Is suicide really painless?
November 30, 2003 | 12:00am
Can suicides, especially by despondent or confused young people, be prevented? Are people who commit suicide victims of clinical depression, a medical illness that can be healed? Or is this waste of life by a misguided expression of youthful angst and rebellion?
The news of the suicide of former Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago’s 22-year-old son Ateneo law student Alexander Robert "AR" Santiago on November 20 sent chills down the spines of a lot of people.
Why would such a young man from a prestigious university and whose family just moved into an elegant new residence in La Vista, Quezon City want to end his life in such a violent way? The televised footages of former Senator Miriam Santiago weeping elicited reactions of both shock and empathy from the general public.
Could AR’s parents, classmates, professors have done anything to prevent the suicide?
Is there anything that can be done to make the young people see that suicide is not a cool way out? Suicide is not a sign of courage. Rather it shows that a person is not in control of his life and it is a most tragic waste of God’s greatest gift of life.
How can a more sensitive and responsible mass media help prevent tragic "copycat suicides" – people who commit suicide because they are trying to imitate or follow famous celebrities who also killed themselves?
In 1962 when an overdose of drugs killed 36-year-old Hollywood star Marilyn Monroe, in the same month of her death the United States national suicide rate went up by 12 percent! In countless reports on Marilyn, not much had been said to highlight her emotional, psychological and moral crises. How many of her fans know that Marilyn as a girl was passed to several homes, that she suffered sexual abuse as a teenager, that her life of showbiz fame was empty, that she didn’t pose for Playboy but that Hugh Hefner bought rights to an old calendar that made her the magazine’s first centerfold, that she was beaten up by ex-husband baseball great Joe DiMaggio, that she was allegedly taken advantage of by the politically powerful Kennedy brothers?
Studies have shown that due to our world’s unhealthy obsession with celebrities, suicides by showbiz or political celebrities tend to encourage disturbing "copycat suicides." Is this because of media’s inadequate reports as to how these celebrity suicide victims were either clinically depressed, mentally or emotionally troubled, suffered moral crises or were drug addicts?
On November 12, 27-year-old American actor Jonathan Brandis committed suicide, why? Almost a decade after the suicide of Nirvana singer and grunge musician Kurt Cobain at age 27, his death still intrigues and inspires his fans despite his life of hell with depression and heroin.
Drugs, life in the fast lane, hedonism and fame never brought Cobain true happiness.
Michael Hutchence, Australian lead singer of the rock group INXS, committed suicide at age 37. In the 1990s he had an affair with the wife of another singer and his life became front-page tabloid news. English punk rock musician Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols committed suicide at age 21. He had an unhappy family life, with a mother who used to sell drugs in trendy Ibiza, Spain. He believed in the "live fast die young" nihilist mythology of emptiness.
At a recent dinner for the Gagamboy film directed by Eric Matti and scripted by Roy Iglesias, several entertainment journalists led by Philippine STAR entertainment editor Ricky Lo and director Mel Chionglo talked about the suicide this year of Hong Kong film/singing star Leslie Leung.
They said that the 47-year-old star had an appointment on April 1 with his ex-manager at Mandarin Oriental Hotel and that when the ex-manager called the star he replied that he would be out of the hotel soon. And then just as the ex-manager was walking out of the hotel, the actor-singer jumped from the 24th floor of the hotel.
Leung, star in Cannes Film Festival Best Film Farewell, My Concubine, suffered from depression.
Two former sexy bold stars of Philippine cinema committed shocking suicides almost around the same period – the mysterious Stella Strada who never granted interviews to the media and the nubile actress Pepsi Paloma who unsuccessfully filed a rape case against two popular comedians. Malou Fagar, senior vice-president of TAPE, Inc./Eat Bulaga noontime show, said: "I have watched the life stories of sexy actresses on Wish Ko Lang and Maalaala Mo Kaya where they regretted what they did in their bold movies. Maybe they did the movies against their will, or maybe men exploited them, or maybe they realized that it’s easy to be famous as celebrities or bold stars, but after that what? I urge people not to even think of suicide, because all trials that are happening in our lives, all these have a purpose, God is building our character. Never give up. If everything and everyone goes against you, remember there’s God who will always be with you and that you can be counted on."
