Sweet surrender
March 12, 2006 | 12:00am
The labandera messed up on the laundry instructions and permanently damaged the expensive silk shirt.
The not-exactly-cheap cutlery diminishes in number by the month.
Your friend betrays a confidence.
Your daughter traces the logo on your expensive designer bag with permanent ink.
A friend is seriously ill.
Your daughter refuses to work on her homework, does not want to clean up her mess, will not take her vitamins (all in the same hour).
You lose your favorite earrings, an antique pair you inherited form your mother’s mother.
Your favorite maid runs off with your security guard.
People you are nice to just aren’t.
People you love hurt you.
A deal you were counting on does not push through.
The movie you wanted to watch is no longer showing.
The new lotion you bought makes your skin break out in a rash.
Nope, that did not happen to me today in rapid succession. But most of them have, at different points in my life – and I actually spent time dissecting and lamenting the whys and hows. Depending on what it was, it went on for days, sometimes even months.
As I write this, another full day has come and gone, and many little things did not go my way. Nothing major, just little stuff that can chew on your sanity because they’re so silly and could have been avoided. The nice thing is I did not for one minute write off the day as a "bad day" or a "horrible day", as I admit I would have easily done so in the past. I’m really growing up, I think. Finally.
Like little bursts of sunshine that shine through an otherwise cloudy day, I am starting to realize in bits and pieces how uncomplicated and so much more enjoyable life becomes when you integrate in the daily grind the kindergarten, but quite difficult, act of surrendering to people, places, things, situations, especially those you cannot change, those you cannot even avoid to begin with. Never mind that you did not ask for them, nor did you plan for them to happen. But they still did, despite your best intentions. Even the best laid out plans are not foolproof. There are always surprises in store for us; the bad ones come with the good. It’s a package deal. Like going into a library filled with books you’ve never read, you stumble upon bad stories just as much as you most probably will good ones. But even if you cannot control everything, you can always control how you react to anything. As common sense dictates, you won’t waste precious time reading a bad book but you will delight in each chapter of a good one.
Surrendering simplifies many things, most everything actually. And by doing that, as much as I possibly can, I am learning to let go and just let God. I am also starting to elude real stress. No small feat considering that I am such a worrier, and that I can be quite meticulous, especially when it comes to things I am passionate about.
For so long, I did not realize I was like a little girl forever trying to swim the proper way but never quite learning to, crippled with fear, forever struggling to paddle to the surface to keep afloat. The harder I tried, the more I struggled. The bigger my hopes, the greater the disappointment when things did not happen the way I expected them to. All the while, the swim instructor was telling me to be light as air, paddle purposefully but softly. All the while, my mother was teaching me to coat everything I did in prayer. "Ask God to put His hand in everything you do, whether it is as mundane as looking for a parking space or getting to an appointment on time or as life-changing as finding a husband and starting a family," she said. And that was all I needed to stay buoyant. Come what may. Such simple instructions. Little did I know then that that was all I needed to ensure that I would not swallow water, sputter and stutter, get upset, worst yet, drown.
True, it did not happen overnight. But one day I just decided to stop huffing and puffing, hemming and hawing my way through life. Centering prayer has taught me that. It is an attitude, a lifestyle anchored not on folly but faith, in Someone far greater and bigger than all of life’s unwelcome twists combined. Oh, surrender can really be so sweet.
Like the best surfers do, you ride the wave. Or, in the case of kiteboarders, you go where the wind blows. Such is the elementary art of being truly happy, 365 days a year. Do not even worry about tomorrow, God is already there. Mark Twain once said, "I am an old man and have had many troubles, most of which never happened." What he said has held true for me. Countless times. I want to bang my head on the wall when I think about it now. All that worrying. And for what? Nothing.
