Confessions of a showbiz climber
A few years ago my dream sort of came true. It was the 50th anniversary of ABS-CBN and it was an event of epic proportions. I had a gown and a fabulous date, my good friend Rhett Eala. The red carpet was the real deal, almost a kilometer long, long enough to say hi to “fans” and pose for photos. I couldn’t wait. I would finally see Claudine Barretto, my heroine and all-time tear-jerking favorite.
So Rhett, my best friend Wendy and I worked the red carpet only to be greeted by queries from bystanders: “Sino ba kayo?” I continued to wave. I didn’t care; in my deluded mind I was a star. Wendy just walked briskly out of there. Rhett started telling people that we were new sexy stars (Hello?) named Wendy Santos and Camille Lopez. People actually started asking me for autographs. I loved Rhett, the red carpet experience was complete, though of course lacking one major thing — the fact that I was no star, especially not a sexy star.
After that it was like I was a kid in a candy store.
Echo! Diether! Marvin! Kristine! Jolina! CLAUDINE! I was dizzy and I went ahead against my better judgment to not only introduce myself to Claudine but to hug her and to tell her I loved her. Rhett was about to disown me at that moment but I didn’t care. It was Claudine! Wendy had long disowned me at the red carpet when I was signing autographs.
That night was perfect. I kept asking my friend JM Rodriguez to introduce me to everyone. I tried to stay cool; after all, only Claudine could make me buck wild!
After knocking back a few, however, I started telling every actor and actress that I loved them even if I really didn’t have a clue what they’ve done.
After that I had many more brushes with fame. Some actually became friends. I was beside myself. I befriended Jericho Rosales during our Pepsi campaign with my other BFF Amanda Griffin. I boasted to my bodyguard all the things
Then some became real friends, like Ruffa G. Throughout her being single and married life and now entering another phase in her life, she has been the best at keeping in touch. I swear. I love her birthdays — it’s a showbiz orgy. My neck always ends up hurting from looking around. My other friends pretend to be too cool to care. I don’t, though; I try to stand next to every random action star in line at the buffet. Some don’t even know they’re famous, like my friend Mylene Dizon, who is so down to earth she makes me feel like crap.
My friends think I’m bizarre for being so fascinated with people in the biz. Although some are scary. Some have tried to hit on me when they were very, very, very drunk. Believe me, they were so not cute; they were the type to run for governor or senator and have a phalanx of goons. One actually asked me if my name was really Celine Lopez. He thought it was a screen name. Screen names for the real world only happen when you’re in the witness protection program.
I once had a fantasy of having a showbiz boyfriend. After expressing my latest ambition to my father, he threatened to cut me off. I reminded him that he already had. He started ranting how most young actors are baby makers, he’d seen too much of it on The Buzz.
However, that fantasy didn’t last long. First of all, I had no showbiz suitor. I get too giddy and weird around them. So eff that, right?
Although life with the stars ain’t all that hot, either.
For example, I refuse to do shoots with actors or actresses unless the company that supports them directly arranges the shoot. Once an actress made me wait for six hours; I had both lunch and dinner before she showed up. She didn’t even apologize. I know they’re busy and shit, but is “Sorry” so hard to say?
Believe me, I’m a Time Nazi. I proceeded to make her look really ugly for the shoot.
Another one wasn’t even a star or a starlet; she was one of those in the industry who still had to build a career. She once offended me by saying curtly, “Don’t make me look like a slut.” I was taken aback since me and my friend carefully redesigned the clothes for the show. She whined and complained but I was too busy with the other people to even tell her off. After that, we had real fun after party and she came up to me and asked, “Are you drunk na? Why aren’t you dancing? Dance with me.” I finally told her to shut up. I proceeded to see her on a cover of a magazine looking quite the slut. I must say, she looked mighty fine but her good girl act annoyed me. As Manolo Blahnik says, sluts are the best people to be friends with. So if you are one, embrace it. All these “good girl” types eventually went to hell anyway — Judy Garland and Doris Day, for example.
Another weird thing I notice about peeps in the biz, some of them deny having showbiz friends. I asked some, thinking they might know Claudine, and they say they don’t hang out with showbiz people. That’s like me saying I’m not friends with Pauline Suaco of Preview or Jenni Ep or Tim. So weird. If I was in showbiz I’d eff all my friends and be Claudine’s Kim Kardasian or Kimberly Stewart. Kidding.
Another group was a bunch of actresses and every one of them wanted to be in the center. They had their managers with them and all of them were Lady Macbeths.
They were pressuring me to put their “alaga” in the center. I lost my shit and put the least known and quietest actress in the center. The whole situation was very Macbeth-ish.
Aside from that, it’s always a trip to meet someone who is famous beyond words. It’s even better when you meet them drunk! If only The Buzz could hear what they had to say, especially when freed from their Lady Macbeths!
As a child it was a treat every time I went to ABS-CBN; I saw at least one or two actors! Every Sunday I saw the Sharon Cuneta Show live and got to meet her backstage. Every time I see KC I tell her that her mom’s the bomb! When I worked in the news department I spent my breaks in the talent center pretending to look for JM.
It’s been said on The Sopranos that there are two industries that never go down even in a recession: mafia business and show business. As Kuya Germs says, “That’s entertainment!”
