My Mai-Mai
June 20, 2004 | 12:00am
A showdown was inevitable. "I don’t want to introduce you as my girlfriend anymore. I want to call you my fiancee," Andrea told Mai. "I thought it was all right so I said yes. Was that correct? It’s just a title, Mom," Mai told me over the phone. I answered it’s been almost five years, so I think it’s OK.
I knew another surprise was forthcoming and indeed a year later, Mai called. "Andrea and I are getting married," she announced. "We were having dinner and he was restless and impatient. He said, ‘Are you going to marry me or not? I am getting older, Mai-Mai.’" Mai, who was busy texting, pretended not to hear, but after some minutes of silence, finally said, "Yes, I will."
"He was so happy, Mom. Well, we both are. He didn’t force me. He gave me an ultimatum," Mai said. That sounded familiar and it made me laugh. We both giggled about it. When Mai came to Manila last December, she asked me to accompany her to the bank to open the safe deposit box where Andrea’s engagement ring was kept so she could bring it back with her to Florence. It had been there for three years and securely kept with an agreement to open it and wear it only when she was ready to marry him. She put the ring in her finger, a marquis-shaped diamond that Andrea and his father bought in New York long ago. This was also the time when she was starting to make arrangements with Andrea’s father, Fernando Zini, for the wedding reception’s menu. Her childhood dream of studying, working and living in New York with Tita Lyn Ilusorio was cast aside after Andrea prevailed upon her to enroll in an exclusive school for handbag-making in Italy. He wanted to establish a new line he would eventually call Segue and which Mai-Mai designed and made prototypes for at Segue’s office outside Florence.
Everytime Peping walks down the aisle to gain a son, I would often wonder whether my daughter’s future babies would refuse to cling on to their mother’s womb. That’s because my five children were all born from my lying eight months in bed reading books. It’s a trifle too light to put it that way because losing a child is always heart-wrenching. But God spared little Mai-Mai in my womb, as blood gushed over white towels after towels. Today, that scene is still a nightmare for my two elder girls. It was a certainly a challenge for my obstetrician Dr. Marcelo Cruz profession, as my husband and I waited for the results of daily frog tests. By the way, Dr. Cruz celebrated his 80th birthday last year and all my five girls were in attendance.
One memorable photograph of Mai is that of her sadly glancing at me as she sat on a little boat in Disneyland while listening to the song It’s a Small, Small World, a thousand dolls garbed in different costumes parading before her. Another photo is of her sitting with legs crossed and wearing huge oversized dark glasses and a size three T-shirt with "Here Comes Trouble" printed on it. Now, the image of a glowing bride walking down the aisle to meet her beloved bridegroom (the source of a dual citizenship and the reason for her status as an OFW in Florence!) would be forever etched in my memory. At least I still have my sense of humor intact amid the flurry of activities.
With subdued elegance and anticipated precision, Mai planned the wedding by herself with Andrea’s assistance of course. He hired a coordinator to prepare the accommodations for their Filipino and Italian guests. They also arranged for cars and buses for the guests, a string quartet, a soprano, and had a lemon yellow carpet with the initials M and A placed every 20 meters from the church entrance to the altar.
