Le Smoking

Not-so-break-ing news. This month, all ashtrays will be hied off to storage rooms or perhaps be recycled as appetizer plates as Makati is now a smoke-free zone. Well, almost. Bars are asked to put enclosures in their establishments and designate them as smoking sections (very NAIA). And in restaurants, the only thing that will be lit are the ovens. So what does that do to the nightcrawlers of our town?

Sales in dental bleaches and Listerine strips will surely dip along with dry-cleaning bills. Perhaps most asthmatic nocturnal creatures will be happy to leave their Ventolins in the glove compartment from now on and, as I can say from experience, a whole lot of outfits will be saved from cigarette burns after you or your companions have had a liter too much of hoochie! Being a Makaticentric that likes to osculate Malboros/Luckies/Sobranies regularly, this is, indeed, a compromise.

My concerns are trite as I have gotten over my nervous cigarette habit from college, and now only enjoy smoking in the company of a stiff cocktail (thus a social smoker who likes to mooch). Apart from the smoking stations that will be available soon in our chic cocktail hubs (which will probably kill me faster with the first- and second-hand smoke wafting about), I will also cease using one killer pick-up line – can I have a light? I even know people who don’t smoke and yet carry lighters in a desperate attempt to flirt like moi and belt out such a line. Nothing beats the thrill of your object of desire lighting you up (a foreshadowing of events indeed). I’ll also lose the excuse not to talk to delilahs milling about since my favorite activity when such a Macbethish episode does occur is pretending to be engrossed with my ciggie (very schizo I know as I start reading the brand on the filter with enthusiasm). Now, I guess I’ll have to pretend that I’m texting someone. So much more effort. And the usual crepuscular chin-wag simply won’t be the same for any Tinkerbell worth her magic wand.

It would be a sort of a task for me to go out in California since it has a Nazi-like regime when it comes to ciggies. You can’t smoke and bars close at 2 a.m.! I mean, really, you can’t waste all those outfits in strung-out, after-hour parties, can you? The Big Apple is also divided in what they fondly call the "tali-ban," Bloomberg’s order to butt out the ciggies in restos and bars. Even Princess Caroline was seen smoking outside Ciprianis in New York. Will we have the power to oust royalty from indoor smoking, too? That remains to be seen.

I’m particularly sad about this rule. What is a night out when you can see everyone’s face clearly without the comfort of a vespertine smoke screen? Mental pictures of nights before will now be seriously altered without Puff the magic dragon crawling about. Will virgin cocktails be the next order?

It sort of kills that naughty hedonistic vibe of nights out. It’s like partying in a hospital. But that’s just me and I’m an inconsiderate smoker.

Of course, others like Frieda Dario, associate editor of Metro magazine, a reformed belcher who developed asthma, opines that "I’ll probably lose sleep over how good laws are merely suggestions in this country but I’ll get over it...or die from other people’s smoke before it’s ever taken seriously."

So what are the possibilities now for the Makati bears? Well, maybe a Green-belt branch somewhere beyond EDSA (the border!).

I guess we all need to evaluate other things that should be banned in Makati. Ferraris and Porches parked in streets – thus, creating traffic – are good to boot. Trance music while eating lunch in cafes merits an order. So do diluted cocktails that taste like cough syrup, (unless they contain cough syrup then that’s a completely different order).

Bar owners, of course, are not too peachy about the new developments. I mean, look at lounge culture’s predecessor cafe society, every matron and gentleman lit up as they divided and conquered. Louie Ysmael, owner of one of the most prolific bars Makati, V and the Greygoose-wielding Nuvo, examines fate: "For me and all non-smokers, it’s a godsend, but for Nuvo and most importantly V, it’s a curse. I can safely speak for other bar and restaurant owners. It’s bad for business. Restaurants still have non-smoking areas so why mess with it? Bar goers expect smoke whether or not they are smokers, so it’s their choice. I’m just hoping that there will be a compromise."

Elbert Cuenca of 12 in Greenbelt 3 anticipates the negative effects of the law. "I find it outrageous that smoking has been turned into a crime, just like jaywalking and littering. It’s over the top and it fails to recognize the fact that a policy on no smoking will ultimately affect tourism as well."

Japanese, Chinese and European tourists may shy away from a country that has made smoking a crime. I think the law should be adjusted. The government should focus on catching officials and policemen who smoke, as well as smoke belching vehicles," Elbert says and adds that the Singapore law against smoking has done very little to establishments there and fears the same will happen here.

Philip Cu-Unjieng, who owns Dish, also feels the rashness of the law. "It’s been a real problem for us as groups walk in then leave as they realize what the situation is, but what can one do? It exists in New York and California. Maybe it would do during dinner hours but should be relaxed after 11 p.m." EJ Litton, Philip’s partner at Dish (along with Rikki Dee) and a non-smoker, reaffirms Philip’s views, "Given the time frame for establishments to create a smoking lounge is not enough and, after a certain time in the night, the establishment should be given the right to allow patrons to smoke as long as customers are informed beforehand." Marcel Crespo, the big daddy of Wherelse?, puts it simply, "I’m a non-smoker and I think it’s quite dumb. Talk about misplaced priorities! Fix the buses on EDSA!"

Like in NY, this local "tali-ban" has left the nocturnal public divided.

On the other hand, many revel on coming home still smelling like their laundry detergent. JM Rodriguez, entertainer and party fixture, comments, "I’ll be happy not coming home coughing from the smoke and smelling like it." Many chic human chimneys will find it hard to jettison their nicotine. As fashion designer Rhett Eala quips rather dryly, "It’s not funny."

Looks like a another scandale is on its way – at least for the Makati party hub. Let’s call it "A Tale of Two Chimneys!"