Thus began Adrian Deevoy’s lustful account of his interview with the flaxen sylph Gwyneth Paltrow for British GQ. I have to admit that the article was full of the predictable self-effacing (not) Gwynethisms ("You would be surprised I haven’t been paid anything substantial for two years!" or on being called a Wal-Mart Grace Kelly. "Doesn’t Wal-Mart mean bargain basement? Perhaps I’ll ignore that part and put emphasis on Grace Kelly. I’m sure that’s what they meant anyway." Cringe, cringe). What struck me was wow – Gwyneth uses Dermatologica. Anyone anal enough to be on a macrobiotic diet is sure to know what’s good for her especially if she seems to think that she’s better than everyone else. So I’m sold.
These are the best of times and the worst of times for the capitalist whore. We are bombarded with products that promise everything from erasing fine lines to transporting you back to the days when you lounged in Grandma’s kitchen taking your baby’s bottom’s smooth skin for granted. No one wants to be the beauty counter idiot and thus we have to educate ourselves to see beyond the celluloid queens hawking the products and figure out the real McCoy. Companies sniffed at this whole snub against Stephen Glass-like claims of eternal youth and created products with almost poetic implications. The result was that you had the anti-aging version of the noncommittal man, I can moisturize but I don’t know if I’ll be around for long. Then when we begin to lower expectations and resort to more drastic meanswith adjectives such as invasive linked to its resume, then comes Dermatologica. A Keats (wild, wild eyes) amongst the neurotic Allens, its products are named in the same lustful yet straightforward manner as its claims.
To the jaded buyer, the products in its decidedly spartan packaging may seem like a product that jumped out of a supermarket tabloid. Until of course you use it. Then you’re hooked and realize that you are high maintenance after all. Like Gwyneth, but hopefully without the WASPy attitude.
Vitamins applied topically on the skin do work. Although they’ve been proven to lose their potency once exposed to air and light, applied in a concentrated form they do wonders. That’s why I’m hooked on Multivitamin Power Concentrate. I know it sounds like a protein shake that tastes like cement, but pop open one of the silver plastic capsules (protecting it from light and air) and the serum smells like a beach sunset cocktail. Its effects are equally intoxicating. With vitamins that rival a Centrum popper, the smooth and non-greasy serum glides on to the skin and is soaked up almost immediately. The instant effect is that of a refreshed complexion, a more vibrant tone and an even texture. Long term it promotes elasticity, erases signs of aging, stimulates collagen production and tissue regeneration. The drier areas will benefit from the Multivitamin Power Firm for the eye and lip area. Pure vitamins in a waterless base,work overtime to smooth and repair these delicate areas.
As a treat, the Multivitamin Power Recovery Masque is the ultimate vitamin boost. The no-nonsense masque pumps skin with vitamins and takes advantage of the magical properties of natural extracts such as licorice, comfrey and burdock to soothe the skin. At Essenses Aesthetics you can treat your high maintenance self to an exfoliation facial therapy using this vitamin surging formula and see what it does to your tanned and boozed out skin.
So maybe Gwyneth can win Oscars for her acting. But her beauty booty sure is excellent even without the theatrics. Do I smell addicts already?