How to survive a breakup

You’ve just been dumped. The one who you thought would bring eternal music and roses to your life just said goodbye. Of course, you are devastated and feel like you’ve been downtrodden, used and violated. That’s but natural. That’s your self-preservation instinct working for you.

Before you start to wallow in self-pity, read on and take charge of your life. Life doesn’t end because there is one fellow less in your life. Think of him/her as (like that once popular song recommends) "one less bell to answer, one less egg to fry." There are thousands of fish in the ocean. And many are better looking and more colorful (even richer!) than the one that got away.

So, dear get a hold of yourself and:

• Thank your lucky stars, the dummy is out of your life.

Good you found out early enough that he/she is not the one for you. Can you imagine what a fiasco it would have been had you gotten married to each other then he/she dropped you? Don’t say "Goodbye"; instead, say "Good riddance!"

• Take care of number one.

Take care of yourself. Don’t give the guy/girl importance that he/she doesn’t deserve. Get sleep, eat well, and pamper yourself. Look good, lose weight, and learn new things. Improve your life!

• Get busy.

Keep your mind away from memories of him/her. Get involved in activities that involve you totally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Instead of feeling low and dejected, use your time to be productive. Try helping someone in need.

• Enjoy your newfound freedom.

Freedom is an exhilarating gift. Take solo walks; take time to enjoy the golden sun and blue skies. Remember that you were born alone and you are gonna go alone (unless you were born with a Siamese twin!). Go out and meet exciting, new people!

• Find out the true reasons why he/she called it quits.

There once was a guy who was perplexed to the point of insanity when his wife suddenly turned cold and emotionless overnight. He later found out that she was having a same-sex affair. Find out the true reason why your boyfriend/girlfriend opted to say goodbye. He/she may be gay, for all you know. Different strokes for different folks! Consider all other reasons, too.

• Think of the top three things you hated about him/her.

Yes, think of the top three things you hated about him/her. It could be that he/she was always late, was inconsiderate. Maybe he/she had bad breath. Whatever the reasons are, be happy you won’t have to suffer through all those ever again.

• Realize that when God closes a door, He opens a thousand new windows.

Yes, the universe is full of infinite possibilities. But how can you avail of these marvelous opportunities when you are still hanging on to ghost memories of your past relationship’ Break free and open the thousand doors before you. At this point, literally, the world can be yours!

• Get someone new.

If you feel like you need someone to complete your life, look for somebody new. The only way to fill a vacuum is to fill it with something else or someone new. Look forward to meeting that special someone who will mean much more to you and bring greater magic into your life.

• Accept that it’s the way it is supposed to be.

In the universe, there are no mistakes. Everything is just the way it’s supposed to be. If the relationship didn’t work, look for a relationship that will. Acceptance is the starting point of moving on.

• Realize that living well is the best revenge.

Thinking of revenge’ Forget it. You’ll just be energizing him/her and feeding his/her ego. Don’t get mad; get the best for yourself instead. You deserve to be happy – to get the very finest in life. Go for the best and ensure your own happiness!

• Know that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.

Don’t let unpleasant events in your life take the better of you. Realize that these are all external occurrences. How you let yourself be affected within, determines whether you’ll end up a loser or emerge as the winner. Take control of your life. You will have to make choices and decisions. Bear in mind that life is a series of hellos and goodbyes.

• Pray.

Ask for divine guidance to be able to forgive whatever is unforgivable; ask for clarity to be able to understand what is incomprehensible. Pray for strength to endure these tests we are constantly faced with. Especially these silly and strange but unavoidable games that people play.

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Our Thoughts Make Our Life

Deepak Chopra says that everything in the universe is composed of energy and information. What makes gold different from lead is the energy and information inscribed in its atoms. The same holds true and differentiates a diamond from a piece of glass. Although everything in creation is made from the same basic elements, it is the energy and information in the atomic and sub-atomic levels that differentiate that which we value to that which we don’t.

The same principle applies to people. All of us, too, are beings of energy and information. The codified information in our DNA determines our genetic and physical makeup. The miraculous thing about us human beings though, is that we can update the other set of information we carry by adding to our thought and idea data bank (the brain) through learning. What we hold in our mind determines the kind of life we live.

Gautama Buddha says, "All that we are is a result of what we have thought." Our life is the sum total of all the thoughts we fill our mind with in this time-space continuum. What we program into our brain determines whether we become a winner or loser in life, a failure or a great success.

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Reprogramming For Success

We can reprogram our minds for success by changing our negative attitudes, as well as our failure and mediocrity consciousness. For those interested, I have put together one dynamic seminar entitled "Make Your Impossible Dreams Come True," a powerful self-improvement seminar, the first of its kind ever to be offered in the Philippines.

In this four and a half-hour session, you will learn the 12 Failure Anchors that keep you from being successful, the 8 Secret Universal Principles that you can use to achieve your impossible dreams, the 5 powerful Dream Achievement Techniques including Creative Visualization and Emotioimagineering, Man’s 12 Ultimate Goals in Life, plus many more effective success tips and secret formulas.

The next sessions are on July 6 and 13, Saturday, from 4-8:30 pm. For particulars, e-mail DeroSeminar@yahoo.com and text or call Deena at 0920-4053233. See you there!

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I’d love to hear from you! E-mail deeperdoor@yahoo.com. Should you want to forward this article, be sure to mention the author Dero Pedero and acknowledge The Philippine Star. The reprinting, recording or publishing of this article in any form including the Web requires copyright permission from the author.