What are the joys of fatherhood?
June 16, 2002 | 12:00am
In the past, mom stayed home and raised the kids while dad worked and brought home the bacon. Nowadays, mom and dad work, so the task of raising kids and plumbing problems are shared by both parents.
For some fathers, bringing up children is a challenge. For others, it comes naturally. Parenting is a great responsibility, but the joys that come with it are always greater.
I enjoyed doing this week’s forum. The fathers I interviewed broke into smiles and their eyes twinkled as soon as I popped my Father’s Day question. It confirms my belief that indeed, there is nothing quite like the joy of being a father.
Louie Puyat, banker: The joys of fatherhood are the simple things. Hanging out at home, walking around the village or eating a home-cooked meal. Enjoying each other’s company, basically. We do things together and have fun being together. Parenthood is a chance to relive your childhood through your kids, and at the same time, respecting their individuality. My wife Nina and I are partners in their development and we are doing our best to prepare them for the real world. At the same time, we try to build happy memories with them. It’s amazing to watch them grow up and become independent and responsible. In the end, we want them to be hardworking, responsible citizens and morally upright Christians.
Richard Gomez, actor, TV host, S Files: Having a loving wife and raising a happy child. Juliana waking me up with, "I love you so much, Dad." After a long day, going home and getting an unlimited supply of hugs and kisses.
Rep. Willie Buyson Villarama, 2nd District, Bulacan: I consider myself singularly blessed for having a brood of talented, lovely and accomplished daughters until R.M. came into my life 11 years ago. R.M. fills the void in our lives, brings a delightful symmetry to the family and completes the joy in the Villarama home. Now, with Tessie, my wonderful daughters and a delightful son, there is more music, laughter and light in our house. I thank the good and merciful Lord for this gift.
Jojo Guingona, photographer: Teaching my kids things that my parents taught me. Introducing them to new ideas and concepts which I found fascinating as a child and seeing their reaction. Lastly, feeling happy after a pillow fight on the bed with my kids!
Mannix Ortega, businessman/chief of staff of Rep. Manuel R. Ortega: This question overwhelms me because the joys of being a father are unending. No matter how tired I am after a hard day’s work, being with my children always gives me energy. My ultimate goal is to see them grow up to be decent, God-fearing Christians. This would be my biggest joy!
Ricky Davao, actor, director: I used to think that the saying "Ang mga bata nagpapaalis pagod" was a cliché. Then I became a father. My joys of being a father are simple. Every little thing I do with them and for them makes me happy. Waking up early to bring them to school, eating with them, being with them and watching them – these activities make me happy and fulfilled. Others think they are sacrifices, but for me they’re simple joys that make my day. Being a father for 13 years I’ve learned to be very, very patient. Physical presence and quality time are very important. Even when I’m abroad I call them every day and do a roll call. I make sure I talk to each of my children. I have constant communication with them. To be a good father, you have to be a good listener. I try not to get angry with my children. And if ever I scold them, I make sure I explain why.
Atom Henares, businessman: There are three phases to a joyful fatherhood:
First, there’s the joy of making the baby. To some, this joy extends beyond conception and even up to the point of childbirth! We bring our children into the world without their consent and at our own pleasure. We owe them more than they owe us.
The second phase is the joy of firsts. The first time our children sit up, crawl, stand and walk. Their first words, first haircut, first day in school, first graduation. These firsts are forever etched in our minds.
In the third phase, our children’s lives are a succession of milestones in fast-forward mode until we fathers are rudely awakened to find that they are already grown-up, going on dates, graduating, having their first jobs and getting married. Then they have their own children and experience their own joys of parenthood.
In the end, the joys of fatherhood come from high hopes and great expectations that our children will become better than us. We take pride in them and cherish their every accomplishment.
