The debutante

My friend Lulu’s little Klaren turned 18 last October 14. She didn’t have the conventional debut, but five days after her celebration, she continues to rave about her first party.

Gosh, Klaren’s a debutante! At 15 she’d input sheets of paper with crosses, X’s and arrows while running to her mom in the kitchen asking too many questions as she tried to decipher my handwriting. Hieroglyphics she’d complain to her mom. That was during weekends in Baguio City when my assistants Claire and Merlita would climb over our common little Baguio hill. Soon after Claire would arrive panting, carrying neatly-typed out paragraphs with commas, exclamation points and dashes from Klaren. That’s why Klaren merits a column all her own.

When Lulu and I put in work at the Country Club, Klaren coming home earlier would cook sinigang na karne for us and her little brothers. Introverted then, she probably thought she’d become our house marm. Oh no, never Klaren, you just went through that old- fashioned conditioning we had to go through ourselves – respect and obey your elders’ requests, even through child labor. Lulu and I wondered how we’d get Klaren to laugh a little more and be less uninhibited. A university! We thought that was the answer.

While mommy and daddy saved up for a UP course, Klaren passed her exams for first year college to a far away university in strange Manila. The transformation I see is tremendous. She’s less shy, more hilarious and enthusiastic even wanting me to meet her whole barkada of UP dormmates. She’s a pearl inside a shell gaping open.

Klaren’s no longer overly shy, we’re peeking into her obvious happiness, as she’s captivated by an adventure of her own – independence based on trust with a scholarship.

* * *

The venue for Klaren’s celebration was the Kanlungan ng Sining or the Artist’s Haven in the center of Rizal Park. The date was October 18. The story of this party alone is interesting. For starters, Lulu and Romy decided on a surprise party for Klaren’s debut. Surprise? Considering Klaren shrieked each time we teased her about a cotillion, a surprise celebration was going to be ideal. The garden setting of the venue was another risk. Would it still rain in October? No, it won’t rain, we convinced ourselves. Besides, eggs for St. Claire would be helpful. Then, by September, we learned that US President Bush was going to arrive on that day.... of all days. The park was going to be closed to the public because the President was scheduled to lay a wreath at the Rizal Monument. "But all the invitations had been sent out!" The days of waiting were agonizing and there was a heavy sigh of relief when finally Roel Supendio of the National Parks Development Committee gave Lulu the thumbs up and director Jaime Recio signed the park permit at last. So with the hard work of aunts and uncles, the preparations for the party commenced.

Both parents wanted something special for their only girl. But since money was tight, a loan was their answer. Not enough, little things came forth. Lulu told me. "I knew God would provide. Ask and ye shall receive." From out of the blue, pledges and gifts poured in. Klaren’s friends from UP committed to make the audiovisual presentation for her. One Lola donated the wacky cake with a UP oblation made by Judy Uson, while the other Lola provided the videographer and the photographer. An aunt provided the torches that adorned the place while another aunt provided for the decor of flowers, balloons and floating candles in the small pond. A mistah, Romy, a member of PMA Class ‘83, donated lechon while another donated drinks. And of course, her beautiful, beautiful peach gown was from me. All in all, it was proof that we loved Klaren.

Klaren was dazed with shock seeing the familiar faces as she entered the garden. It didn’t rain at all, thanks to St. Claire. And despite Roxas Boulevard being closed and the traffic that delayed and inconvenienced many guests, the party was a hit.

With all the cloak-and-dagger stuff, Lulu went through, perhaps the real essence of the celebration dawned on her just that night as she joked, "My daughter’s been tomboyish and childish." Well, her mommy Lulu is always in blue jeans too, works the whole day, cooks at early evening, wakes up at 5 am to send the boys to school. Whoever thinks a woman is "just a plain housewife" is ignorant and mean.

* * *

As Klaren entered the garden with her gown and full makeup, I realized that yes, she certainly had come of age. Then, as a twist to the traditional 18 candles, each guest with a candle described Klaren. As fate would have it, one of her ninangs failed to attend the party to give Lulu her candle. Luckily Jeannie Pacheco, Lulu’s sister, brought an extra candle, "just in case." In a predicament, now what would Lulu say? What can a mother say to her daughter just then? "Klaren," Lulu begun, "create a balance for yourself. At 18, I will allow you to make your own mistakes but I would continue to push you to rise each time you fall." And tears just escaped her. Klaren sitting on a monobloc chair tried to fight her own tears. "Was I tough on her Ma’am?" Lulu asked me. "I’ll apologize." Yet, seeing how well Klaren turned out, Lulu and Romy must have done something very right.

Then it was her Dad’s turn. When asked what his daughter would be allowed to do now that she had turned 18, he teased, " Oh, now she is allowed to come home at 9 in the evening." When prodded to say something more, he buckled down. For someone who orders a battalion of fighting soldiers around, he was out of words as emotions overtook him. His actions spoke for him and it was an unforgettable sight as father and daughter stood hugging for a long time, just crying.

Romy and Lulu have not made any startling announcements like "you can now have suitors" or "you can now have a boyfriend." "College first to be a productive citizen," Lulu says. "Already, she’s asked me whether she can learn to drive even if we just borrow my mom-in-law’s car or where she’ll register to vote. But come to think of it, I’ve been insecure ever since she stopped singing "Intsy-wintsy spider" and started singing Let’s talk about sex baby... back when she was 7 years old." Ah! Lulu and I remarked we were born to early. We both laughed.

* * *

Klariness Pacheco-Tanalgo. Mom Lulu lovingly watches her debutante as only a mother can with the loving puzzling look of "what now?" As Klaren fleets around the garden among the guests, she elicits some laughter from her friends who see how conscious she feels wearing an elegant gown instead of blue jeans. But Lulu’s little baby has evolved into a gracious hostess and an affectionate family member. And then, her mother says to me, "I feel the pangs of labor again." As our invitation said, "There are two priceless gifts we parents can give our children, roots and wings." "We have given her the roots, and that night, I felt my child had truly earned her wings. I’m afraid that soon, it might really be time to let her fly on her own."