY,

I noticed that Christmas must really be around the corner because even your letter writers are starting to ask you questions about the holidays.

I also have a question about the upcoming holidays but this one is about our Christmas tree. We have had our tree for five years and I wanted to change it and the decoration. But my husband doesn’t really care and says “pwede na iyan!”

How often do you think we should change our tree?

— CHRIS

DEAR CHRIS,

The Christmas tree is one of those things that is very personal to each person or each family. There are some families where they make a tradition out of decorating the tree and the tree is the central feature of the house for the holidays. On the other hand, there are families who do not really care much and they just put up a tree para lang meron (just so they have one). I think most people are somewhere in the middle.

When to change your tree might be a question of how much budget you have. Assuming you have the budget, I do not think there is anything wrong with changing your tree every few years. If you do not have the budget to replace everything, what you can do is to keep the tree and just change the decor. Magiging parang bago na rin iyon (It will be just like new). The other thing you can do is to just change some of the decor and reuse the others. If you change some of your key pieces, that might be enough for your tree to look completely new.

How much you spend or how many times you change your tree is not as important as the fact that you and your family should enjoy your Christmas tree. Dapat natutuwa ka (you should be happy) every time you see it. If it brings you and your family joy, then that should be more than enough.

Sincerely,

NANAY