Gary Valenciano, singer: Fatherhood is one of the most difficult jobs anyone can have. Oh, but the rewards! No matter how simple, the joys are priceless seen through the eyes and heart of a father. Here are some of the joys of being a father to my three awesome children:
1. Laughing at the dinner table when someone narrates a funny experience that happened during the day.
2. Talking with my eldest son Paolo about life‘s ups and downs. Listening to his problems; Paolo listening to my advice. Seeing him perform onstage and realizing he’s my own flesh and blood.
3. Seeing Gabriel play his best on the court and knowing that I have been given the responsibility of molding him.
4. Hearing my daughter Kiana sing day in and day out and once in a while giving me a hug and whispering, "I love you, Papa."
5. Having been given the privilege of raising three beautiful children.
6. Surviving the pressures of being a showbiz family.
7. Learning from my Father in heaven and applying valuable lessons in my children’s lives.
8. Watching movies, going to theme parks, going to the beach, traveling to other countries – all these we’ve done together as a family.
9. Seeing how my children strive to live good lives and many times practice what we’ve taught them.
My family is not perfect, but we have learned to keep our communication lines open. We sometimes don’t see eye to eye but as a father, I have come to realize that I, too, can learn from my children. From this comes respect for each other.
We still have a lot to learn. One thing I know is that the honor of serving, caring and living with my children will never diminish. Together with my wife, Angeli, these are my greatest gifts and as a father, my greatest joys.
Leo Martinez, comedian: The joy of fatherhood starts when the baby is born and you didn’t have to deliver it. You just sit there welcoming visitors and accepting their congratulations. Then comes the sense of accomplishment when you prepare the milk bottle and change diapers. After that comes the pride when you see your kids go to school. You shed tears of joy when you watch them graduate at any level. Or perform in their Christmas programs. You feel the joy when the kids outgrow their shoes and clothes, when you accompany them to parties and family outings and when you pray together in church. You feel the joy when the children welcome you home from work. Or when you come home late and they are peacefully sleeping, you see a note telling you that they love you and they did well in school. There is also joy when you help them solve big and small problems, when you wipe away their tears and they smile when they say, "Thank you for everything." Ahh, the simple joys of fatherhood.
Jojo Lastimosa, basketball player, Alaska Aces: Fatherhood is an opportunity to mold a child’s character and to help him/her reach his or her potential. It is a big challenge, but it is also rewarding. As a child grows, he/she will make mistakes. Being there to help and guide him/her is one of the true joys of fatherhood.
For some fathers, bringing up children is a challenge. For others, it comes naturally. Parenting is a great responsibility, but the joys that come with it are always greater.
I enjoyed doing this week’s forum. The fathers I interviewed broke into smiles and their eyes twinkled as soon as I popped my Father’s Day question. It confirms my belief that indeed, there is nothing quite like the joy of being a father.
Louie Puyat, banker: The joys of fatherhood are the simple things. Hanging out at home, walking around the village or eating a home-cooked meal. Enjoying each other’s company, basically. We do things together and have fun being together. Parenthood is a chance to relive your childhood through your kids, and at the same time, respecting their individuality. My wife Nina and I are partners in their development and we are doing our best to prepare them for the real world. At the same time, we try to build happy memories with them. It’s amazing to watch them grow up and become independent and responsible. In the end, we want them to be hardworking, responsible citizens and morally upright Christians.
Richard Gomez, actor, TV host, S Files: Having a loving wife and raising a happy child. Juliana waking me up with, "I love you so much, Dad." After a long day, going home and getting an unlimited supply of hugs and kisses.
Jojo Guingona, photographer: Teaching my kids things that my parents taught me. Introducing them to new ideas and concepts which I found fascinating as a child and seeing their reaction. Lastly, feeling happy after a pillow fight on the bed with my kids!
Mannix Ortega, businessman/chief of staff of Rep. Manuel R. Ortega: This question overwhelms me because the joys of being a father are unending. No matter how tired I am after a hard day’s work, being with my children always gives me energy. My ultimate goal is to see them grow up to be decent, God-fearing Christians. This would be my biggest joy!