But also, I am a young woman and have had many blessings, most of which are more than I even prayed for. Get this. The best things that happened in my life are those that I was ambiguous about, and for lack of knowing which way to go I just surrendered, most probably in frustration, and told God bahala ka na. Ha! What do you know? He took me seriously and led me to the right path. You trust your life and your circumstance to the all-knowing Guy up there. Better than you ever dreamt, more beautiful than you ever hoped it could be. Many times I have ecstatically looked heavenward and gushed, "You are so bright! How did You know I wanted this? I did not even know I wanted this? I never knew I was going to end up doing this or that, wanting this or that!"
On hindsight though, I realize that many, many years back He was already sowing the seeds that would lead me to the bigger picture He had in mind for my present and my future. I just never recognized the signs, nor the purpose, why things happened the way they did. In His time. Always in His time. Everything always falls into place. He already knew what I wanted and needed, long before I even realized it. Again I say, He is bright. And divinely providential at that.
Here is a really beautiful thought that I hang on to. Father Thomas Keating says, "God is in the present moment, no matter the content of the moment." You take a leap of faith and accept how the cookie crumbles. You rest comfortably and confidently in the thought that whatever your present moment is, He is there. And that it is exactly how He wants it to be, where He wants you to be. For now. No matter how imperfect it may seem in your eyes from where He’s looking, it is in sync with His bigger and perfect plan. What other assurance do we need?
It is liberating. As my Mom always said, "Sige lang, pagbu-ot man na sa Ginoo. Pasagdi. (Never mind, it is God’s will. So be it.)" And when you learn to let go of what you think you want, what you know you cannot have just yet, you are free. To hope for better things. To be happier. Because when you accept, you do not resist. Consequently, you do not harbor any resentment in your heart, bitterness will not find a place in your life.
Staying calm amid life’s setbacks is a gargantuan task that no man can do on his own. It is a grace from up above. I’m learning, slowly but surely, not to be too attached to the ideal situation, as I see it in my mind, as I write it out in my daily To-Do list, as my dreams for the future dictate. They may be sources of inspiration, sometimes motivation, but they no longer shape the quality of my thoughts and emotions. If I cannot make it to an appointment, if schedules don’t match, if something I was looking forward to does not push through, if I lose a favorite thing, if I realize I can never be friends again with someone I once was close to, I do my best to let it go with a light heart. Maybe it is not mine to have. Not just yet. After all, anything forced is not of the Lord.
God is in the present moment. And if only for that, I want my middle name to be "surrender." Not as a sign of defeat but a leap of faith. Only then will God be able to lead me forward to the rest of my life. Amazing how much happier one can actually be. Even more astonishing is how much you actually gain when you yield not to man, but always to God and His ways.
The labandera messed up on the laundry instructions and permanently damaged the expensive silk shirt.
The incident will teach you to be more careful the next time around.
The not-exactly-cheap cutlery diminishes in number by the month.
There are still some left to use.
Your friend betrays a confidence and stabs you at the back.
You learn a painful lesson in tolerance and trust.
Your daughter traces the logo on your expensive designer bag with permanent ink.
You learn not to be too attached to material things.
A friend is seriously ill.
Teaches you to be strong and to persevere with him/her in prayer.
Your daughter refuses to work on her homework, does not want to clean up her mess, will not take her vitamins (all in the same hour).
God is teaching you patience.
You lose your favorite earrings, an antique pair you inherited form your mother’s mother.
At least you already enjoyed using it countless times while you still had it.
Your favorite maid runs off with your security guard.
Teaches you to live and let live.
People you are nice to just aren’t.
That is just the way of the world.
People you love hurt you.
Love simplifies everything. Because you love, you forgive.
A deal you were counting on does not push through.
God’s ways are not man’s ways. He has other plans.
The movie you wanted to watch is no longer showing and you miss the deadline.
That is life teaching you not procrastinate.
The new lotion you bought makes your skin break out in a rash.
Makes you appreciate and be thankful for the ones that don’t.
