My cheeks were flushed, and I was trying to contain the emotional diarrhea that was loosely manifesting within me. No, I didn’t say this to my boyfriend, not even to my ever-critical mother nor to my nonchalant father. I said this to the saleslady of a furniture store who told me, at that very moment, after an hour’s worth of glitches, price games and finally saying I could not take home the Patricia Urquiola tables I had bought (yes, bought, at a phantom 25-percent discount, which led to the debacle). When I arrived, she droned on and on how everything on the floor was a quarter off to begin with (sounded funny to me) and any extra discount would only be 10 percent, even after I was assured of a 25-percent discount. I paid with a credit card and was told only after I signed the invoice that I couldn’t get the discount. When I asked if I could pay with a check she said it would take a week before I could take home my tables. By then it became more about the principle than the discount. I came in and bought the damn tables under the impression that I would get a discount and that I could take them home. I get attached to material things easily, okay? Never been Zen, never will be.
Welcome to retail Manila. Why is the shaft so prevalent in our daily relationship with the world of commerce? That outburst was perhaps the melting point of a month filled with shaft after shaft after shaft! Is there a Better Business Bureau out there? Of course, my rather dramatic tantrum was also deeply embarrassing and regrettable. I was acting like I had rabies.
I was moving into my new apartment and that’s where the madness began. From the paint color that made my bedroom look like a fastfood restroom (I swear it looked caramel on the swatch) to stalking suppliers to buying designer furniture with matching designer attitudes, a lobotomy was my only hope. My inner Naomi Campbell was unleashed (sans cell phone hurling, thank God). I would be in the middle of the majestic beaches of Palau and still spinning from a settee that was a month delayed. I would be roaming the streets of Tokyo only to find out my hand-painted wallpaper had mottled. Delilah deluxe.
Now that I’ve settled and sworn to myself to stay where I am for at least the next thee years and have vowed not to redecorate again for at least another six months, I am much calmer but that doesn’t mean the shafting has ended. I mean, you watch a movie in the cinema now and part of the fun is watching the trailers. After paying P150, instead of Spiderman previews we get that vintage termite ad that I used to see on RPN-9 as a child and loads of other ads. I paid to watch the movie plus previews, I did not pay to see these ads! Shaft, shaft, shaft. Then, if you watch the last show, it suddenly gets hotter 30 minutes before the movie ends because they turned the air conditioner off. I know we’re Third World, but this is ridiculous. How very "inconvenient truth" of them.
I know I need some form of anger management. If there’s something to be learned about Alec Baldwin’s tirade at his 11-year old child, it’s that we should not surrender to the tender teases of Delilah. Keep your cool and just cry your heart out in the ladies’ room.
It’s just that it’s so easy to lose it here. No one seems to care about your business. It’s very one-sided, every frustrating episode is followed with a hollow apology and no solution. Even when I took home the Urquiola tables, there was no sense of the retail rush that usually follows after buying something you actually need and love (as opposed to buyer’s remorse where you buy things you don’t actually need). I felt raped. And stupid. Two things good retailers must never make their customers feel.
Plus, I don’t get why people seem to respond to insanity. I have tried countless times in customer service-related issues to be calm and even sweet.
After all, you’re supposed to attract more bees with honey than vinegar, right? Why does it seem, then, that the only time people respond is when you start making a fool of yourself and go ballistic? This has happened so many times to me  from my electricity problems, to cell phone issues to furniture issues.
It’s a mad, mad world out there. And the good businesses out there have all of us on hold!