Men: Love them or leave them?
September 18, 2005 | 12:00am
Frank Padilla of Couples for Christ authored a tiny book called Females are Fabulous. He begins with: "How little we men understand women. How ambivalent we are as to what a woman really is. How we continue to be confused. She is lovable but exasperating. She can be pure as a turtledove or a deadly tarantula. So what are we to do? Love them or leave them?"
Quoting Frank again:
We need to turn to God’s wisdom for our answer. And what does God say? "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him." And this Partner knows some things about men.
Here goes…
By the time a man finds greener pastures, he’s too old to climb the fence.
Some people think the proper age for a man to start thinking of marriage is when he’s old enough to realize he shouldn’t.
Nothing ages man faster than trying to prove he’s still as young as ever.
Few women admit their age. Few act theirs.
Women’s faults are many. Men have only two: everything they say and everything they do.
There are three things most men love but never understand: females, girls, and women.
To see through a man, it takes an X-ray or an ex-wife.
A well-informed man is one whose wife has just told him what she thinks of him.
The average man is 42 around the chest, 44 around the waist, 96 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house.
There are three kinds of men in the world: fits, misfits and counter-fits.
There are lots of men in this world who started at the bottom – and stayed there.
Maybe one of the things wrong with the world is that there aren’t enough leaders of men and too many chasers of women.
Man can control everything except a woman and a typhoon.
A man’s heart is like a sponge – soaked with emotions and sentiments. He can squeeze out a little bit for every pretty woman he meets.
A man is a peculiar animal. For instance his head will turn when a woman’s hip moves.
The nice men are ugly. The handsome men are not nice. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. The men who are not handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and never make the first move!!!
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s a woman’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature unto something you’d like to have dinner with…
By way of advice...
An advice to men over 50: Keep an open mind and a closed refrigerator.
What is the difference between men and the government bonds? Bonds mature.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? No one knows… It’s never been done.
How are men and parking spaces alike? The good ones are already taken, and the ones left are handicapped.
What is man’s idea of helping you with housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hotdog and six-pack of beer.
How is a man like linoleum? If you lay him right the first time, you can walk all over him for the next 20 years.
A man doesn’t know the value of a woman’s love until he starts paying alimony.
A man is never as weak as when some woman is telling him how strong he is.
Now you know more about men. All told, The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young, have a great sense of humor with a man!
And what did a Philippine National Police Academy cadet worry about women when he was at the Academy that confused him and his fellow cadets even more?
If you are well dressed, she thinks you’re a playboy.
If you’re not, she thinks you’re rugged.
If you kiss her, you’re not a gentleman.
If you don’t, you’re not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you’re lying.
If you don’t, you’re as good as nothing.
If you agree with all her likes, she’s abusing.
If you don’t, she doubts your love.
If you make romance, you’re an expected man.
If you don’t, you’re a man.
If you visit her quite often, she claims it’s boring.
If you’re a minute late, she complains.
If you’re on time, she’ll make you wait.
If you propose within brief acquaintances, you’re a fresh guy.
If you propose later, she wonders why.
If you visit another, she claims you’re doing a hell.
If she is visited by another, she’ll say it’s natural for a girl.
If you fail to assist her in crossing the street, you lack manners.
If you do, she thinks it’s one of the guy’s tactics.
If you kiss her always, she thinks you’re abusing.
If you kiss her once in a while, she says you’re cold and nothing.
If you attempt romance, she says you don’t respect her.
If you don’t, she claims you’re dry.
If you contradict her, she does not like it.
If you don’t, she thinks you’re gullible.
…Oh woman, thou art so simple yet so complex to understand.
…Oh so strong, yet proven conquered…
…So confusing, but still desirable… Oh woman… woman…
We need to turn to God’s wisdom for our answer. And what does God say? "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him." And this Partner knows some things about men.
Here goes…
By the time a man finds greener pastures, he’s too old to climb the fence.
Some people think the proper age for a man to start thinking of marriage is when he’s old enough to realize he shouldn’t.
Nothing ages man faster than trying to prove he’s still as young as ever.
Few women admit their age. Few act theirs.
Women’s faults are many. Men have only two: everything they say and everything they do.
There are three things most men love but never understand: females, girls, and women.
To see through a man, it takes an X-ray or an ex-wife.
A well-informed man is one whose wife has just told him what she thinks of him.
The average man is 42 around the chest, 44 around the waist, 96 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house.
There are three kinds of men in the world: fits, misfits and counter-fits.
There are lots of men in this world who started at the bottom – and stayed there.
Maybe one of the things wrong with the world is that there aren’t enough leaders of men and too many chasers of women.
Man can control everything except a woman and a typhoon.
A man’s heart is like a sponge – soaked with emotions and sentiments. He can squeeze out a little bit for every pretty woman he meets.
A man is a peculiar animal. For instance his head will turn when a woman’s hip moves.
The nice men are ugly. The handsome men are not nice. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. The men who are not handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and never make the first move!!!
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s a woman’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature unto something you’d like to have dinner with…
By way of advice...
An advice to men over 50: Keep an open mind and a closed refrigerator.
What is the difference between men and the government bonds? Bonds mature.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? No one knows… It’s never been done.
How are men and parking spaces alike? The good ones are already taken, and the ones left are handicapped.
What is man’s idea of helping you with housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hotdog and six-pack of beer.
How is a man like linoleum? If you lay him right the first time, you can walk all over him for the next 20 years.
A man doesn’t know the value of a woman’s love until he starts paying alimony.
A man is never as weak as when some woman is telling him how strong he is.
Now you know more about men. All told, The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young, have a great sense of humor with a man!
If you are well dressed, she thinks you’re a playboy.
If you’re not, she thinks you’re rugged.
If you kiss her, you’re not a gentleman.
If you don’t, you’re not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you’re lying.
If you don’t, you’re as good as nothing.
If you agree with all her likes, she’s abusing.
If you don’t, she doubts your love.
If you make romance, you’re an expected man.
If you don’t, you’re a man.
If you visit her quite often, she claims it’s boring.
If you’re a minute late, she complains.
If you’re on time, she’ll make you wait.
If you propose within brief acquaintances, you’re a fresh guy.
If you propose later, she wonders why.
If you visit another, she claims you’re doing a hell.
If she is visited by another, she’ll say it’s natural for a girl.
If you fail to assist her in crossing the street, you lack manners.
If you do, she thinks it’s one of the guy’s tactics.
If you kiss her always, she thinks you’re abusing.
If you kiss her once in a while, she says you’re cold and nothing.
If you attempt romance, she says you don’t respect her.
If you don’t, she claims you’re dry.
If you contradict her, she does not like it.
If you don’t, she thinks you’re gullible.
…Oh woman, thou art so simple yet so complex to understand.
…Oh so strong, yet proven conquered…
…So confusing, but still desirable… Oh woman… woman…
BrandSpace Articles
<
>