To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the heart and mind to be single or permanently attached has always perplexed man for ages. They say a man needs four women in his life a baby to protect and caress, a siren to fulfill his sexual fantasies, a mother to pamper and spoil him, and a maid to do his household chores.
On the other hand, they say a woman needs four animals in her life a mink on her back, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger on her bed, and an ass to pay for it all. Seriously, I believe that women, like men, also need a baby to protect and caress, a hunk or a wimp (different strokes for different folks!) to fulfill her sexual fantasies, a father to pamper, spoil and scold her, and a sugar daddy to pay for it all.
In this complex society, you have many, many choices. But two are the major ones: single blessedness or committed doublehood. If you were not married or irreversibly confirmed single, which status would you choose?
Marriage, on the other hand, is a plural state and thus never lonely. Married people have a ready date to go with, where and when they please. They can look forward to Valentines Day, birthdays and anniversaries, and build a nest, a family and a future. Committed people can depend on each others income but the expenses are always times two. Although their shared income may be more, when the children come, there will be more mouths to feed and bodies to clothe, shelter, and send to school.
Before You take my breath away.
After Oh, you are suffocating me!
Before She loves the way I am in control.
After She calls me a controlling, manipulating egomaniac.
Before Dont stop.
After Dont you even try.
Before The Sound of Music.
After The Sound of Silence.
Before Honey, is that all you are eating?
After I think you should just have a salad, honey.
Before Its like living a dream.
After Its a living nightmare.
Before A dozen red roses.
After Not even a stem.
Before Turbo-charged.
After Needs a jumpstart.
Before Victorias Secret.
After Just keep it a secret.
Before Time stands still.
After This relationship is going nowhere.
Before Croissant and cappuccino.
After Pan de sal and instant coffee.
Before Oysters Rockefeller.
After Fish balls.
Before I do.
After Judo, Aikido and Tae Kwon Do
Before Romeo and Juliet.
After Bill and Hillary.
And listen to these anecdotes. A son asks his dad, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesnt know his wife until he marries her?" The dad replies, "That happens in every country, son." Then he asks, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replies, "I dont know son, Im still paying."
For those who choose to get into a commitment, here are some words to live by: "Never ever argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute." For those whod rather stay single, enjoy your freedom Before Mr. or Ms. Right stumbles your way. Oh, and relish those Laundromat days. By the way, do you know whats so blessed about being single? The good fortune of not having a mother-in-law!
My friend Lena finally has a ready answer every time someone asks when she is getting married. She now retorts with a naughty wink, "Why be a pain in the ass for one when you can be a joy to many?"