I wrote back and told him about the farmer who came to one of Pag-Asa’s gatherings and shared how close he came to crime because the government funds due him never made it. His family was starving, but he realized a life of crime would make things worse for everyone. He knew it was not the answer. I continue to hear his voice today.
Morality is not a luxury. It is a way of life. The people in that neighborhood who feel for the lavandera and haven’t the heart to squeal on her can certainly encourage her to find something else to up her income. They can find her other clients, band together and agree to pay just a bit more, give her some food, clothing for her children, show her towards a shelter, convent or parish. There are countless ways to help. Not squealing isn’t helping her.
Selling drugs puts you right in the center of crime and opens your life – and those you love – to darkness and all the danger it brings. What if she starts dealing in your neighborhood and sells to your children?
By dealing drugs, that woman is endangering many lives, not just her own. Does putting food on the table justify that? What does she do when, years later, her grown and adequately nourished kids decide to take drugs or be active members of the underbelly of society? Thanks to her dangerous albeit well-meaning choice, she has to face the fact that she led them down that path herself. The moral debt she incurs from that decision is part of her legacy.
We cannot raise healthy children on material sustenance alone. Their moral and emotional lives weigh heavily. When you bring children into the world, you know that their physical well-being isn’t your only responsibility. Leading them towards a life of integrity and honor, no matter how difficult, is the greatest gift a parent can give.
It is not easy to take the long view when you have hungry children, but I don’t agree that crime becomes acceptable when it is committed for survival. It is understandable, certainly, but never justified. This is not to say that these people, pushed to the edge, are bad and unworthy. Of course not. They need guidance. A life of crime kills not just the body, but also the soul. That is a sure thing. Education plays a big role, of course, but so does destiny. Hardship and difficulty deliver us to the realms of soul and spirit. We can always let desperation and pain bring us down, but we can also take the more difficult path and let these experiences lift us up. Many stray but the road to change and healing is always open to those who choose to walk it.
Those who witness the descent of others – especially our less educated brothers who have taken the lower road towards survival – can find ways to help them. It isn’t easy and the extended hand is sometimes ignored and even rejected, but the effort must be made. Turning the lavandera in is not the only option. Perhaps leading her towards a safer path is a kinder one.
Crime is attractive because it seems to offer the most for so little effort, but that is all illusion. When is selling your soul justified? I asked myself this question when I read a disturbing article about women farmers who have resorted to prostitution. Even as my heart went out to them, I felt they could have turned elsewhere. I thought about their children and what this would mean to them and felt that there had to be another way. That other way is never easy, but life isn’t meant to be.
Morality has nothing to do with poverty or wealth. Being poor does not exempt anyone from striving to be a responsible human being. Neither does being rich. It is a struggle both ways. It is a path chosen in freedom. That is one of the true gifts of humanity. We can choose, no matter what our station in life, and always face our choices with dignity and strength.
A few weeks ago, someone else wrote me a letter of a similar theme. She said she wants to do what’s best for her children but corruption in government has forced her to doctor her books, to keep her little business from shutting down. Again she chided me for being too idealistic. A wealthy friend minimizes paying off government officials in the line of business. She tells me I can go ahead and save the world but she’s a businesswoman. But in my head I think yes, and a mother, too.
You are not alone in this world. Your every action ripples out, whether you know it or not. Your children sense everything. They don’t have to see that you steal, cheat and bribe. They will imbibe it. That’s why our children are our greatest teachers. You really have to live everything you want them to learn. This goes for every parent, rich or poor.
As I was sharing the story of the lavandera with a friend, she said that at a gas station along Quezon Ave., there is a little boy who sells his mother’s buchi and chicharon. He’s always clean and well-dressed, polite and respectful. My friend and her husband buy his goods and often ask him to keep the change, though they mostly have to force him to accept it as he feels he must give it back. The very image of this boy affirms me.
It is not an easy life and government and society have much to be taken to task for, but I continue to believe that many choose the more difficult path of truth and integrity because they know it is the only life worth living. It is what the Christ came and died for. It is this path that brings freedom – the very thing every human being fights for.
Most of us learn the value of morality the hard way, precisely by being on the other side as author or recipient of its brokenness. Then, knowing the damage it wreaks, we vow never to be instruments of pain and destruction again. From these deep life lessons, it becomes clear that true humanity is found in a moral life, one that is lived in truth and integrity. A moral life is a gift of love to the world. The choice has always been ours.