Atop businesswoman said that her friend’s son told her about suicides/suicide attempts at the Ateneo High School. The businesswoman wondered if there was something wrong with excessive familial or social pressures on youngsters to excel in several of the country’s topnotch exclusive schools? Fr. Manoling Francisco, S.J., valedictorian of the Ateneo High School, once told this writer in the 1980s that there was a time when several suicides or suicide attempts occurred in their high school, prompting the Jesuits to hold a symposium on suicides.
The 84-year-old Columbia University-trained human behavior scholar Fr. Luis G. Candelaria, S.J. explains: "Claims that there are many suicides or suicide attempts at the Ateneo High School or even in the university are hearsay. Yes, I know of some cases, a couple of them, but the claim that there are plenty, that is hearsay. When people approach me to seek counsel about possible suicide problems, I don’t talk about these matters to other people... Maybe the reason people say there are many suicides at the Ateneo High School is because in our country, more of those from the upper social strata usually commit suicide, those who study in prestigious schools. In Japan, suicide rates are also high due to tremendous pressure to pass government exams."
During this writer’s visit to the wake in the Christ the King Chapel in Greenmeadows, Quezon City, Miriam Defensor Santiago and her husband ex-Interior undersecretary Narciso Santiago, Jr. told us that AR must have accumulated so many frustrations and humiliations ranging from academic setbacks to insults from the family’s political enemies. They recounted AR’s humiliation when he passed the UP Law School written entrance exam, but failed the oral exam where anti-Miriam professors asked what he thought of the charge that his mother was insane and how much his father spent on cockfights. Narciso Santiago, Jr. even recounted how one of the UP law professors once went outside their home to shout political slogans and how he went out to chase this heckler.
In Ateneo, when AR failed the subject on persons and family relations, they protested but "didn’t receive the courtesy of a reply." Mother Lily Y. Monteverde, producer of new films Mano Po 2 and Gagamboy, said: "If the suicide victims are young people, it is not their fault, they’re victims. Family upbringing, parents and educators can help prevent the suicide.
They are innocent kids and need to be showered with love and care. We must let them feel secure. I am very sad about news of young people committing suicide, because I had a cousin who died that way – a summa cum laude graduate of UP and whose own dad was a doctor. Perhaps it was too much pressure. Why should schools and society pressure kids to always have high grades? I never had good grades in school, because I was always dreaming, but I worked hard and achieved my dreams anyway.
I advise confused or depressed young people to love themselves. Never think of suicide. Love life.
Don’t be too emotional. What is important is to simplify our lives, stop, slow down. Never commit suicide."
What could be a more tragic mistake than to be gifted with extraordinary talent, yet to give up on life and surrender to death so easily? Nobel Prize and Pulitzer Prize awardee Ernest Hemingway led an accomplished and exciting life. His novels were literary masterpieces. He was also awarded the Silver Medal of Military Valor in World War I, but he succumbed to depression without seeking medical counsel or spiritual assistance. He committed suicide on July 2, 1961. His granddaughter actress and singer Margaux Hemingway was only 41 years old when she committed suicide on the anniversary of her grandfather’s suicide 35 years later in 1996.
Both of them were interred in the same Ketchum Cemetery at Ketchum, Idaho.
The 19th century Dutch artist Vincent Van Gogh had 900 paintings and 1,100 drawings, but sold only one painting in his lifetime. He suffered terrible depression and committed suicide with his final words in French: "La tristesse durera toujours (The sadness will last forever)." It was tragic that he did not persevere. He failed to seek the best psychological medical care. He gave up on life. He lost all hope. His paintings eventually became popular, and are today among the world’s most expensive. In 1990, his painting "Portrait of Doctor Gachet" sold for a world record US$82.5 million in an auction by Christie’s.
The Hours won for actress Nicole Kidman the Oscar Award for Best Actress, because of her convincing portrayal of the troubled life of British writer and feminist Virginia Woolf. Woolf committed suicide by drowning herself in the Ouse River near her home. What drove this talented woman to desperation? Her mother died when she was young, she suffered nervous breakdowns and was a victim of sexual molestation as a youth. She was said to be emotionally troubled. Could her peers, family members, friends and the society have detected the danger signals? Could they have prevented her fall into self-destruction?