Contemplative Outreach Philippines will be holding a three- day live-in Introductory to Centering Prayer Retreat on March 17, 18, and 19, at the St. Joseph Marello Retreat House in Tagaytay City. For inquiries and further information call Anna Marie at 842-0201 or Jasmin at 843-8830.
The not-exactly-cheap cutlery diminishes in number by the month.
Your friend betrays a confidence.
Your daughter traces the logo on your expensive designer bag with permanent ink.
A friend is seriously ill.
Your daughter refuses to work on her homework, does not want to clean up her mess, will not take her vitamins (all in the same hour).
You lose your favorite earrings, an antique pair you inherited form your mother’s mother.
Your favorite maid runs off with your security guard.
People you are nice to just aren’t.
People you love hurt you.
A deal you were counting on does not push through.
The movie you wanted to watch is no longer showing.
The new lotion you bought makes your skin break out in a rash.
Nope, that did not happen to me today in rapid succession. But most of them have, at different points in my life – and I actually spent time dissecting and lamenting the whys and hows. Depending on what it was, it went on for days, sometimes even months.
As I write this, another full day has come and gone, and many little things did not go my way. Nothing major, just little stuff that can chew on your sanity because they’re so silly and could have been avoided. The nice thing is I did not for one minute write off the day as a "bad day" or a "horrible day", as I admit I would have easily done so in the past. I’m really growing up, I think. Finally.
Like little bursts of sunshine that shine through an otherwise cloudy day, I am starting to realize in bits and pieces how uncomplicated and so much more enjoyable life becomes when you integrate in the daily grind the kindergarten, but quite difficult, act of surrendering to people, places, things, situations, especially those you cannot change, those you cannot even avoid to begin with. Never mind that you did not ask for them, nor did you plan for them to happen. But they still did, despite your best intentions. Even the best laid out plans are not foolproof. There are always surprises in store for us; the bad ones come with the good. It’s a package deal. Like going into a library filled with books you’ve never read, you stumble upon bad stories just as much as you most probably will good ones. But even if you cannot control everything, you can always control how you react to anything. As common sense dictates, you won’t waste precious time reading a bad book but you will delight in each chapter of a good one.
Surrendering simplifies many things, most everything actually. And by doing that, as much as I possibly can, I am learning to let go and just let God. I am also starting to elude real stress. No small feat considering that I am such a worrier, and that I can be quite meticulous, especially when it comes to things I am passionate about.
For so long, I did not realize I was like a little girl forever trying to swim the proper way but never quite learning to, crippled with fear, forever struggling to paddle to the surface to keep afloat. The harder I tried, the more I struggled. The bigger my hopes, the greater the disappointment when things did not happen the way I expected them to. All the while, the swim instructor was telling me to be light as air, paddle purposefully but softly. All the while, my mother was teaching me to coat everything I did in prayer. "Ask God to put His hand in everything you do, whether it is as mundane as looking for a parking space or getting to an appointment on time or as life-changing as finding a husband and starting a family," she said. And that was all I needed to stay buoyant. Come what may. Such simple instructions. Little did I know then that that was all I needed to ensure that I would not swallow water, sputter and stutter, get upset, worst yet, drown.
True, it did not happen overnight. But one day I just decided to stop huffing and puffing, hemming and hawing my way through life. Centering prayer has taught me that. It is an attitude, a lifestyle anchored not on folly but faith, in Someone far greater and bigger than all of life’s unwelcome twists combined. Oh, surrender can really be so sweet.
Like the best surfers do, you ride the wave. Or, in the case of kiteboarders, you go where the wind blows. Such is the elementary art of being truly happy, 365 days a year. Do not even worry about tomorrow, God is already there. Mark Twain once said, "I am an old man and have had many troubles, most of which never happened." What he said has held true for me. Countless times. I want to bang my head on the wall when I think about it now. All that worrying. And for what? Nothing.
