Our Christmas wish list for VIPs
December 23, 2001 | 12:00am
The first Christmas happened without fanfare, feasting, music, foods, wines or glittering electric lights, but in a humble manger, was born Jesus Christ, God’s ultimate gift of love to save mankind. No exchange of gifts occurred. Faith and hope and love are the world’s best gifts.They cannot be bought, sold or bartered. They can only be given away. Christmas celebrations can be truly meaningful, if they can translate the heart’s intention–that yearning of the human spirit to express faith, hope and love.
On this greatest of holidays, this writer has drawn up a list of Christmas gifts for some Very Important People (VIPs):
1. President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo – A good sense of humor, teddy bear from Erap, fruit cake from Nur Misuari, a blind date with Senator Ping Lacson chaperoned by Rosebud and Ador Mawanay, and the Art of War book of Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu (for the many political battles and intrigues she has to confront now up to 2004).
2. US President George Walker Bush– An Afghan hound puppy, and a leftover Osama bin Laden Halloween mask.
3. Osama bin Laden– Bullet-proof vest and gas mask from comrade Saddam Hussein of Iraq
4. Ex-President Joseph Estrada – Since people oppose his Christmas furlough request, a gift of "Valentine’s Day furlough" for him to make conjugal visits to all his wives, also the gift of a big empty sack and a Santa Claus suit perfect for his portly physique, so he can act again in his favorite role as gift-giver to his friends, his legions of godchildren, his many girlfriends and his favorite masses.
5. San Miguel Corp. chairman Eduardo "Danding" Cojuangco Jr. – Japanese sake rice wine (to calm down tempers, just in case the Kirin beer entry into SMC is delayed by politics), a samurai sword for him to prepare for big battles ahead, also a gift certificate from Svenson hair treatment center.
6. PCGG chairman Haydee Yorac – Buko pie and one case of Kirin beer from Danding Cojuangco. Also the gift of a new hairdo from this writer, because this feisty courageous woman should learn from Margaret Thatcher that strong-willed women leaders can also have elegant hairstyles. Even Senator Hillary Clinton had changed and improved her hairdo.
7. First Gentleman Mike Arroyo – Gym membership and new golf clubs, so that he can spend more time trimming down his physique and to be farther away from the dangerous corridors of power
8. Former First Lady Imelda Marcos – A shoe factory in Marikina, so that she may no longer be tempted to splurge on new shoes overseas, rosary from Cardinal Sin, fruitcake from Cory Aquino
9. Jaime Cardinal Sin – A book of Erap jokes from Iglesia ni Cristo (INC) executive minister Eraño Manalo, a family planning manual from Senator Juan Flavier, fruitcake from Fidel Ramos, white roses from Imelda Marcos and lechon from Erap.
10. El Shaddai founder Mike Velarde – A newly-tailored suit from Jesus is Lord (JIL) movement founder Bishop Eddie Villanueva and a book on authentic Catholic cathechism from Cardinal Sin.
11.Former President Corazon C. Aquino – A teddy bear from Philip Salvador, make-up kit from Imelda Marcos, sisig and red wine from Erap, white roses from Gringo Honasan and Juan Ponce Enrile, and buko jam from cousin Danding Cojuangco.
12. Former President Fidel V. Ramos – Peace pipe from Erap and Danding Cojuangco to replace his old and overused tabako, a future contract for the next Centennial project, tape recording of Miriam Santiago singing Christmas carols with cassette player that cannot be turned off.
13. Speaker Joe de Venecia Jr. – Quotation from William Shakespeare: "Brevity is the soul of wit, and tediousness the outward limbs, and flourishes." Also the book Profiles in Courage by John F. Kennedy, about politicians who took unpopular but morally correct political decisions.
14. Former ARMM Governor Nur Misuari–Free one-way first-class plane ticket to Manila from President Gloria Arroyo or free one-way first-class ticket to Libya from Moammar Khaddafy.
15. Senate Majority Floor Leader Loren Legarda – Truckload of cell phones from controversial accuser Ador Mawanay.
16. Senator Panfilo "Ping" Lacson – Ping Pong sports set, so that Ping can relax with his friend Kim Wong or challenge to a duel his accuser Mary "Rosebud" Ong.
17. Tourism Secretary Dick Gordon – A private Lear jet, so the Flash Gordon can travel faster to all parts of the globe to sell his "Wow Philippines!" and a free tour package to Kabul, Afghanistan.
18. Senator Serge Osmeña – New bigger private plane, to replace his old one-engine plane which he claims was used by government to pay ransom to the Abu Sayyaf.
19. Senator Blas Ople – New thesaurus, so that this wordsmith legislator may have more choices of words in his erudite speeches
20. Former Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago – Pink roses from FVR, teddy bear from Senator Joker Arroyo, law books from Sec. Raul Roco, and the biography of the Dalai Lama from Jaime Cardinal Sin.
21. Senator Manny Villar – New low-cost house made of coco lumber from Danding Cojuangco, Dagupan bangus from Speaker Joe de Venecia.
22. Finance Secretary Lito Camacho – Yellow roses from Senator Tessie Aquino Oreta, fruitcake from Senator John Osmeña.
23. Philippine Airlines chairman Lucio Tan – An abacus to help him make quicker financial calculations, taxation law books from Liwayway Chato, also gift of one case of Cervesa Negra beer and piggy bank made of coconut from competitor Danding Cojuangco.
24. JG Summit Holdings founder John Gokongwei Jr. – A one-month forced vacation in the Carribean or the French Riviera since this workaholic industrialist had announced his retirement will start in year 2002, a diet book from his good friend ex-Central Bank Governor Gabby Singson.
25. GMA Network president Menardo Jimenez – Teddy bear from Gabby Lopez of ABS-CBN Broadcasting Corp., green mangoes from PLDT boss Manny Pangilinan and Dagupan bangus from Speaker Joe de Venecia.
26. PLDT boss Manny Pangilinan – Fruitcake from archrival Jaime Augusto Zobel de Ayala of Globe Telecom and Ayala Land.
27. Actress Joyce Jimenez – New sweaters, so she won’t catch cold with her breast-baring outfits in this cold December.
28. Actress Ara Mina – Singing lessons with Ryan Cayabyab, so that she can become a truly good singer.
29. Actress Rosanna Roces–Teddy bear from Manoling Morato and Bible from Cardinal Sin.
30. Actress Assunta de Rossi – Teddy bear also from MTRCB chairman Alejandro "Anding" Roces.
31. Actress Kris Aquino – Blind date and candle-light dinner at Padi’s Mindave Restaurant open-air garden with bachelor Trade Secretary Mar Roxas.
32. Actor Fernando Poe Jr. – Enrollment at Speechpower, so he can be better at making speeches just in case he may run for public office.
33. Actor Dolphy – A wedding ring, so the "King of Comedy" with many children, many women and no wife may finally walk down the aisle with a bride for the first time.
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