When it doesn’t pay to be first

Remember when we were kids? Our parents always pushed us to excel – it pays to be first, they said. First in class, that was surely a source of pride for family and friends. First in competition, which means being better than all the rest.

Even in the world of business, particularly in marketing – first was the standard. First was the trailblazer.

Why, the whole world looked up to first – not to second or third.

In the Philippines, though, there is a first that is turning out not to be too "desirable."

The way things are unfolding for Mike Arroyo, I’m thinking I’d rather be anywhere but first.

* * *

Mike is a dear friend from childhood, in whose home on Santol Street in Sta. Mesa we used to swim during weekends with relatives, the Legardas, Perezes, Araneta. (I’m sure Mike likes me better than his cousin Linggoy Araneta Alcuaz), Matutes and the Tuasons, until our fingers shriveled and our ears turned deaf from the water. The naughtiest was Ignacio, Mike’s younger brother, who would jump into the pool when we were all dressed up, wetting us again. Dr. Filomena Legarda Montinola remembers all of us inside an unfilled pool waiting for the water to rise.

It was fun in Baguio. We were carefree sliding over the slippery leaves of the pine trees in boxes with the Prietos, Roceses, Valdezes, Nietos and more Tuasons and Legardas in the Legarda Compound or the Tuason Compound that had six or seven houses standing on a large piece of property that faced Navy Road on one side and Leonard Wood on the other. Who’d think many years after, Mike would be a lawyer caught up where he is now. I’m sure many salabajoks are saying, "Whatchamahoy (to quote from the PMA dictionary). I’m glad I’m not first."

Poor Mike. Now he’s first but everything he does is "sluggable."

* * *

First (oh, oh bad word) nobody knew how he would be referred to when GMA became President of the Republic.

First Man? First Spouse? First Husband?

Finally, First Gentleman. Yes, that sounded great. But it took a while before we could fully be comfortable with such a title. Why not Mr. Arroyo? Or Attorney Mike? Or just plain Mike?

And so First Gentleman it was. I personally didn’t mind. Because I’ve always known the guy to be one. A gentleman, then and now.

As it is turning out – First for Mike hurts.

Being First Gentleman has more pricks than perks.

If you will go by GMA’s detractors and the opposition, First Gentleman can also mean First Target. And Mike literally is a BIG target with all the white chocolates he eats.

* * *

First Gentleman can also mean first Patsy or First Fall Guy. Because that’s how things seem to be shaping up. If you can’t get the President in your cross hairs, then aim at Mike.

Being first, as in First Gentleman, can also mean First Pakialamero. If you are to believe all the talk going around, it would seem that poor Mike has a hand in most anything that is happening in this administration.

And what about the unkindest cut of all – First Thief. Mike belongs to a family of means. A family of values. Somehow, this just doesn’t wash.

* * *

Take heart, friend. All this is par for the course. Your spouse is President of the Philippines. Her approval ratings are up there.

Buckle up. Gunslingers in town won’t stop taking shots at you.

* * *

I guess Mike will have to wait for some peace later than sooner.

If there is a lesson to all this, it is that FIRST isn’t all that great sometimes. Be that as it may, I’ll take Mike anytime over another unlamented first who lectures about pies in the sky.