A.R. Santiago, Jimmy Ongpin, Sweden, Suicide Prevention
Fr. Luis Candelaria, S.J. said: "For Christians, suicide is not right. Life is a gift from God. We are only stewards of our life, we’re just the caretakers, so we must take care of this life the best we can. I am saddened by any news of suicides, because they are tragic. Studies have shown that sometimes when a pregnant mother does not want to have her baby or wanted to abort her child the message the child gets is that it is not wanted. So, during their life they attempt suicides. However, these are speculations. Like the case of Miriam’s son AR we don’t really know why he committed suicide, we can only speculate. I knew ex-President Cory Aquino’s late Finance Secretary Jimmy Ongpin. He was a member of our Board of Trustees here at the Ateneo. I had tremendous admiration for him. I was shocked when he committed suicide. Why did he do that? I don’t know. Maybe his expectations of government were not fulfilled. There are so many speculations, but we do not know what went through his mind."
For people contemplating suicide Father Candelaria says: "If you have a friend, best friend or your family members, share your burdens with them this will make your burden lighter. People who contemplate suicide know it is not right, but at the moment that they are thinking about it, they don’t think about if it’s good or bad. Rather, what is happening is that they are overburdened by their problems. I can’t take it anymore, so boom! It’s very tragic. Please remember, suicide is never right, it is not the way out."
In the past four decades, something called "suicidology" has flourished in affluent yet emotionally stressed United States. Thousands of books and studies have proliferated in the West purporting to explain the rise in suicides. During the Clinton administration, the US government even considered it a major public health problem that merited national response and a prevention campaign specially among the youth. Common factors for suicides are bereavement, social isolation, chronic illness, psychotic disturbance, alcoholism or drug addiction.
Summit Media boss Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng said that the world’s highest suicide rates are in Sweden, and that the highest suicide incidence in America is in Seattle. Why Sweden which virtually has no poverty or unemployment problems, has free medical care for all, and government pension from cradle to grave? Is it due to their world-famous sexual liberalism or hedonism, that country’s all-time low church attendance, or due to the fact that past surveys show that many Swedes do not believe in God or life after death?
Suicide, depression, going into drugs, nihilism and other acts of self-destruction are symptoms of real psychiatric pathology, or medical problems, or emotional crisis, as well as serious spiritual malaise. If the problem is not psychiatric or medical, for people with faith in God, there is no reason for incurable depression.
History chronicles countless of inspiring tales of men and women who wrestled with the worst crises and triumphed over them. They never gave up. They endured all pain and all hardship. The Bible has a verse in the book of Romans that states: "If God is for you, who can be against you?"
Thanks for all your FPJ jokes, other humor and messages sent to wilson_lee_flores@hotmail.com or wilson_lee_flores@newyork.com or wilson_lee_flores@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 14277, Ortigas Center, Pasig City
The news of the suicide of former Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago’s 22-year-old son Ateneo law student Alexander Robert "AR" Santiago on November 20 sent chills down the spines of a lot of people.
Why would such a young man from a prestigious university and whose family just moved into an elegant new residence in La Vista, Quezon City want to end his life in such a violent way? The televised footages of former Senator Miriam Santiago weeping elicited reactions of both shock and empathy from the general public.
Could AR’s parents, classmates, professors have done anything to prevent the suicide?
How can a more sensitive and responsible mass media help prevent tragic "copycat suicides" – people who commit suicide because they are trying to imitate or follow famous celebrities who also killed themselves?
In 1962 when an overdose of drugs killed 36-year-old Hollywood star Marilyn Monroe, in the same month of her death the United States national suicide rate went up by 12 percent! In countless reports on Marilyn, not much had been said to highlight her emotional, psychological and moral crises. How many of her fans know that Marilyn as a girl was passed to several homes, that she suffered sexual abuse as a teenager, that her life of showbiz fame was empty, that she didn’t pose for Playboy but that Hugh Hefner bought rights to an old calendar that made her the magazine’s first centerfold, that she was beaten up by ex-husband baseball great Joe DiMaggio, that she was allegedly taken advantage of by the politically powerful Kennedy brothers?