In Italian wedding ceremonies, the bride walks down the aisle with her father. At the Basilica di Santa Maria dei Servi in Sienna, Mai-Mai in coordination with Father Eduardo Nantes O.P., a friend from the University of Sto. Tomas, planned a Filipino wedding with veil, cord and candle sponsors. "Tita Tingting," Andrea told me, "by Italian standards I give Mai-Mai (which by the way means "never never" in Italian) a big wedding. In Manila, it is only the number of sponsors." My new son-in-law has already learned Filipino-Muslim cultures. He courted Mai in the Philippines for five years, flying every weekend from Hong Kong to Manila to visit her under the pretext of checking Virgie Ramos’ 12-year business with Andrea’s family who produces Benetton, Segue and Sisley merchandise. A puzzled Peping would see a fair young man at our home Saturdays and on Sundays joining us for Mass. Soon it was outings in Philippine beaches down south. Then, visits to Hong Kong with Tita Virgie and finally falling in love with Florence and the possibilities of an international school, Polimoda, that was affiliated with the New York Institute of Technology. There Mai learned how to design, make patterns, cut, sew, drape and even knit. I would only see my daughter for two weeks twice a year. I savored the love and the hours we shared during those yearly visits realizing that someone else was seeing her practically every day. I no longer wondered how Italian Mai had become, knowing that she has been welcomed by Andrea’s family with open arms. I saw the transformation in her loose flowing hair with subtle golden streaks, her sun-bleached skin, her expressive hands as the tone of her voice changed as she argued and instructed in fluent Italian. Her clothes are simple, accessories so casual, and her bracelets seemingly so inexpensive. But being a euro earner and surrounded by European boutiques, she could afford these costly items more than her hardworking, peso-earning sisters. Along with her drive to succeed, Mai also possesses a humility when it comes to admitting that the designs in the 100 Segue stores in Italy and around Europe were actually hers. "There are two other designers who work as diligently as I do," said Mai, the only Asian in the Zini Office named ABC, which stands for Accessories, Bags and Clothes. This colorful office has bright reds, yellows and greens painted in all the office rooms and staircases.
The day we arrived, an article in the Italian daily, which never publishes as a rule wedding announcements, had mistakenly identified Mai as President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s niece instead of Cory’s. Andrea attributes that publicity exception to the Porsche public relations office being the No. 2 dealer all over Europe of Porsche cars.
"Tita Tingting, in Europe women invited to weddings do not wear the same color as the bride. Now the car is the same color as the bride’s entourage," stated Andrea, who ordered a white Porsche to complement Mai-Mai’s color motif, beige and white. As men tend to adore cars, he had the bridal car – completely covered for Mai-Mai to unveil – parked in front of Andrea’s apartment in Lungarno Amerigo Vespucci beside the American Consulate the day before the June 5 wedding. Two years after her wedding, Mai plans to produce a stack of children with exaggerated aquiline noses in their apartment by the Arno River. Truly, young women of today plan their future while parents are left to guide them.
One day before the wedding found us still tying ribbons to 300 mass cards. My son-in-law Noel suggested that we text his parents Menchu and Cesar Bautista. We found them relaxing in the Plaza Republica with their son Rico and his wife Annabelle and two grandchildren, Regine Panlilio and Kara Picache. We texted them saying, "Running out of time, come over help!" Leave it to the women – Tonya, Andrea’s housekeeper, as well as Lulu, yaya Sally and China – to get things done because by 10 p.m. we had 300 mass cards and 300 gifts wrapped up in beige and peach ribbons.
It was only six months ago when Mai mailed her "Save a Day Cards." Then suddenly, it was the night before the wedding and Andrea himself laid Mai’s delicate bridal gown on the backseat of the bridal car. In Florence, at least in Mai-Mai’s case, her delightful designer, Madame Rina Milano, called in an expert master seamstress and a pattern-maker, and Nicoletta Messeri, an outstanding elderly woman who specializes only in bridal veils and who is popular all over Europe. All three collaborated to produce a wedding gown made with yards and yards of ribbon. The cleanliness of the gown’s stitches was a pride in itself that one could wear the creation even inside out. The veil expert analyzed the features of the bride, the length and width of the veil and how to hold it in place. The designer and master seamstress discussed the number and style of petticoats which would not cause any wrinkles on Mai’s gown. A little jacket was made to wear over Mai’s strapless wedding gown to protect her from the cold weather and the wind. Never mind that her made-to-order Manolo Blahnik white satin shoes from Paris were soiled in this breathless garden wedding. Meanwhile, all of us family members were in our beige beaded gowns by Auggie Cordero in the styles Mai-Mai wanted them to be.
A week after Andrea and Mai-Mai’s wedding, we brought Mai-Mai with us to Paris while Andrea went for a business conference before they meet up for their honeymoon. "Tito Peping," Andrea said, "be sure to send Mai-Mai back to me." We did, and at the Orly Airport Mai-Mai said, "I hate goodbyes," as she brushed away a tear from her eyes and turned around towards the revolving door.
New avenues, I thought during my 16-hour flight from Florence and Paris. I have texted Mr. Fernando Zini and his wife Gabriella that I firmly believe my daughter is safe under their care as she has always been.
