Betty’s legacy

Betty Go-Belmonte (December 31, 1933-January 28, 1994)

Betty Go-Belmonte left an undying legacy – a legacy of love and compassion for other human beings, especially the less fortunate. Among conflicting parties and egos, she was the quiet but effective mediator and peacemaker. She was forgiving even of those who cheated her in business and betrayed her professional concerns. She was tolerant and appeared quiescent to a fault that people often underestimated her political savvy and business acumen. In college, whenever there was a stage play, she took the role of a supporting character. And in other social activities, she kept in the background even though she was actually the one who was behind the success of the activity. And I’m not referring only to the material resources she provided, like supplies, transportation, food, etc. She made all of us feel at ease and comfortable working together.

Although Betty possessed unusual talents, she was diffident and humble. Each time she received an award – like the Caritas Award from Cardinal Jaime Sin and the Civic Award from Ateneo de Manila University – she insisted that she accepted the award in behalf of others more deserving than she.

She was a very good writer, journalist, publisher, administrator and civic leader. Her column, which she wrote for the Philippine STAR entitled "Pebbles," indicated how she viewed her role in society. I believe that she deliberately chose the imagery of pebbles precisely because like her, pebbles are the most common but durable building blocks of structures, both natural and man-made. Pebbles being the outcome of the long weathering of the elements – of rain, sun, wave action, of plant, animal and human interventions – exemplify her own character. Betty, as Pebbles, thought of herself as the humble, unassuming, self-effacing instrument of God. Everything she did was for the purpose of realizing the sacred purpose of our Lord Jesus Christ. To her, Jesus Christ was the embodiment of God who worked in human affairs and provided the moral and sacred purpose to life. Journalists and newspapermen were cynical and incredulous of her religiosity. Betty remained calm and serene against the prevailing distrust and cynicism of anything holy and sacred. She possessed throughout her life an unequalled calm and equanimity. She remained steadfast in her belief that He lives among us here and now. To serve God’s purpose was the continuing thread in her life. To this day, Betty’s life radiates its abundant gifts to so many people who, like myself, had the privilege of knowing her.

But let me reveal some of the intimate and memorable experiences I had with Betty, my longtime friend and associate since high school days. Being an orphan, I could only go to college on a scholarship. I could not afford to buy our textbooks and references. Betty, the ever helpful and generous friend, invited me regularly to study at her home where I was treated as a member of the household. You should be reminded that her father, Go Puan Seng, publisher-editor of the Fookien Times, for all his liberal, democratic beliefs remained a very strict Confucian patriarch, particularly when it came to raising his spirited children – Betty, Cecily, Dorcy, Elsie, Fely who died in infancy, Andrew and Gracy. Being the eldest, Betty was expected to be the model to the younger siblings. Girls should be home before nightfall and must ask permission to go anywhere. Parties that involved dancing with boys, where alcoholic drinks were served or there was smoking, were prohibited. Dating was, of course, anathema. Going to the movies was restricted to children’s cartoons and Walt Disney features. Mr. Go must have forgotten that his daughters were maturing to womanhood. I remember one particular movie that was widely advertised that the Go teenagers wanted so much to see: Love is a Many Splendoured Thing. The younger sisters begged Betty to get permission to see the film. It so happened that Mr. Go was busy at the office and could not be reached. Succumbing to her sisters’ pleadings, Betty marshaled chauffeur and car and brought all of us to Ideal Theater (that was to become the first SM store). Mr. Go Puan Seng was very mad when we returned home. The frightened girls ran up to their bedrooms leaving Betty to receive the severe scolding. She listened calmly until her father quieted down. Then she brought forth a clever explanation of the movie that satisfied Mr. Go. It was an astute display of her skills in literary criticism. The movie, she said, was not only about the love affair of a Chinese doctor (Han Suyin) and an American journalist. It was also about the impact of the Chinese revolution on the lives of ordinary people. Betty kept silent that the film, like most Hollywood movies, sidetracked the historical and political dimensions for the love scenes. Mr. Go was not only pacified but to our collective horror, he wanted to see the movie himself! We were so relieved when it turned out that the day we went was the last day of the film showing.

Betty was the ever helpful, understanding achie to her younger siblings. She guided them and was always ready to get them out of difficulties and help them overcome their shortcomings. She tempered arrogance and selfishness, smoothened rough behavior, ironed out quirks of character, and prevented sibling skirmishes from exploding into a combat. All this she did always with grace and good humor.

