This week, I share with you (of course, with the permission of the writer) a unique response to my article "For Love or Money?" It is a thought-provoking e-mail to the usual question that confronts us all at one time or another: "Does he/she love me for me or my money?"
I am an American and I happened to come across your article last July 31.
First, allow me to say that I am married to a Filipina and we have one child together. I found my wife unexpectedly when I decided to visit the Philippines three years ago on vacation. I had heard that the Philippines is a beautiful country and many Filipinos speak English fairly well. So I decided to fly over.
During my stay, I had a two-fold experience. On one hand, I admired the natural beauty of this country, and on the other, I was shocked upon learning that so many people are living in sub-standard conditions. However, during my first visit, I met this Filipina who was living in the local area not too far from where I was staying. Our meeting was totally unplanned and unexpected, and I must admit that she was truly a very beautiful woman. I also met her family and relatives as I was invited for dinner at their house one day.
Upon my arrival at their house, I immediately noticed that they were a poor family, but they were hospitable to me and I felt comfortable with them all. I continued to talk to their daughter and I began to like her very much.
Once my vacation had come to a close, I made sure that I got her address as well as telephone number, and I promised that I would be contacting her from back in the States. We had really liked each other. Once back in the States, I made phone calls to her every day, and we wrote many letters to one another, and I knew as time went by that I wanted a more serious relationship with her. Exactly one year later, I returned to the Philippines and stayed with her family in their house, and proposed to her for marriage. We were married a few months later in Metro Manila.
Since our marriage took place and even beforehand, I have often asked myself if this woman only liked or was interested in me because of money, or if it was really love. My wife comes from a poor family and they are often in need, and I have assisted them many times because I had compassion for their condition. However, at times I have wondered to myself if my wife’s family only likes me because of how I can help or assist them.
Reading your article made me think even more about these things, but as I have examined and evaluated my wife, I can honestly say that she loves me for me and not just because I have money or because of the things I can do for her. My wife is well-treated and well-loved by me, and since we’ve been together, she’s been enjoying a much better life. Even her family gets help from me. Your article is truly an eye opener, but I am glad to report to you, sir, that my wife really married me because she loves me and not because of money only. I am convinced of this. I felt that I wanted to comment on your article and just tell you my good story.
In closing, I will tell you that just recently, after two years of marriage, did I disclose to my wife my true financial status. Just a few weeks ago, I sat my wife down and showed her my bank account statement which contains my personal fortune of just a little under 20 million United States dollars. She had absolutely no idea.
Thanks for reading my story.
Sincerely, Mac
Sometimes it is practical for the rich to present themselves as financially average to avoid attracting friends and lovers who are just in it for the money. It is only when you know the person well enough, when you are sure of their real intentions and agenda, that you reveal your true financial worth (just like Mac did).
One intrinsic aspect of money is that it is neutral. It is neither exclusively good nor bad; it depends on how it is used. It can both heal and kill. It can fuel a relationship or destroy it, especially when greed takes over. The financial innuendos in a marriage or love affair have to be carefully addressed and properly choreographed or else they can cause the breakdown of the relationship.
Money is always a plus in a relationship. Especially if it is an unexpected windfall or a surprise revelation. More money can trigger sweeter kisses and warmer embraces. If money can buy love, love can attract money, too. Life is never fair but somehow, things manage to fall beautifully into place. Anyway, no one ever returned a diamond for being a carat too big.