New avenues – the Zinis and the Cojuangcos will be faced with these too. Two families both wondering how our grandchildren will look. I have learned that Italians are like Filipinos in many ways. Like us, they are clannish and hospitable. Like us, they love to celebrate life and love.
New avenues... I’m a bit saddened by this new road that I travel with Mai but I am happy that my daughter is happy, but as a mother, I have separation anxieties. I know that she will have to build a new life with Andrea away from the Philippines but as Mai-Mai says, " I am only 16 hours away." Is that a consolation for her or for me? I believe it is for us both.
Many times, we are afraid of change, but I can say that Mai-Mai is a brave young woman who truly loves her man and she’s ready to face the changes as she has proven since her departure from the Philippines six years ago.
New avenues... which is why two days after the wedding, I motored again to the Basilica di Santa Maria dei Servi to pray to the Blessed Virgin for Andrea and Mai-Mai’s happiness and long life.
I knew another surprise was forthcoming and indeed a year later, Mai called. "Andrea and I are getting married," she announced. "We were having dinner and he was restless and impatient. He said, ‘Are you going to marry me or not? I am getting older, Mai-Mai.’" Mai, who was busy texting, pretended not to hear, but after some minutes of silence, finally said, "Yes, I will."
"He was so happy, Mom. Well, we both are. He didn’t force me. He gave me an ultimatum," Mai said. That sounded familiar and it made me laugh. We both giggled about it. When Mai came to Manila last December, she asked me to accompany her to the bank to open the safe deposit box where Andrea’s engagement ring was kept so she could bring it back with her to Florence. It had been there for three years and securely kept with an agreement to open it and wear it only when she was ready to marry him. She put the ring in her finger, a marquis-shaped diamond that Andrea and his father bought in New York long ago. This was also the time when she was starting to make arrangements with Andrea’s father, Fernando Zini, for the wedding reception’s menu. Her childhood dream of studying, working and living in New York with Tita Lyn Ilusorio was cast aside after Andrea prevailed upon her to enroll in an exclusive school for handbag-making in Italy. He wanted to establish a new line he would eventually call Segue and which Mai-Mai designed and made prototypes for at Segue’s office outside Florence.
One memorable photograph of Mai is that of her sadly glancing at me as she sat on a little boat in Disneyland while listening to the song It’s a Small, Small World, a thousand dolls garbed in different costumes parading before her. Another photo is of her sitting with legs crossed and wearing huge oversized dark glasses and a size three T-shirt with "Here Comes Trouble" printed on it. Now, the image of a glowing bride walking down the aisle to meet her beloved bridegroom (the source of a dual citizenship and the reason for her status as an OFW in Florence!) would be forever etched in my memory. At least I still have my sense of humor intact amid the flurry of activities.
With subdued elegance and anticipated precision, Mai planned the wedding by herself with Andrea’s assistance of course. He hired a coordinator to prepare the accommodations for their Filipino and Italian guests. They also arranged for cars and buses for the guests, a string quartet, a soprano, and had a lemon yellow carpet with the initials M and A placed every 20 meters from the church entrance to the altar.
