'Awit ng barkada'

We planned the event three weeks earlier and we were glad we did. It was the respite that we all needed after the tragic Quirino Grandstand massacre. We all seriously needed the break, even just to get away for a while from the madness that the crisis had inflicted on the nation.

Eight original APO members from high school (Sonny Santiago, Gus Cosio, Tato Garcia, Butch Dans, Danny Javier, Boboy Garovillo, Lito de Joya and myself) decided to take advantage of the long National Heroes’ Day weekend and get together in Tagaytay. With our wives and a common friend Lanelle Abueva, we all bunked in the homes of two members who have weekend residences there.

It was something we were doing as a group for the first time going out of town with this many of us in attendance, bringing our wives along and even staying overnight. And it was just great!

High school friends are, quite simply, the most enjoyable companions one can have especially at this age. For one, we were part of each others’ wonder years when we experienced our primal moments like first love, first guitar, first kiss, first beer, the transformation of our bodies and the awkwardness and insecurities that accompanied the ugly duckling stages we all went through in puberty.

Looking back some 41 years later is sweet and wonderful because we long ago processed all the teenage angst that made us so self-absorbed and perennially “problematic.”

We are all in our late 50s now with grown-up children. Some of us even have grandchildren already. All our impetuousness and adolescent concerns are so charmingly remote, and even irrelevant, except as material for teasing and ribbing. And what a great time we had reliving all those precious moments.

Memory is a wondrous thing. What’s amazing is, even when you have been out of high school for 41 years, you realize how easy it is to get back the old feelings especially the good ones. For the most part, the bad feelings, words uttered and actions done which aroused guilt and shame and made us feel bad, have been processed and defanged by time. Whatever residue is left now seems insignificant and benign. What seemed like big issues, fights or ill feelings then have metamorphosed into petty and funny memories. In a way, one might say that much of the conflict we had was unavoidable and even necessary, a part of growing up together and finding our place in our little circle.

On the other hand, the good feelings, sanded and polished by time, memory and maturity, are more golden than ever, and the sweet remembrances bring a twinkle to the eye and a lightness of spirit. And all who remember them are blessed.

At one point, I took out my guitar and started playing some of the songs we loved to sing when we would hang out in the classroom during lunch break. As everyone sang along, the lyrics became mnemonic devices that brought to the fore old anecdotes, stories, even mind-sets that had been part of our shared past. From where we are today, some of the songs have definitely changed meaning. Where, once, the lyrics of some tunes seemed way cool, they now sounded sophomoric and juvenile. But there were also songs that were strikingly beautiful and defining then that continue to define us now. Much of it was Beatles’ music. The passage of time has imbued those songs with even greater intensity.

It must have been quite a revelation to our wives seeing us all seated around a table just exchanging stories and opinions with the greatest of candor, ease and casualness. I imagined them realizing that these guys are the people who know their husbands as much, or maybe even more, than they do.

On the first night, we talked, sang, laughed and reminisced deep into night and early morning. The next day, as the women went shopping, we lounged around the sala and just talked for about four hours. Not too strangely, even when the conversation went through a whole range of topics, it always returned to the one issue that has remained as intensely interesting to us today as it did in high school sex! We thought that was funny, but it only proved that we are forever high school boys trapped in our now 50-something bodies and lives.

Someone once remarked that friends are the siblings God forgot to give us. For some people, friends are even more valuable than family. In my case, I have been lucky to have friends who can sit with my family and everyone at the table is good with that.

Dr. Tony Dans, an eminent Atenean and a good friend, once pointed out in a high school commencement speech that high school classmates are our friends for life. You will find that they will be your lawyers, doctors, business partners, etc., when you grow up. When you go abroad, you will most likely stay in their homes, and vice versa. They are the people you will trust and entrust your life and fortunes with.

Some people say that time spent in high school counts as the best days of anyone’s life. I disagree. Last weekend, I learned that some of the best times of life will be spent years after high school when, wizened by experience and mellowed by age, we can truly, genuinely appreciate and accept our barkada and yes, even ourselves warts and all.

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I will be holding three workshops. Two are in Cebu and one is at The Fort.

1) “Creative for Life Workshop” (one-day run) is a cutting-edge course to permanently awaken your creativity. It will be held this Sept. 17 (Friday) 8:30 a.m. – 6:30 p.m. at the Grand Convention Center of Cebu. Registration fee is P1,000 (non-refundable). Workshop fee is P4,000 inclusive of handouts, snacks and lunch.

2) “Basic Photography Workshop (The Second Run)” on Sept. 18 (Saturday) from 1 p.m. – 7 p.m. at Mountain View Nature Park. Registration fee is P1,000 (non-refundable). Workshop fee is P4,000 inclusive of handouts, snacks, shuttle back and forth from JY Square. Call (032) 415-8056 or cell number 0909-1112111. Or write me at emailjimp@gmail.com for reservations or queries.

3) “Creative For Life workshop” at the Fort (six session run). Sept 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 27 at 7 to 9 p.m. Venue is at Meridian International College, 1030 Campus Ave., 2F CIP Bldg, McKinley Hill, Fort Bonifacio. Call 223-6468/ 426-5375. Also call 0916-8554303 and ask for Ollie or write me at emailjimp@gmail.com for inquiries.