According to Nia Vardalos, the movie would not have materialized had she allowed her father to have his way. At 20, Nia told her dad, "Dad, I want to be an actress." She recalls, "He ignored me, so I said it again. He said, ‘I heard you, a teacher.’" Good thing Mom was there. Motherly intervention saved the day for Nia – and changed her life forever.
Nia confesses that her mom’s open-mindedness has rubbed off on her. "My mom raised me to be fearless," she says. "So I took a chance and then it worked. If it hadn’t worked, at least I took the chance."
This is just one of the many fat, mommy moments captured in the book Life is Like a Box of Chocolates ... and other Motherly Wisdom from the Movies (available at Powerbooks, where there’s a whole shelf of mommy books in celebration of Mother’s Day) by New York Times best-selling author Joe Garner. The book comes with a DVD containing those poignant scenes from the movies that best illustrate motherly love and more.
Indeed, many an unforgettable performance of motherhood has been celebrated on the silver screen. Talk about art imitating life. "Everyone of these stories will remind mothers of just how precious a gift they are," says Garner.
Garner’s book is a multimedia tribute to moms who, says Garner, are "required to perform an astounding number of roles: protector, nurturer, adviser. And with life’s unexpected adversities, mothers are expected to possess an astounding array of qualities: forgiveness, acceptance, trust, sacrifice, and – especially – unconditional love."
Like the unconditional love of Mama Gump who tells her son Forrest, who has a subnormal IQ of 75, "Remember what I told you, Forrest, you’re no different than anybody else. Did you hear what I said, Forrest, you’re the same as everybody else. You are no different."
And hear this: With Mama Gump’s unflinching support, Forrest proved he was different, nay, special, as he rose to fame and sprinted away with the love and admiration of his countrymen who rooted for him every kilometer of the way, "Run, Forrest, run!"
But according to Rusty Dennis (played by Cher) in the 1985 movie Mask, "Unconditional love is not a conscious, pragmatic choice. It is simply the true language of a mother’s heart."
Mask is the heartwrenching true life story of Rocky Dennis who was born with distorted facial features and an enlarged head. But the bond between mother and son knew no bounds. On his first day at his new school, Rocky’s mom Rusty cheers him on as she reminds him, "It takes time for people to get to like each other. I don’t know why you think it should be any different with you ... You’re more beautiful on the inside than most people. Anybody who can’t see that–."
Now, this mom is really something else. As ferocious as a mother lion protecting her cubs, an enraged and frustrated Aurora Greenway (played by the equally feisty Shirley MacLaine) hollers to the nurses attending to her cancer-stricken daughter Emma (Debra Winger) in the endearing 1983 multi-Oscar winner Terms of Endearment, "It’s time for her shot. Do you understand? Do something! All she has to do is hold on until 10, and it’s past 10. My daughter’s in pain. Give her the shot. Do you understand me? Give my daughter the shot!"
Such a powerful, unforgettable movie moment, it won for Shirley MacLaine the Best Actress Oscar that year.
Writes Garner, "From the beginning of the species, it has been a mother’s primary, hard-wired instinct to protect her children, no matter what the cost. What makes it so complicated and contrary to human nature is the knowledge that the best way to protect a child is to let that child experience life for itself. It means that being an effective mother is a difficult high-wire act, balancing instinct with reason to produce mothering that’s not smothering." It means loving and letting go – and letting your children dream their own dreams.
Motherhood is one role another multi-awarded actress, Meryl Streep, would have been content to play in real life. This she displays to the hilt in the movie One True Thing, where she plays the one true mom Kate Gulden to daughter Ellen (Renee Zellweger). Reaping success outside the home, the career-driven Ellen looks down on her mother who’s a plain housewife and thinks little of her contribution to the home. But of course, her mom proves that housewives are anything but plain. She’s forced to take care of her mother when the latter is diagnosed with terminal cancer. At first, she resists as it would jeopardize her flourishing career, but her father lashes out at her, "You’ve got a Harvard education, but where is your heart?"
As Ellen goes home to take care of her mom and they switch roles, Ellen is reconnected to her mom and becomes a more complete person.
Meryl Streep, who lobbied to play the role, shares a lesson she learned from her own mom, "My mother was and is my role model. Not precisely for what she did in her life, but for the way she’s always done everything. She always started the day singing, she loves a good joke, she has energy and verve, wit and great natural graciousness ... I think the best role models for women and girls are people who are fruitfully and confidently themselves, who bring light into the world."
Says Garner, "A mother nurtures and brings light into the world for her children. She does this not simply by bearing those children, but rather by polishing, grinding, shaping, and buffing them until they shine bright – bright as the love with which she’s filled them."
The enduring light of the home, she anxiously tells her kids to eat their vegetables so they’ll grow to be smart adults, to look to the left and look to the right when they cross the street, and to never talk to strangers. Kids always take their mothers’ advice because Mom knows best – and they know better than to cross Mom.
Mom’s piece of advice has also changed the course of history. It gave American women the right to vote when 24-year-old lawmaker Harry Burn cast his deciding ballot after receiving a letter from his mother the night before, urging him to vote in favor of ratification. Aye, aye, Mom!
Truly, mothering is a tough act to follow.