Locally, a lot of catchphrases are due for retirement. To cheerily ring in the New Year, and in an effort to "clean house," I’ve compiled some of those Filipino expressions that have just got to go. Some of them are Tagalog, some Taglish, some English. All have overstayed their welcome. That’s right: your visa is expired, guys. Don’t call your lawyer. Don’t wait for an appeal. Just GO.
Ek ek: Yes, we’ve heard this one a lot as a kind of all-purpose space filler in conversation. It sounds like someone coughing up a fur ball. Meaning "et cetera" or "whatever" (yet another word on the death list), ek ek shares some qualities with "chuva."
Astig: One of many sly Tagalog inversions, in this case of tigas, this is jolog-speak meaning tough or cool. It’s neither.
Joke-joke-joke: Sometimes trotted out as "joke lang" or "joke only," this phrase reflects the joker’s inability to properly tell a joke. If you have to explain that you’re kidding, it’s not funny.
Anyways: Often used by local public speakers as a self-conscious pause, or during a lull while the speaker gathers his or her thoughts after a joke has bombed, it’s time to draw the curtain down on this colloquial, folksy adaptation of "Anyway."
Exagg: Short for "exaggeration," it’s usually said in exasperation when someone has told you, for the nth time, how long they had to wait in line at Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. See "over."
Over: Can apply to overacting, overdoing, or anything that is sobra-sobra naman.
Pasaway: Once used to suggest a hindrance, now it is trotted out to suggest something or someone is naughty or mischievous.
Ma at pa: Short for malay ko (I don’t know) and pakialam ko (I don’t care), this phrase makes periodic reappearances among the time-constrained Pinoygentsia. Time to give it a rest.
Secret: The truly annoying singsong response (usually uttered coyly) to the question, "Where did you buy that?"
Correct: Pronounced "Kor-ECK," this is usually barked in an insistent tone to signify earnest agreement, as though one were an imperious pedagogue or a German rocket scientist confirming an abstruse physics formula. It sounds more like a parrot with Tourette’s syndrome.
Peg: In English, it’s an advertising term that has somehow crept into many other local creative fields, including directing and even fine art. "What was your peg for this commercial?" simply means whom did you rip off visually or conceptually.
Me: A cute perversion of the reflexive ako, substituting "me" makes the average Filipino sound like a Canuck fur trapper. "Kain na me," "Tulog na me" and "Alis na me " (I’m going) takes the reflexive tendency too far. One editor used "Alis na me" on another editor; the latter replied incredulously, "Alis na you?"
The metro: Mostly used by the younger set to refer to Metro Manila, it has the benefit of being shorter, but it’s no clearer than the longer version. Certainly, we need to add the "Metro" to distinguish the larger urban area from the city of Manila, but "the metro" seems to arise from the laziness of youth (fewer syllables) rather than any sincere aim for clarity. Plus, this ain’t Paris.
Mother: Pronounced "muth-AIR!" this is gayspeak used in supplication to an older, wiser being in one’s circle (i.e. a fag hag). Or maybe it’s just a cry for a security blanket.
MOMOL: Acronym for "Make out, make out lang," it is usually applied to relationships that have not yet advanced to the adult stage of abandoning cutesy acronyms.
Hello, Garci: As in, "We had a ‘Hello, Garci’ moment." Funny only when used by a phantom voice on a wiretapped phone conversation, it lost all of its punchline power over the course of 2006.
And, the number one phrase that has led to involuntary giggles whenever unsuspecting foreigners pick up a local newspaper headline is…
Con-Ass: Short for "constituent assembly," it was last year’s "Cha-cha." Whenever politicians adopt a short-form phrase or abbreviation, it’s usually to avoid proper pronunciation, and thus sidestep the spectacle of a full-grown adult dribbling his words and syllables like a two-year-old asking for Promil. So we are force-fed yet another colorful phrase (it sounds like a gay porn version of Con Air) designed to hoodwink and soft-soap the public yet again. Time to pull the plug on this one.
Sorry if some of these expressions are still in active circulation among the Pinoygentsia. This is only a wish list, after all. Joke lang. Anyways…