I vividly remember Dorcy when she was suffering from anorexia. For over two years, Mrs. Go brought her to all kinds of doctors who tried all sorts of medication on her but to no avail. Betty and I often combed the house for hidden laxatives and appetite depressants and cautioned everyone in the household to help Dorcy eat. As Dorcy’s health plunged, Mrs. Go became very desperate. Betty’s calm patience and love for Dorcy and her mother was really astounding. She motivated Dorcy to get out of her shell by encouraging her to play the piano. We spent hours listening intently to Dorcy’s music, applauding her to keep playing. To make her exercise and build up an appetite, Betty also got Dorcy to participate in sports. That was how I learned to play badminton, losing most of the time to Dorcy. Within weeks, our amateur psychiatrist Betty got Dorcy to eat again.

When Andrew, her one and only brother, enrolled at the University of the Philippines, knowing that he needed guidance, she instructed me to "make him work hard and discipline him."

Though she remained a faithful and devout daughter to Go Puan Seng the Confucian patriarch, Betty sometimes adjusted to particular circumstances and to a larger goal. The goings-on in the Go family dramatized the tensions that arose in trying to deal with the dilemma of combining the heritage of Chinese culture and Confucian ethics with Protestant Christian and western liberalism within the Philippine setting. There is no doubt that Betty personified the synthesis of these extraordinary and contradictory cultural ingredients. She was proud of her Chinese heritage and she sincerely wanted to follow Confucian ethics. But she was also a Filipino by education, training and socialization. In fact, she preferred joining UP Filipino students’ associations and activities in the belief that Filipino-Chinese ought to associate more closely with native Filipinos. Indeed, Mr. Go sent most of his children to UP to make them interact more closely with Filipinos in order to dispel the prejudices from both Filipinos and Chinese, and imbibe, in his words, "a good Philippine education."

Mr. Go’s democratic liberalism and sympathy for the Filipinos was put to the test when Betty fell in love with Sonny Belmonte and wanted to marry him, a Filipino no less! Naturally, like most Filipino-Chinese at that time, Mr. and Mrs. Go were furious – or to put it more aptly, they were wary of the impact it would have on the Filipino-Chinese community who comprised the readers of the Fookien Times. Despite all attempts to dissuade her, including presenting Chinese bachelors for her scrutiny, Betty, like the liberated and strong-willed woman that she was, could not be dissuaded. After months of courtship, even Mrs. Go agreed with Betty and I that the young Belmonte had many outstanding qualities and that he was a promising leader. Sonny’s many charms and talents, his diplomatic skills and perseverance won the day. When the impending marriage was made public, the Chinese Commercial News published a series of articles critical of the marriage. The articles contradicted the paper’s avowed policy of persuading overseas Chinese to integrate within the countries of their permanent residence. Such was the contradictory nature of the Filipino-Chinese community then and now. Eventually, Betty’s marriage to Sonny proved to be an exemplary union, the pride and joy of both the Go Puan Seng and Belmonte clans.

When it was my turn to get married – like Betty’s family, mine also objected to my marrying a Chinese – I was scolded, thus: "Mag-aasawa ka na rin ng banyaga, bakit Intsik pa, sana Americano na lang." (If you have to marry a foreigner, why a Chinese, at least marry an American.) Since both families objected, Betty and Mrs. Go represented my husband-to-be Benito’s absent family at the wedding ceremony and Betty acted as our wedding sponsor.

At our last meeting before she departed from this life, although she was obviously in pain, she was on the phone trying to help a father whose daughter was killed. She asked me to watch over her daughter Joy who wanted to seek a career in archaeology. I assured her that she raised Joy so well that she is very capable and could very well manage without my help. She smiled and dozed off to sleep.

Betty looked upon material wealth with a strong sense of Christian stewardship. She believed that whatever material resources we have must be used for civic purposes and in the service of God. She disdained extravagance and senseless consumption. I am one of the many beneficiaries of her generosity and her wisdom. She was always ready to contribute to our projects as long as they helped instill civic responsibility, historical consciousness, and love of country. She helped us undertake projects during the centenary of the publication of the Filibusterismo when we held a conference on the role of Dr. Jose Rizal in advancing freedom of the press in our country. Likewise, she helped me undertake the project on the Laguna Copperplate Inscription when we brought together scholars to examine and authenticate the inscription. Betty’s continuing support to this type of activities lives on in the exemplary work of Quezon City Mayor Sonny Belmonte who is helping us commemorate the centennial of the labor movement, of religious freedom and the founding of the Philippine Independent Church. Her legacy lives on in her sons Isaac, Miguel, Kevin, her daughter Joy, her grandchildren, numerous friends and admirers. The Midas legend says that his touch turned anything into gold, an expensive but cold, heartless metal. Betty’s touch was priceless – it moved us with love and faith that made us all better human beings. Betty’s legacy lives on as long as we keep faith with her memory and her deeds.