Sexy and swinging at 60
October 16, 2005 | 12:00am
Sixty. The number ignited with vicious honesty. I remembered our parents reaching that age and I thought, "Omigosh! They were as ancient as the renowned museums we visited together." But looking again, there were no rocking chairs, hearing aids or walking sticks in our house, and the only hint of aging was the Polident soaking solution used for dentures and bridges.
Now, it’s our turn. In the new millennium, 60 is no longer the downside of a wave, middle age, or old age. Neither is it necessarily a forecaster of how you or I should behave.
When staying alive past 50 would have been considered a "wow" moment, my peer can boast of the possibility that we can remain healthy, strong, and enjoy a more fulfilling life as we move through each decade of time – 50s, 60s, etc.
Many of us have worked hard on it. We are not careless. We don’t live on the edge. You won’t see me tandem-jumping from an airplane, driving 130 mph (on our dug-up roads?), climbing mountains or rock walls, wrestling with the sharks or eating worms on reality TV.
We gulp down vitamins in living color. To banish crankiness ("I’m out of estrogen and I have a gun"), we took HRT (hormone replacement therapy) or its equivalent and kept abreast of new drugs that can improve and/or enhance our well-being. Suzanne Somers, of the popular TV sitcom Three’s Company, even wrote a book, The Sexy Years, on the merits of bio-identical hormones as opposed to synthetic hormones to replace natural hormones when a woman reaches 50 or around that period.
Personally, I’ve long admitted that bi-focal prescription lenses are handy to wear, and yes, I am prone to mis-hearing, mis-understanding or forgetting news and stories that were told to me in a conversation or have read in print. During our out-to-impress days, that would have been unacceptable: not anymore! We laugh and roll as we guffaw, the last laugh (and the most hysterical) being on us.
My back has gone through some achy, breaky days, but I’m working vigorously to rehabilitate it, if not save what’s left of it. For this, I appreciate the availability of suitable merchandise, like a back brace, hot compress, medicated plaster and disciplines like chiropractic medicine, reflexology, tai chi, yoga, Reiki and Pilates.
We’ve learned to be more discerning, too: butter versus margarine; red meat versus fish; eight hours of uninterrupted sleep versus on-the-night prowl; staying "cool" versus "sweating the small stuff"; forgiving versus getting even; and controlling young lives versus letting go.
When it concerns sex, "Women want to have fun," said the purple-clad Red Hatters as they bond and interact with women and men who have found freedom from parenting and nurturing. To address the other meaning of the word, think of it as the glorious, shackles-removed years: no more family planning, but a guilt-free return to intimacy and romance without the risk of unwanted babies and breaking the family budget.
Children have left home to start their own families, turning us into empty nesters. (I can’t believe how much I see of me in my children. The "mother rules" acronyms I used on them are now being enforced on my bewildered grandchildren: SM = see me; OK = only kidding; NWA =not while I’m alive; IYD = in your dreams). It does not mean that you’ve stopped worrying about your children; you will always worry no matter how old they are. You have merely expanded your sphere to include those outside your circle of influence.
Think what going the nine yards can do. Others with hard luck stories can take that dream adventure or have the privilege of making a choice with you pushing, encouraging or "making" miracles for them. There’s much to do when you look over your shoulder.
Someone asked me the question, "What brings you deep into life?" Conversation, music, reading, dancing, writing, singing, and meditating. They are moments that seem to stop time for an eternity. Think how many moments like this we can create, not only for ourselves, but also for others.
There is especially the contentment, the peace one feels in looking inward, and giving weight to spiritual growth. I found one prayer that summarizes this faith:
"Lord, I entrust to you all who are close to me, to your never-failing care and love knowing that you are doing for them better things than I can pray for."
Someday, I picture a white weatherboard house with a bright and wide veranda and a luscious garden to rival the botanical gardens in Versailles, England or Victoria. It would be mortgage-free and owned collectively by my 60-something girlfriends and me.
We would sit and chat, and have diet soda and cookies until the sun sets on our faces. My grandson Gabriel calls it "Nonna’s time-out house." Not quite. In this dream house where love and friendship abound, there would be no time set for fun and merriment.
Sixty. We are not far indeed from retiring. But look again. We are still a couple of swinging steps ahead of the sheriff.
"When a man decides to love a woman for what he can get out of her, it is better to take a sexagenarian. There’s more profit and less annoyance."– Honore de Balzac
"Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you."– Andrew Rooney
On the perks of aging: "Your secrets are safe with your peer because they can’t remember them either."– Suzanne Somers
On the perks of aging: "You loathe narcissism but approve of vanity."
On the perks of aging: "Worry, if not gone altogether, no longer haunts in the middle of the night. And you are free, freer, to turn down things that bore you and spend time on matters and with people you enjoy."– Katherine Graham
On the perks of aging: "Before, if she was asked if she was my mother, she’d answer dryly, ‘Someone had to do it!’"– Erma Bombeck
At 60, you know the orangutan theory. If a person goes into a room with an orangutan and explains whatever his/her idea is, the orangutan just sits there eating his banana and at the end of the conversation, the person explaining comes out smarter. (Translation: You have friends who would make you believe you’re smarter!)
At 60, you want to be a grandmother. You hanker, you plead, you threaten, and you lament: "Please, if it doesn’t happen soon, my grandchild and I will be in diapers together."
At 60, the best kind of friend is that kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
"At class reunions, you take notes. If it looks like a lot of people aren’t going to show up for your funeral, hold it in a phone booth so it will look crowded and jam-packed." – Erma Bombeck
The wisdom of aging: My mother has given me everything but an easy act to follow.
