GG 2.0: The future of cheese
Whether its Blair’s prissy hairbands, Nate’s bi-curious hairdo or Chuck’s so-gay-he’s-straight wardrobe…the brats are back enthralling adults and pre-teens alike. We’re all soooo over (channel Blair’s simultaneous eye-rolling and scoff) why Gossip Girl is or is not the zeitgeist or why we love it for all the immoral folly it embraces; it’s much more important now to see why we must adore GG 2.0. Now that the whole coma-inducing “frenemy” slant is over, GG 2.0 reveals a more savage landscape where Nate is no longer his father’s narc and is now on the verge of becoming Blair’s father (?). (Belated spoiler alert; sorry.)
It’s become the grilled cheese of primetime TV, and just like Janet Jackson we can’t get enough of it. TV connoisseurs feared the future of GG after the finale left a divided continent of thought: Was the pesticidal love affair of Chuck and Blair enough to keep the excitement going? Will the uninspired lovefest of Dan and Serena take a turn toward the pervy? Will Baby J finally make it to the steps?
Our innocence about golden TV shows was shattered when Lost decided to get all convoluted and, well, lost. It’s hard to get attached these days. It’s so easy to fall in love with a show only for it to become a wet blanket of disappointment the following season. I mean, I didn’t leave my house for a week watching the first season of Lost, only for them to spend four more years playing tag with the others.
This is what I fear for my beloved GG. What if this Chuck and Blair thing gets old? What other aspect of GG will I have left to hold on to? Dan and Serena’s relationship filled with stupid questions and even more insipid insecurities is the “inspiration” of my emboygo. I just can’t stand watching them as they coo/bicker at each other with Serena’s blubbery “I’m thorrie” voice and Dan’s cocky “I’m the moral compass” tenor. Chuck and Blair are bound to lose reasons to hate each other, unless they come up with something genius. I know a thing or two about tension: played far too long, it becomes a pain through and through. I also worry about the creators; they were, after all, the same people from the ill-fated The O.C. who thought killing off Mischa Barton in the cheesiest car accident in primetime TV ever would bring the ratings up. I do hope that they have a better plan here.
Well, I must admit I’m intrigued by Baby J’s not-so-little steps into stardom while hanging on to her main gays as social glue. She’s the only one with something real happening to herself. And yes, she’s still grounded by her father, I think.
I feared many things as I watched the first episode of GG 2.0. Nate and Dan suddenly became edgy and supposedly are trying to fool us into believing that they’re baaaaaaad. Vitamin Water has more acting potential than Nate and his bangs. Chuck and Blair were kind of overdoing it (no, not them!). Serena was looking horsier than ever. No! No! No! Thank heavens suicidal Eric is now getting a meatier role as Chuck’s P.I. than Serena’s charity case and Lily’s social contraband. Everyone loves a misfit.
I must admit the over-the-top GG 2.0 has its merits — such as pretending you’re from Princeton to look poor and ordinary being a classic; Tinsley Mortimer finally revealing her sellout self; The Great Gatsby look enhanced by a soft-focus lens revealing everyone’s inner uggles. Nothing like posturing for disaster.
This is what I like about GG. It’s a complete fantasy. From the ever-changing school outfits, the casual indifference to the legal drinking age limit (now subtly corrected by the presence of vitamin water), to the O.T.T. parties (which always seem lame, somehow) and its direct defiance of the source book itself — nothing about the show is meant to touch the heart. We’re supposed to assume prostitution (gasp), manipulation and lying as a part of life or at least in the hour that we’re drowning in Upper Eastsider Land.
The soap as we know it from the ‘80s is back. We didn’t learn any lessons in life (I fear not) from Dynasty. GG is vulgar, naughty and acidic to the soul. I pray you learn now — especially you young fans — the only thing you should copy are the outfits. If taken in that context, GG 2.0 promises to be a steroid-filled dramedy that will entertain us through the holiday season.
After all, it has the charm to make jaded women into giggly, young girls again.