But also, I am a young woman and have had many blessings, most of which are more than I even prayed for. Get this. The best things that happened in my life are those that I was ambiguous about, and for lack of knowing which way to go I just surrendered, most probably in frustration, and told God bahala ka na. Ha! What do you know? He took me seriously and led me to the right path. You trust your life and your circumstance to the all-knowing Guy up there. Better than you ever dreamt, more beautiful than you ever hoped it could be. Many times I have ecstatically looked heavenward and gushed, "You are so bright! How did You know I wanted this? I did not even know I wanted this? I never knew I was going to end up doing this or that, wanting this or that!"
On hindsight though, I realize that many, many years back He was already sowing the seeds that would lead me to the bigger picture He had in mind for my present and my future. I just never recognized the signs, nor the purpose, why things happened the way they did. In His time. Always in His time. Everything always falls into place. He already knew what I wanted and needed, long before I even realized it. Again I say, He is bright. And divinely providential at that.
Here is a really beautiful thought that I hang on to. Father Thomas Keating says, "God is in the present moment, no matter the content of the moment." You take a leap of faith and accept how the cookie crumbles. You rest comfortably and confidently in the thought that whatever your present moment is, He is there. And that it is exactly how He wants it to be, where He wants you to be. For now. No matter how imperfect it may seem in your eyes from where He’s looking, it is in sync with His bigger and perfect plan. What other assurance do we need?
It is liberating. As my Mom always said, "Sige lang, pagbu-ot man na sa Ginoo. Pasagdi. (Never mind, it is God’s will. So be it.)" And when you learn to let go of what you think you want, what you know you cannot have just yet, you are free. To hope for better things. To be happier. Because when you accept, you do not resist. Consequently, you do not harbor any resentment in your heart, bitterness will not find a place in your life.
Staying calm amid life’s setbacks is a gargantuan task that no man can do on his own. It is a grace from up above. I’m learning, slowly but surely, not to be too attached to the ideal situation, as I see it in my mind, as I write it out in my daily To-Do list, as my dreams for the future dictate. They may be sources of inspiration, sometimes motivation, but they no longer shape the quality of my thoughts and emotions. If I cannot make it to an appointment, if schedules don’t match, if something I was looking forward to does not push through, if I lose a favorite thing, if I realize I can never be friends again with someone I once was close to, I do my best to let it go with a light heart. Maybe it is not mine to have. Not just yet. After all, anything forced is not of the Lord.
God is in the present moment. And if only for that, I want my middle name to be "surrender." Not as a sign of defeat but a leap of faith. Only then will God be able to lead me forward to the rest of my life. Amazing how much happier one can actually be. Even more astonishing is how much you actually gain when you yield not to man, but always to God and His ways.
The labandera messed up on the laundry instructions and permanently damaged the expensive silk shirt.
The incident will teach you to be more careful the next time around.
The not-exactly-cheap cutlery diminishes in number by the month.
There are still some left to use.
Your friend betrays a confidence and stabs you at the back.
You learn a painful lesson in tolerance and trust.
Your daughter traces the logo on your expensive designer bag with permanent ink.
You learn not to be too attached to material things.
A friend is seriously ill.
Teaches you to be strong and to persevere with him/her in prayer.
Your daughter refuses to work on her homework, does not want to clean up her mess, will not take her vitamins (all in the same hour).
God is teaching you patience.
You lose your favorite earrings, an antique pair you inherited form your mother’s mother.
At least you already enjoyed using it countless times while you still had it.
Your favorite maid runs off with your security guard.
Teaches you to live and let live.
People you are nice to just aren’t.
That is just the way of the world.
People you love hurt you.
Love simplifies everything. Because you love, you forgive.
A deal you were counting on does not push through.
God’s ways are not man’s ways. He has other plans.
The movie you wanted to watch is no longer showing and you miss the deadline.
That is life teaching you not procrastinate.
The new lotion you bought makes your skin break out in a rash.
Makes you appreciate and be thankful for the ones that don’t.
BrandSpace Articles
<
>