This writer recently received a mysterious gift from a boy named Harry Hotpot, who claims to be the Tibetan twin brother of Harry Potter. The gift was a computerized crystal ball with emissions of cryptic digital messages revealing an exciting bold scenario of the country 25 years hence.
Before 2028, when politicians and the traditional power elite failed to reform and not learned the lessons of history, a seismic people’s revolt against them combined with charter change transmogrified the Philippines into a raucous multi-party parliamentary system described by CNN as "That’s entertainment."
In 2028, the country inaugurates the Fiesta Republic under Prime Minister Sharon Cuneta-Pangilinan, who still looks telegenic, credible and dynamic at age 62. English and music have officially been declared as the two lingua franca of the nation, with the hope that the country would catch up with Laos, Mongolia, Bangladesh, Myanmar and Sri Lanka in global competitiveness.
Although largely ceremonial in its authority, the presidency is won by Dolphy, still potent at 90-plus years, still the "King of Comedy" and now supremo of his Remarkably Viagra-free Quizon (RVQ) Party. It is no surprise therefore when Prime Minister Sharon appoints Dolphy’s beloved Zsa Zsa Padilla as Philippine Ambassador to the United Nations, which is seen as a move to strengthen RVQ Party’s political coalition with the MegaParty.
At a massive May 1 general strike organized by radical unions, Prime Minister Sharon changes the mood of the angry crowd by singing her popular hit songs and urging laborers to sacrifice short-term comforts for the country’s long-term economic progress. She sings for national discipline and unity, angering the radical leftist leaders whose followers forget their clenched fists and instead begin dancing, thanks to the spellbinding Megastar. Her daughter KC delivers a rousing speech, pledging that their family’s Megastar Foundation will give out thousands of scholarships to the children of poor workers and farmers.
Prime Minister Sharon leads the MegaParty to a rousing victory in the 2028 parliamentary election. Among her allies are the Circus Politics Party (CCP) led by Ai Ai de las Alas (who is appointed Justice-for-All Secretary, hoping that her boisterous humor can energize the stuffy judicial system paralyzed by backlog). Ramon "Bong" Revilla Jr. of the Agimat Forever Party (AFP) is appointed Defense Secretary after he promises huge savings in national military spending due to his family’s huge collection of amulets and anting-antings.
The Federation of Filipino-Chinese Chambers of Commerce and Industry, Inc. (FFCCCII) president Julia Roberts Dy expresses support for the "Fiesta Republic" by donating 250,000 asado siopaos to the inaugural of the Prime Minister, but her business rival Nicole Kidman Go of the Chinese Mooncake Business Club expresses support for opposition leader Kris Aquino by donating P333,000 bola-bola siopaos.
The largest-circulation newspaper Philippine Superstar reports that PM Sharon has just named other members of her new cabinet – the still seductive Aubrey Miles as Secretary of Highways (to oversee "miles and miles of asphalt highways" daw, the press secretary’s office announced), the entrepreneurial Jolina Magdangal as Secretary of Barter Trade and Cottage Industries, the still sprightly Mother Lily Monteverde as Secretary of Education & Popular Culture, the still voluptuous Joyce Jimenez as Secretary of Abundant Natural Resources, the still sexy Ara Mina as Secretary of Abundant Fruits and Agriculture, the still alluring Assunta de Rossi as Secretary of Public Works and Private Pleasures, Judy Ann Santos as Secretary of Interior & Exterior, Ruffa Gutierrez Bektas as Secretary for International Affairs, Rufa Mae Quinto as Secretary of Physical Fitness (whose slogan is "Exercise daily for healthy lungs"), Regine Velasquez as Secretary in charge of the National Commission for Concerts & Fiestas (NCCF).
In Laoag City, former Bench model and now newly-reelected Governor Borgy Marcos Manotoc announces that Ilocos Norte has won the bid to host the 2028 Ilocano Balikbayans International Convention (IBII), which is expected to gather 5,000 Ilocano community leaders from California, Hawaii, Canada, New York, Mindanao and other places worldwide. He claims that Ilocanos form a majority of the 21 million overseas Filipinos and OFWs worldwide.
To her credit, Kris graciously concedes the election to Sharon’s MegaParty but vows to keep alive the opposition forces in parliament. Kris in her May 1 speech during a huge rally in her family’s Luisita Amusement Park and Carnival Estate in Tarlac province squelches rumors that she is courting Borgy Marcos Manotoc and his Kilusang Bagong Lipunan (KBL) party to join her GASP! coalition, which will try to force a Vote of No Confidence against Prime Minister Sharon.
Allan K of the Clowns in Politics Party (CPP) has pledged the votes of his legislators to Kris, due to his intense rivalry with CPP high priestess Ai-Ai de las Alas who is allied with Prime Minister Sharon’s MegaParty. The international mass media are agog with the hilarious parliamentary debates between Allan K and Ai Ai de las Alas. The Communist Party of the Philippines (CPP) howls in righteous indignation at what it says is "decadent capitalist toilet humor" by the two humor parties using its acronym CPP, while the Reds angrily announce their "improved and loftier" new name – "Serious Communist Revolutionary Agenda Party" or SCRAP! Two weeks later, SCRAP Politburo chairman Atty. Eustaquio Laging-Galit vehemently condemns as "black propaganda" the news reports that their party mascot is Scooby Doo’s nemesis Scrappy Doo.
