The four S words

There are four "s" words that we some- times fall short of enjoying because we often brush them off as unnecessary. Truth is, we need them more than we realize. We tend to take them for granted. But if we embracing them as a way of life, these words can make us better people – inside and out.

SILENCE – Why are people so afraid of it? Why does it make even the most confident man squirm on a blind date? Why do people end up throwing senseless, empty words during social gatherings just so they can fill the dead air? Because we sometimes lack anything better to say, we have all been guilty of dabbing in small talk of the insincere kind that always ends with "let’s get together soon", "don’t worry, I’ll pray for you", or "I will call you tomorrow." How often do we actually follow through on what we say? When you leave a party do you really intend to get together with that friend you have not seen since elementary? Will you really remember to pray for that person like you said you would? Will you conveniently forget to call tomorrow?

Why does silence, or the fear of it, push us to babble on and on and say stupid and senseless things?

Today I came home to an empty house. Richard was still at work, Juliana had just left with her Lola Julie and my brothers for the grocery, while the maids were in the kitchen watching their favorite telenovelas on TV. I went up to our room to take a long shower, did centering prayer, and decided to tidy up the room a bit.

When I go about my chores I normally leave the TV on, either that or I play some nice music. This time I decided to make the most out of this quiet time alone.

I used to shy away from silence. As a child, the househelp made me believe that ghosts loved silence and it was then that they made their presence felt. Because of that I dreaded the quiet, especially at night, and always opted to sleep with either the radio or TV on. Silence is intimidating.

Always.

That was something I believed in before. But since I fell in love with centering prayer I have learned to acknowledge and appreciate silence more as a gift than a state of being. Some of the most beautiful things happen in silence. God’s first language is silence. Silence is the purest backdrop upon which your heart’s desires are borne. There is honesty in silence. Prayer happens in silence, so does healing. Courage is built in silence. Love grows in the silence of the heart, and we learn more about ourselves in the midst of stillness and quiet. It is in silence that we learn and fall-in-love more with God.

Silence grounds and centers me. Silence shapes the quality of my thoughts and consequently, the direction of my actions.

Fighting silence will not provide us shelter from our fears. It never has, it never will. Communing with silence will, in fact, free us from our personal demons and give us the courage to face and conquer them. Regularly make time for a quiet moment. If you so desire it, it can be had even in the contours of the busiest day.

SMILE – Please smile. Come on, what will it cost you? What have you got to lose? Unlike a battery-operated flashlight, the brilliance of a smile will not fade away with time and use. Always greet everything and everyone with a smile. It will, at the very least, soften the edges of life’s hard blows. Smile in your thoughts, smile at people, smile through every heartache, smile at life.

You have to learn to live the present moment and accept that where you are right now is exactly where God wants you to be. The sooner you come to terms with that, the happier you will be. Do not fight God’s direction. Simply obey. Beautiful things happen when you surrender to His perfect designs.

Make the good times even better with a smile, make the bad times more bearable with a smile. We are but specks on the earth, let us not go about life distressed over things you have no control over. Focus on where you are going rather than on the obstacles you are faced with. And yes, throughout it all, just smile. The more you smile on the outside, the more you will find reasons to smile on the inside.

SMELL the roses. Slow down and build relationships, nurture friendships, touch lives. Not everything is about power, money, acquisitions, and comfort. Running after time has a way of robbing people of meeting other precious people and priceless moments. There never seems to be enough hours in a day to do everything that we have to and want to do. We are constantly rushing, cursing management of traffic for being so inefficient and heavy, frowning at delays both big and small. Often we are too focused on what we want to achieve. Sadly, these casualties are never just things. Often, they are people and relationships.

You forget about the promise you made to your spouse to have a quiet dinner date and you reassure yourself that you will make up for it next week (of course somehow that never happens). You have no time to feel bad about brushing off a child who wants to be hugged, cutting short the story he wants to tell about how good his teacher said he was. You pretend to laugh at the right moment, nod and agree with all the appropriate sounds yet your mind is really on the computer in front of you, the proposal you are drafting, the game you are watching, the magazine you are reading.

Rushing through life widens the gap between beautiful relationships. Please slow down a bit. Smell the roses. The ordinary things that unfold in daily life are the very same things that make it beautiful.

Be SELFLESS – Selflessness is a key to happiness. Not everything is about you, what you want, and how you feel. Especially during trying times, remind yourself gently that the whole world does not and will not revolve around you. Let go of what is not meant to be yours.

Have a beautiful Sunday. Be happy, God is always good.

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There is a pilgrimage to San Giovanni Rotundo, Italy and several other holy places in Italy, France, Monaco, Spain, and Portugal scheduled from Nov. 3 to 24. The pilgrimage will be headed by Chito Bertol, president of the Manila Seedling Foundation and his wife, Tez. The pilgrimage is accredited by the Philippine Center for St. Pio of Pietrelcina Inc. There are a few more slots available, there will be a maximum of only 30 in this group. So if you are interested, call 0921-3431788.

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In last week’s article, I said that Gabriel is Gary Valenciano’s eldest son. Paolo is the eldest and Gabriel comes after him. The song I knew all this time as All My Life is actually entitled How Did You Know.

Sorry for the errors folks!