Six out of 10 women are victims of pre-marital rape by their present husbands or live-in partners. These women’s husbands were their rapists. You would think they were smart enough not to marry their rapists, or there was some law that already put their rapists in jail. Now that they are married, what would stop them from violating their wives?
Six out of 10 women were abused by their present partners during their relationship prior to marriage.
Sixty percent of battered women think or attempt suicide. For many women in abusive relationships, suicide is the only way out. If the law is not going to punish their abusers, maybe their own death would. So you ask, why stay in an abusive relationship? Some women are so used to being abused they don’t even recognize it. Societal pressure and financial hopelessness keep them from leaving their homes even when they are emotionally ready.
Fifty-seven percent of battered women deny or minimize the abuse.
These statistics are some of the findings of the Women’s Crisis Center, the first center for women survivors of rape, battering, incest, sexual harassment, prostitution and trafficking.
The numbers are shocking. But what is more shocking is the lack of support for women from the law, from the police and from society. You’d think in a world where women are the primary caregivers, they’d get the respect they deserve, yet in this day and age where men are supposed to be more enlightened, we see women coming to the office with bruises on their face — and still we allow them to go home to their abusers.
Every woman who finds herself walking home at night fears of being harassed or raped by a stranger. Every woman in a relationship can be forced to commit sex acts with her partner — sometimes, they do not even know it. Being forced to commit oral sex on your boyfriend — who would believe it’s rape? How many women are courageous enough to withstand the scrutiny of society, the insensitivity of the police, the ridicule of neighbors, the threats on her safety?
Domestic violence, trafficking of women and rape persist because "It’s an unequal society," says Dr. Sylvia Estrada-Claudio of Justice for Ma. Teresa Carlson and All Victims of Abuse task force. The UP professor and psychologist working with rape and domestic violence victims continues, "Men have far more privilege and power in society. In the home, people should be equal but they aren’t. It’s unjust and therefore use of force to keep it in place."
Where do you find parents who "return" their daughters to husbands who abuse them? Or a society that lets rapists get away with their crime when they marry the victim. "Isn’t that the most bullshit thing you’ve heard in your entire life?" says Dr. Claudio.
"We’re not asking for the moon, but just equal treatment," she continues. "If society constructs your world and you begin to accept inequality as natural and normal, you should be made more aware of your rights not in an abstract way but even of your rights as a human."
According to Jean Enriquez, deputy director of the Coalition Against Trafficking of Women, Asia Pacific, sex trafficking is another form of violence that continues unabated. "There is no Philippine law which squarely addresses trafficking, even as the Philippine is a signatory to the international human rights convention."
There have been bills filed in the past two Congresses on these issues, and in the present Congress, the bill on Abuse of Women in Intimate Relationships (AWIR) and trafficking in persons, especially women and children is still pending. Apparently, Congress does not deem the protection of women as a priority.
"Women are not treated as people by the people whom they love and are supposed to love them," says Dr. Claudio.
It’s not very difficult to talk to women about these issues, she says. But still there are women who are in power who do not speak out against this violence because it is the system that put them in power. Still, there are women who recognize that even though they’re playing along by the rules of men, "they know that the system stinks." "The power structure in out society is killing women or hurting them or maiming them at the very least."
To join in the struggle for awareness of these issues, the UP Sigma Alpha Nu Sorority recently sponsored the staging of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues by Monique Wilson’s New Voice Company (NVC) at the Music Museum (English) and at UP Los Banos (Filipino). Part of the proceeds are going to the Purple Rose and the Women’s Crisis Center.
"There was no other choice for a play to sponsor," says Jean, an alumna of the sorority, who has been active in the women’s movement since she was a UP student.
The project highlighted the sorority’s three basic principles of truth, reason and justice — principles every sorority sister lives by and carries with her after leaving school. Recent projects have included sponsorship of relevant plays such as Lean and Bata-Bata, Paano Ka Ginawa?
As a UP freshman and neophyte of the sorority 14 years ago, I and members of my batch were taught four things to pursue: academic excellence, social awareness, nationalism and uplift of women. The tradition of the sorority’s service to society is well entrenched in its young history. Alumnae and resident sisters include activists for social causes, especially where women and children are concerned, campus leaders and dedicated professionals.
That doesn’t mean, of course, that the sorority is all work and no fun. Even women with causes know how to have fun. On Nov. 27, during the staging of the English version of The Vagina Monologues, the event became a reunion of sorts for sorority sisters from three chapters and a chance to get to know one another.
According to alumna and project head Mike Portes-Borromeo, the project started in cyberspace when more and more sisters started joining the website’s e-groups. And she’s based in the Middle East with her husband at that!
The sorority also mounted photo exhibits on campus to highlight the situation women today face.
As Dr. Claudio points out, "We’re all victims, perhaps some more than others. Men walk in the streets freely, even murderers and rapists. Women cannot walk without fear of being raped or harassed in the streets even in broad daylight. They pass a construction site and men whistle at them as if they were dogs. Sumakay ka lang sa bus na crowded you’l feel somebody pressing his penis against you. We’re all victims here."
And in the words of Eve Ensler, "In order for the human race to continue, women must be safe and empowered. It’s an obvious idea, but like a vagina, it needs great attention and love in order to be revealed."