Another perk of turning 60: You carry a privilege "senior citizen" card that entitles you to a 20 percent discount on meals and medicine, and free movie tickets in Makati City.
Now, it’s our turn. In the new millennium, 60 is no longer the downside of a wave, middle age, or old age. Neither is it necessarily a forecaster of how you or I should behave.
When staying alive past 50 would have been considered a "wow" moment, my peer can boast of the possibility that we can remain healthy, strong, and enjoy a more fulfilling life as we move through each decade of time – 50s, 60s, etc.
Many of us have worked hard on it. We are not careless. We don’t live on the edge. You won’t see me tandem-jumping from an airplane, driving 130 mph (on our dug-up roads?), climbing mountains or rock walls, wrestling with the sharks or eating worms on reality TV.
We gulp down vitamins in living color. To banish crankiness ("I’m out of estrogen and I have a gun"), we took HRT (hormone replacement therapy) or its equivalent and kept abreast of new drugs that can improve and/or enhance our well-being. Suzanne Somers, of the popular TV sitcom Three’s Company, even wrote a book, The Sexy Years, on the merits of bio-identical hormones as opposed to synthetic hormones to replace natural hormones when a woman reaches 50 or around that period.
Personally, I’ve long admitted that bi-focal prescription lenses are handy to wear, and yes, I am prone to mis-hearing, mis-understanding or forgetting news and stories that were told to me in a conversation or have read in print. During our out-to-impress days, that would have been unacceptable: not anymore! We laugh and roll as we guffaw, the last laugh (and the most hysterical) being on us.
My back has gone through some achy, breaky days, but I’m working vigorously to rehabilitate it, if not save what’s left of it. For this, I appreciate the availability of suitable merchandise, like a back brace, hot compress, medicated plaster and disciplines like chiropractic medicine, reflexology, tai chi, yoga, Reiki and Pilates.
We’ve learned to be more discerning, too: butter versus margarine; red meat versus fish; eight hours of uninterrupted sleep versus on-the-night prowl; staying "cool" versus "sweating the small stuff"; forgiving versus getting even; and controlling young lives versus letting go.
When it concerns sex, "Women want to have fun," said the purple-clad Red Hatters as they bond and interact with women and men who have found freedom from parenting and nurturing. To address the other meaning of the word, think of it as the glorious, shackles-removed years: no more family planning, but a guilt-free return to intimacy and romance without the risk of unwanted babies and breaking the family budget.
Children have left home to start their own families, turning us into empty nesters. (I can’t believe how much I see of me in my children. The "mother rules" acronyms I used on them are now being enforced on my bewildered grandchildren: SM = see me; OK = only kidding; NWA =not while I’m alive; IYD = in your dreams). It does not mean that you’ve stopped worrying about your children; you will always worry no matter how old they are. You have merely expanded your sphere to include those outside your circle of influence.
Think what going the nine yards can do. Others with hard luck stories can take that dream adventure or have the privilege of making a choice with you pushing, encouraging or "making" miracles for them. There’s much to do when you look over your shoulder.
Someone asked me the question, "What brings you deep into life?" Conversation, music, reading, dancing, writing, singing, and meditating. They are moments that seem to stop time for an eternity. Think how many moments like this we can create, not only for ourselves, but also for others.
There is especially the contentment, the peace one feels in looking inward, and giving weight to spiritual growth. I found one prayer that summarizes this faith:
"Lord, I entrust to you all who are close to me, to your never-failing care and love knowing that you are doing for them better things than I can pray for."
Someday, I picture a white weatherboard house with a bright and wide veranda and a luscious garden to rival the botanical gardens in Versailles, England or Victoria. It would be mortgage-free and owned collectively by my 60-something girlfriends and me.
We would sit and chat, and have diet soda and cookies until the sun sets on our faces. My grandson Gabriel calls it "Nonna’s time-out house." Not quite. In this dream house where love and friendship abound, there would be no time set for fun and merriment.
Sixty. We are not far indeed from retiring. But look again. We are still a couple of swinging steps ahead of the sheriff.
"Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you."– Andrew Rooney
On the perks of aging: "Your secrets are safe with your peer because they can’t remember them either."– Suzanne Somers
On the perks of aging: "You loathe narcissism but approve of vanity."
On the perks of aging: "Worry, if not gone altogether, no longer haunts in the middle of the night. And you are free, freer, to turn down things that bore you and spend time on matters and with people you enjoy."– Katherine Graham
On the perks of aging: "Before, if she was asked if she was my mother, she’d answer dryly, ‘Someone had to do it!’"– Erma Bombeck
At 60, you know the orangutan theory. If a person goes into a room with an orangutan and explains whatever his/her idea is, the orangutan just sits there eating his banana and at the end of the conversation, the person explaining comes out smarter. (Translation: You have friends who would make you believe you’re smarter!)
At 60, you want to be a grandmother. You hanker, you plead, you threaten, and you lament: "Please, if it doesn’t happen soon, my grandchild and I will be in diapers together."
At 60, the best kind of friend is that kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
"At class reunions, you take notes. If it looks like a lot of people aren’t going to show up for your funeral, hold it in a phone booth so it will look crowded and jam-packed." – Erma Bombeck
The wisdom of aging: My mother has given me everything but an easy act to follow.
Another perk of turning 60: You carry a privilege "senior citizen" card that entitles you to a 20 percent discount on meals and medicine, and free movie tickets in Makati City.
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