Ricky Davao, actor, director: I used to think that the saying "Ang mga bata nagpapaalis pagod" was a cliché. Then I became a father. My joys of being a father are simple. Every little thing I do with them and for them makes me happy. Waking up early to bring them to school, eating with them, being with them and watching them – these activities make me happy and fulfilled. Others think they are sacrifices, but for me they’re simple joys that make my day. Being a father for 13 years I’ve learned to be very, very patient. Physical presence and quality time are very important. Even when I’m abroad I call them every day and do a roll call. I make sure I talk to each of my children. I have constant communication with them. To be a good father, you have to be a good listener. I try not to get angry with my children. And if ever I scold them, I make sure I explain why.
Atom Henares, businessman: There are three phases to a joyful fatherhood:
First, there’s the joy of making the baby. To some, this joy extends beyond conception and even up to the point of childbirth! We bring our children into the world without their consent and at our own pleasure. We owe them more than they owe us.
The second phase is the joy of firsts. The first time our children sit up, crawl, stand and walk. Their first words, first haircut, first day in school, first graduation. These firsts are forever etched in our minds.
In the third phase, our children’s lives are a succession of milestones in fast-forward mode until we fathers are rudely awakened to find that they are already grown-up, going on dates, graduating, having their first jobs and getting married. Then they have their own children and experience their own joys of parenthood.
In the end, the joys of fatherhood come from high hopes and great expectations that our children will become better than us. We take pride in them and cherish their every accomplishment.
Gary Valenciano, singer: Fatherhood is one of the most difficult jobs anyone can have. Oh, but the rewards! No matter how simple, the joys are priceless seen through the eyes and heart of a father. Here are some of the joys of being a father to my three awesome children:
1. Laughing at the dinner table when someone narrates a funny experience that happened during the day.
2. Talking with my eldest son Paolo about life‘s ups and downs. Listening to his problems; Paolo listening to my advice. Seeing him perform onstage and realizing he’s my own flesh and blood.
3. Seeing Gabriel play his best on the court and knowing that I have been given the responsibility of molding him.
4. Hearing my daughter Kiana sing day in and day out and once in a while giving me a hug and whispering, "I love you, Papa."
5. Having been given the privilege of raising three beautiful children.
6. Surviving the pressures of being a showbiz family.
7. Learning from my Father in heaven and applying valuable lessons in my children’s lives.
8. Watching movies, going to theme parks, going to the beach, traveling to other countries – all these we’ve done together as a family.
9. Seeing how my children strive to live good lives and many times practice what we’ve taught them.
My family is not perfect, but we have learned to keep our communication lines open. We sometimes don’t see eye to eye but as a father, I have come to realize that I, too, can learn from my children. From this comes respect for each other.
We still have a lot to learn. One thing I know is that the honor of serving, caring and living with my children will never diminish. Together with my wife, Angeli, these are my greatest gifts and as a father, my greatest joys.
Leo Martinez, comedian: The joy of fatherhood starts when the baby is born and you didn’t have to deliver it. You just sit there welcoming visitors and accepting their congratulations. Then comes the sense of accomplishment when you prepare the milk bottle and change diapers. After that comes the pride when you see your kids go to school. You shed tears of joy when you watch them graduate at any level. Or perform in their Christmas programs. You feel the joy when the kids outgrow their shoes and clothes, when you accompany them to parties and family outings and when you pray together in church. You feel the joy when the children welcome you home from work. Or when you come home late and they are peacefully sleeping, you see a note telling you that they love you and they did well in school. There is also joy when you help them solve big and small problems, when you wipe away their tears and they smile when they say, "Thank you for everything." Ahh, the simple joys of fatherhood.
Jojo Lastimosa, basketball player, Alaska Aces: Fatherhood is an opportunity to mold a child’s character and to help him/her reach his or her potential. It is a big challenge, but it is also rewarding. As a child grows, he/she will make mistakes. Being there to help and guide him/her is one of the true joys of fatherhood.
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