Studies have shown that due to our world’s unhealthy obsession with celebrities, suicides by showbiz or political celebrities tend to encourage disturbing "copycat suicides." Is this because of media’s inadequate reports as to how these celebrity suicide victims were either clinically depressed, mentally or emotionally troubled, suffered moral crises or were drug addicts?
On November 12, 27-year-old American actor Jonathan Brandis committed suicide, why? Almost a decade after the suicide of Nirvana singer and grunge musician Kurt Cobain at age 27, his death still intrigues and inspires his fans despite his life of hell with depression and heroin.
Drugs, life in the fast lane, hedonism and fame never brought Cobain true happiness.
Michael Hutchence, Australian lead singer of the rock group INXS, committed suicide at age 37. In the 1990s he had an affair with the wife of another singer and his life became front-page tabloid news. English punk rock musician Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols committed suicide at age 21. He had an unhappy family life, with a mother who used to sell drugs in trendy Ibiza, Spain. He believed in the "live fast die young" nihilist mythology of emptiness.
At a recent dinner for the Gagamboy film directed by Eric Matti and scripted by Roy Iglesias, several entertainment journalists led by Philippine STAR entertainment editor Ricky Lo and director Mel Chionglo talked about the suicide this year of Hong Kong film/singing star Leslie Leung.
They said that the 47-year-old star had an appointment on April 1 with his ex-manager at Mandarin Oriental Hotel and that when the ex-manager called the star he replied that he would be out of the hotel soon. And then just as the ex-manager was walking out of the hotel, the actor-singer jumped from the 24th floor of the hotel.
Leung, star in Cannes Film Festival Best Film Farewell, My Concubine, suffered from depression.
Two former sexy bold stars of Philippine cinema committed shocking suicides almost around the same period – the mysterious Stella Strada who never granted interviews to the media and the nubile actress Pepsi Paloma who unsuccessfully filed a rape case against two popular comedians. Malou Fagar, senior vice-president of TAPE, Inc./Eat Bulaga noontime show, said: "I have watched the life stories of sexy actresses on Wish Ko Lang and Maalaala Mo Kaya where they regretted what they did in their bold movies. Maybe they did the movies against their will, or maybe men exploited them, or maybe they realized that it’s easy to be famous as celebrities or bold stars, but after that what? I urge people not to even think of suicide, because all trials that are happening in our lives, all these have a purpose, God is building our character. Never give up. If everything and everyone goes against you, remember there’s God who will always be with you and that you can be counted on."
The 84-year-old Columbia University-trained human behavior scholar Fr. Luis G. Candelaria, S.J. explains: "Claims that there are many suicides or suicide attempts at the Ateneo High School or even in the university are hearsay. Yes, I know of some cases, a couple of them, but the claim that there are plenty, that is hearsay. When people approach me to seek counsel about possible suicide problems, I don’t talk about these matters to other people... Maybe the reason people say there are many suicides at the Ateneo High School is because in our country, more of those from the upper social strata usually commit suicide, those who study in prestigious schools. In Japan, suicide rates are also high due to tremendous pressure to pass government exams."
During this writer’s visit to the wake in the Christ the King Chapel in Greenmeadows, Quezon City, Miriam Defensor Santiago and her husband ex-Interior undersecretary Narciso Santiago, Jr. told us that AR must have accumulated so many frustrations and humiliations ranging from academic setbacks to insults from the family’s political enemies. They recounted AR’s humiliation when he passed the UP Law School written entrance exam, but failed the oral exam where anti-Miriam professors asked what he thought of the charge that his mother was insane and how much his father spent on cockfights. Narciso Santiago, Jr. even recounted how one of the UP law professors once went outside their home to shout political slogans and how he went out to chase this heckler.
In Ateneo, when AR failed the subject on persons and family relations, they protested but "didn’t receive the courtesy of a reply." Mother Lily Y. Monteverde, producer of new films Mano Po 2 and Gagamboy, said: "If the suicide victims are young people, it is not their fault, they’re victims. Family upbringing, parents and educators can help prevent the suicide.