In Italian wedding ceremonies, the bride walks down the aisle with her father. At the Basilica di Santa Maria dei Servi in Sienna, Mai-Mai in coordination with Father Eduardo Nantes O.P., a friend from the University of Sto. Tomas, planned a Filipino wedding with veil, cord and candle sponsors. "Tita Tingting," Andrea told me, "by Italian standards I give Mai-Mai (which by the way means "never never" in Italian) a big wedding. In Manila, it is only the number of sponsors." My new son-in-law has already learned Filipino-Muslim cultures. He courted Mai in the Philippines for five years, flying every weekend from Hong Kong to Manila to visit her under the pretext of checking Virgie Ramos’ 12-year business with Andrea’s family who produces Benetton, Segue and Sisley merchandise. A puzzled Peping would see a fair young man at our home Saturdays and on Sundays joining us for Mass. Soon it was outings in Philippine beaches down south. Then, visits to Hong Kong with Tita Virgie and finally falling in love with Florence and the possibilities of an international school, Polimoda, that was affiliated with the New York Institute of Technology. There Mai learned how to design, make patterns, cut, sew, drape and even knit. I would only see my daughter for two weeks twice a year. I savored the love and the hours we shared during those yearly visits realizing that someone else was seeing her practically every day. I no longer wondered how Italian Mai had become, knowing that she has been welcomed by Andrea’s family with open arms. I saw the transformation in her loose flowing hair with subtle golden streaks, her sun-bleached skin, her expressive hands as the tone of her voice changed as she argued and instructed in fluent Italian. Her clothes are simple, accessories so casual, and her bracelets seemingly so inexpensive. But being a euro earner and surrounded by European boutiques, she could afford these costly items more than her hardworking, peso-earning sisters. Along with her drive to succeed, Mai also possesses a humility when it comes to admitting that the designs in the 100 Segue stores in Italy and around Europe were actually hers. "There are two other designers who work as diligently as I do," said Mai, the only Asian in the Zini Office named ABC, which stands for Accessories, Bags and Clothes. This colorful office has bright reds, yellows and greens painted in all the office rooms and staircases.
The day we arrived, an article in the Italian daily, which never publishes as a rule wedding announcements, had mistakenly identified Mai as President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s niece instead of Cory’s. Andrea attributes that publicity exception to the Porsche public relations office being the No. 2 dealer all over Europe of Porsche cars.
One day before the wedding found us still tying ribbons to 300 mass cards. My son-in-law Noel suggested that we text his parents Menchu and Cesar Bautista. We found them relaxing in the Plaza Republica with their son Rico and his wife Annabelle and two grandchildren, Regine Panlilio and Kara Picache. We texted them saying, "Running out of time, come over help!" Leave it to the women – Tonya, Andrea’s housekeeper, as well as Lulu, yaya Sally and China – to get things done because by 10 p.m. we had 300 mass cards and 300 gifts wrapped up in beige and peach ribbons.
It was only six months ago when Mai mailed her "Save a Day Cards." Then suddenly, it was the night before the wedding and Andrea himself laid Mai’s delicate bridal gown on the backseat of the bridal car. In Florence, at least in Mai-Mai’s case, her delightful designer, Madame Rina Milano, called in an expert master seamstress and a pattern-maker, and Nicoletta Messeri, an outstanding elderly woman who specializes only in bridal veils and who is popular all over Europe. All three collaborated to produce a wedding gown made with yards and yards of ribbon. The cleanliness of the gown’s stitches was a pride in itself that one could wear the creation even inside out. The veil expert analyzed the features of the bride, the length and width of the veil and how to hold it in place. The designer and master seamstress discussed the number and style of petticoats which would not cause any wrinkles on Mai’s gown. A little jacket was made to wear over Mai’s strapless wedding gown to protect her from the cold weather and the wind. Never mind that her made-to-order Manolo Blahnik white satin shoes from Paris were soiled in this breathless garden wedding. Meanwhile, all of us family members were in our beige beaded gowns by Auggie Cordero in the styles Mai-Mai wanted them to be.
New avenues, I thought during my 16-hour flight from Florence and Paris. I have texted Mr. Fernando Zini and his wife Gabriella that I firmly believe my daughter is safe under their care as she has always been.
New avenues – the Zinis and the Cojuangcos will be faced with these too. Two families both wondering how our grandchildren will look. I have learned that Italians are like Filipinos in many ways. Like us, they are clannish and hospitable. Like us, they love to celebrate life and love.
New avenues... I’m a bit saddened by this new road that I travel with Mai but I am happy that my daughter is happy, but as a mother, I have separation anxieties. I know that she will have to build a new life with Andrea away from the Philippines but as Mai-Mai says, " I am only 16 hours away." Is that a consolation for her or for me? I believe it is for us both.
Many times, we are afraid of change, but I can say that Mai-Mai is a brave young woman who truly loves her man and she’s ready to face the changes as she has proven since her departure from the Philippines six years ago.
New avenues... which is why two days after the wedding, I motored again to the Basilica di Santa Maria dei Servi to pray to the Blessed Virgin for Andrea and Mai-Mai’s happiness and long life.
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