On the appointment of Bong Revilla as Defense Secretary of the Fiesta Republic, Kris Aquino’s only public comment is that if her GASP! coalition wins parliamentary majority in the future, she will hand-pick veteran action star Robin Padilla of the Kuya Kong Bad-boy (KKB) Party as her Defense Secretary and her former foot spa business partner Carlos Agassi as Defense Undersecretary. Kris says that if she becomes prime minister, her GASP! party will blast away the rebel forces of the Moro Republican Army (MRA) and the Communist-dominated Philippine Army for Liberation and Popular Action (PALPAC).
The rise of the Fiesta Republic in 2028 coincides with the Vatican’s elevation of the former bishop of Iloilo as His Eminence Guillermo Cardinal Tong, now the primate of the Philippine Catholic Church and also the Archbishop of Manila. When asked to comment on the phenomenon of Dolphy winning as president, Sharon as prime minister and Kris as opposition leader, Cardinal Tong smiles and says, "Dolphy is my favorite comedian, Sharon is my favorite singer-actress and Kris is still my favorite talk show host, but it is my policy not to comment on political matters." Cardinal Tong tells the Philippine Superstar that he will lobby for the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) to stop opposing family planning, stop opposing the mining industry liberalization and other non-religious and non-moral issues. Cardinal Tong says, "Today, the Catholic Church must reform and help the Fiesta Republic achieve its goal of happiness for all."
By the way, in the past years, new religious movements have grown stronger nationwide, including the Templo de Sagrada led by Ka Manoling Walang-Talo, the Victory in the Lord (VIL) led by Brother Edilberto Victoriano, Ang Madaling Daan led by Eleazar Soprano and El Miraculo charismatic group led by Miguel de Valle-Verde.
Prime Minister Sharon Cuneta says she will evaluate a proposal to export majority of the lawyers in the Philippines since the country has more lawyers than any other Asian country (perhaps except India).
Instead of exporting musical bands and entertainers to the rest of Asia, an economic study by the UP School of Third World Economics recommended that the Fiesta Republic should aggressively push a policy for the retention of this wealth of talent inside the country to woo tourists who wish to enjoy world-class music and other forms of entertainment.
Rivaling Hollywood of America and Bollywood of India, Metro Manila will be made into a favorite place for the world’s movie producers to create their films. One of the new plans is to have the former Manila Film Center rehabilitated and transformed into the Manila Museum of World Cinema. The country plans to revive the Imelda Marcos project, the Manila International Film Festival as Manila Mega-Global Film Festival, which seeks to become the Cannes of Asia. Named the director-general of this annual filmfest is former showbiz manager Lolit Solis.
Local brand names like Bench, Penshoppe, Human and others have become global brands in the apparel industry despite the mushrooming of adventurous copycats like Benchpress, Penshoplifter and Super-Human. Also successful in the garments industry in recent years was the rise of Jogger’s jeans, Guestroom jeans, Uncle Lee jeans and other new local bestsellers.
Not all is bad news in the Philippines in year 2028 – even the Jolliburger restaurant chain makes a strong presence in the home territory of world leader McDonald’s, opening stores all over America and other cities worldwide. Jolliburger also launches its own Kopenhagen ice cream parlors, its Chickenjoy restaurant chain, Donut Magic shops, and other ventures. Hendrik Sy III unveils his newest retail mall called SuperMega-Mall of ASEAN in Canlubang, which is already part of the expanded Mega-Metro Manila region.
The Abrozalis clan of Metro Cebu strengthens their hold on the shipping industry and electric power. The Razonable clan still manages the port operations. Globus Telecom of the Zobra de Madrid clan, Smartest Telecom and the Sunrise Cellular of Johanson Gaw-than-chi, Jr. have forged an unholy alliance to oppose the granting of a new cellular franchise to upstart "Mami King" Erickson Chin-Ho-Chio and his "Mami Telecom."
Another glimmer of hope on the horizon is the news that San Isidro Beer, Santo Tomas Rhum, Ginebra de San Ignacio, Beerkada Beer, Pag-Asa Cigarettes, Long Life Cigarettes, Jolliburger, Globus Telecom, Sunrise Cellular, Regallia Films and El Miraculo charismatic movement will establish the Philippine Soccer League (PSL), with the goal of stopping the country’s over-indulgence in basketball where height limitations have forever prevented Filipino teams from winning in the Olympics or world championships.
Asked to comment on the business community’s unprecedented Coalition of the Willing to push for soccer, which is the world’s most popular spectator sport, President Dolphy gives an exclusive interview to the Philippine Superstar, declaring, "Pareho lang yan naman eh. It is all the same... basketball, football, volleyball, fishballs, squidballs, bola-bola or asado, whatever makes the citizens of our great Fiesta Republic happy is OK with me. Basta may mga bols, OK yan, approved ni Presidente!"