They are innocent kids and need to be showered with love and care. We must let them feel secure. I am very sad about news of young people committing suicide, because I had a cousin who died that way – a summa cum laude graduate of UP and whose own dad was a doctor. Perhaps it was too much pressure. Why should schools and society pressure kids to always have high grades? I never had good grades in school, because I was always dreaming, but I worked hard and achieved my dreams anyway.
I advise confused or depressed young people to love themselves. Never think of suicide. Love life.
Don’t be too emotional. What is important is to simplify our lives, stop, slow down. Never commit suicide."
Both of them were interred in the same Ketchum Cemetery at Ketchum, Idaho.
The 19th century Dutch artist Vincent Van Gogh had 900 paintings and 1,100 drawings, but sold only one painting in his lifetime. He suffered terrible depression and committed suicide with his final words in French: "La tristesse durera toujours (The sadness will last forever)." It was tragic that he did not persevere. He failed to seek the best psychological medical care. He gave up on life. He lost all hope. His paintings eventually became popular, and are today among the world’s most expensive. In 1990, his painting "Portrait of Doctor Gachet" sold for a world record US$82.5 million in an auction by Christie’s.
The Hours won for actress Nicole Kidman the Oscar Award for Best Actress, because of her convincing portrayal of the troubled life of British writer and feminist Virginia Woolf. Woolf committed suicide by drowning herself in the Ouse River near her home. What drove this talented woman to desperation? Her mother died when she was young, she suffered nervous breakdowns and was a victim of sexual molestation as a youth. She was said to be emotionally troubled. Could her peers, family members, friends and the society have detected the danger signals? Could they have prevented her fall into self-destruction?
Fr. Luis Candelaria, S.J. said: "For Christians, suicide is not right. Life is a gift from God. We are only stewards of our life, we’re just the caretakers, so we must take care of this life the best we can. I am saddened by any news of suicides, because they are tragic. Studies have shown that sometimes when a pregnant mother does not want to have her baby or wanted to abort her child the message the child gets is that it is not wanted. So, during their life they attempt suicides. However, these are speculations. Like the case of Miriam’s son AR we don’t really know why he committed suicide, we can only speculate. I knew ex-President Cory Aquino’s late Finance Secretary Jimmy Ongpin. He was a member of our Board of Trustees here at the Ateneo. I had tremendous admiration for him. I was shocked when he committed suicide. Why did he do that? I don’t know. Maybe his expectations of government were not fulfilled. There are so many speculations, but we do not know what went through his mind."
For people contemplating suicide Father Candelaria says: "If you have a friend, best friend or your family members, share your burdens with them this will make your burden lighter. People who contemplate suicide know it is not right, but at the moment that they are thinking about it, they don’t think about if it’s good or bad. Rather, what is happening is that they are overburdened by their problems. I can’t take it anymore, so boom! It’s very tragic. Please remember, suicide is never right, it is not the way out."
In the past four decades, something called "suicidology" has flourished in affluent yet emotionally stressed United States. Thousands of books and studies have proliferated in the West purporting to explain the rise in suicides. During the Clinton administration, the US government even considered it a major public health problem that merited national response and a prevention campaign specially among the youth. Common factors for suicides are bereavement, social isolation, chronic illness, psychotic disturbance, alcoholism or drug addiction.
Summit Media boss Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng said that the world’s highest suicide rates are in Sweden, and that the highest suicide incidence in America is in Seattle. Why Sweden which virtually has no poverty or unemployment problems, has free medical care for all, and government pension from cradle to grave? Is it due to their world-famous sexual liberalism or hedonism, that country’s all-time low church attendance, or due to the fact that past surveys show that many Swedes do not believe in God or life after death?
Suicide, depression, going into drugs, nihilism and other acts of self-destruction are symptoms of real psychiatric pathology, or medical problems, or emotional crisis, as well as serious spiritual malaise. If the problem is not psychiatric or medical, for people with faith in God, there is no reason for incurable depression.
History chronicles countless of inspiring tales of men and women who wrestled with the worst crises and triumphed over them. They never gave up. They endured all pain and all hardship. The Bible has a verse in the book of Romans that states: "If God is for you, who can be against you?"
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