What is an icon? Sadly, in this celebrity-mad age, the term is applied to anyone who can connive and contrive her way into the popular media. But an icon is more than a face in the papers. An icon is an inspiration, a standard, or in today’s marketing lingo, a benchmark. An icon has it all–admired by many, envied by many more but above all, a life filled to the brim with adventure, excitement, and yes, glamour and style.
"Icon" comes from the Greek word for image. In the early days of Christianity, particularly in the Byzantine art of the Eastern Church, an icon was any representation of a holy person that attempted to convey the individual’s sanctity or worthiness. Whereas the original icons sought to de-emphasize human qualities (thus the flatness and lack of perspective in most icons), and instead portray serenity and sanctity, this secular age demands that our icons combine worldly achievement and impeccable style. Then again, true style is a reflection of a woman’s spirit and so our present-day icons still live up to the tradition of providing inspiration.
But socialites are a dime a dozen in this town. Why is Tingting Cojuangco different? Why does she continue to enthrall, intrigue, captivate? Perhaps, like the icons of old, we somehow recognize her own brand of magic. Her constant quest for growth, her deft balancing act as wife, mother, writer, student and woman of style.
Aah, her style. She can take ethnic gold jewelry and belts, and make them look contemporary rather than costume-y. She can make a white shirt and khaki pants look elegant, and then she can make a drop-dead couture gown look so easy to wear.
Ultimately, she has gone beyond her privileged background as colegiala and young homemaker to become a truly formidable, utterly modern woman. I have learned from meeting her, and I hope you readers shall learn from her own words, that she is so very much more than a socialite. But she is still, indeed, one of the world’s most beautiful women.
Who are your personal icons?
Hardly anyone at 18 years old in college read Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar in the early ’60s. We were very much into Mother Mary, the Mediatrix of all Graces, the real icon in its true meaning, and solidarity medals in her honor. St. Theresa’s novenas were recited with an appeal to send us the color of roses which would determine who our beaus should be. My friend Chingbee Kalaw shared her copies of Bazaar. Balzac came from her too. Leafing through Harper’s, we’d marvel at the black-and-white photographs of Greta Garbo by Cecil Beaton. It surely was his lights and shadows that made Garbo look mysterious and just as sensuous as Marlene Dietrich on a piano or over a set of luggages. The two women were survivors and handsome European military officers of the ’40s. Two elegant and seemingly cold women but simmering hot on the inside.
Living in Tarlac in the mid ’60s, my sister-in-law Passy had her share of magazines that exhibited Grace Kelly’s elegant photographs in the movie The Swan. Somehow her pictures made me homesick. I thought her smile and cheekbones were like my mother’s. So I’d turn instead to reading Teen Manners for the Young Ingenue or Alexander Dumas (what a contrast) all the while hugging my cherished pillow "Honey" from my single days. Eventually Peping threw it away in the bathroom waste basket because of its unexplained aroma.
The day President Kennedy died, I was still in Tarlac in Casa Grande as everyone called the Luisita main house. I called Lin Ilusorio who was working on her marriage annulment, reconstructing her life in New York sharing news on Jackie Kennedy’s widowhood. Mrs. Kennedy reminded America of its cultural heritage bringing it into the White House, in those days of elegance.
The ’70s came and with martial law, Peping, Liaa, Pin and myself moved to Manila. I witnessed Cory trusting in God’s ways throughout her trials. With the continuous socials and fashion shows Chona Kasten and I became dear friends. She was a generally calm person. Her simplicity was, I believe, what stirred attention towards her direction. She was a perfectionist with her do’s and don’ts. A hardworking lady, she was preaching social graces and doing fashion consultations in her practical outfits...pants and tops with turned-up collars, sandals, structured evening clothes and the tiniest pieces of gold jewelry making them look like very, very expensive purchases. We watched movies of Audrey Hepburn admiring her Givenchy wardrobe. Hepburn had the best face in the whole wide world. She was forever youngish, no bust, high shoulders, small waist and still she didn’t lack in femininity. We watched reruns of Casablanca and saw Ingrid Bergman, that total woman in figure with the perfect diction who bore the secret of her lover Bogart valiantly. All that in between serious studies in Oriental History having re-enrolled at the Assumption Convent. Maita Gomez was then reading Mao’s little red book deciding on whether to remain in her parents’ San Lorenzo house or go underground. She joined the New People’s Army against the rule of a tyrant.
The ’80s came and I chased after every picture of an Avedon shoot of women jumping in the air like China Machado. I suppose, the way Gilbert Perez may have wanted me to do at 16 when he first coached me. In the mid ’80s, enrolling again for a master’s degree, I traveled on research in Zamboanga, Sulu and Tawi-Tawi with Peachie Prieto, who braved the seas and parched land, the trooper that she is – swimming in the seas and peeing anywhere (one had to, no toilets) and sleeping wherever. I remained the girl-woman. Peachie, the bosomy lady with a full behind in her malong. Eventually we both campaigned in Regions 9 and 12, unmindful of the dangers, even carelessly for our country and the principles we upheld with Jun Simon.
The ’90s brought me still to the classrooms of the National Defense College of the Philippines, University of the Philippines and University of Santo Tomas. By then I had for many years put aside the sonnets of Nina Puyat, "The Dream of the Red Chamber" and Mahabharata, which my teacher Cynthia Rivera advised me to read. Fe Mangahas, once a political detainee, and Carol Afan, a librarian who battled but succumbed to cancer, taught me hard library and archival research and edited my writing with Dr. Realidad Rolda hovering caringly. I had run out of fashionable friends by then working for the government. Those I worked with were the barangay women, the core of Filipina womanhood, martyrs propping up home and sweating in the fields. The Tarlac Provincial Capitol department heads were honest and kindhearted women: Pat, Fely, Aurora, Donna, Agnes, Asuncion, Elsie, Dra. Conky, Olive, Norma, encouraged on by unpaid CPA Baby Antonio who uprooted her life from America to the Philippines to help a friend.
Back in Manila at the end of the ’90s I marvel at the beauty of Tina Maristela-Ocampo, a devoted mother like Gloria Macapagal Arroyo who must definitely be admired for balancing home and career. I must not forget the tenacity of Gabriela’s Liza Maza chasing after every woman’s issues to protect the female specie.
Every woman I have mentioned is to me an embodiment of what I admire in women.
Courageous, survivors, committed, daring, perfectionists with dreams like Maria Montelibano, Winnie Monsod and Triccie Sison. These admirable qualities come with their bullheadedness because they are never defeatists! They’re all challenging women like Kate Gordon and Lorna Kapunan, Vicky de los Reyes, Vicki Belo, Minguita Padilla, Ka Mameng Deunides, electrifying, sometimes threatening, definitely legends of their time, and mine.
What do you consider your greatest achievement so far?
I am most proud of my educational attainment: History, Anthropology, Ethnography, Theology, National Security. Education made me question why and how and helped me become an example to my children of continuity and perseverance in the desire to learn and know. Education sharpened my judgment to decipher between right, wrong and compromising. I also pride myself on being a well-meaning and honest administrator for the province of Tarlac. Never the least in achievements, I am a mother to five obedient daughters whom Peping helped in disciplining too.
What makes life worth living?
My life to be worth living needs to be focused. It must have a cause – a struggle to accomplish that goal.
What is the most used item in your wardrobe?
Firstly, khaki pants and white shirts are my trademark. They’re my favorite attire aside from all white or black outfits. Colors are rare in my wardrobe. I accessorize my same old clothes to make them look different every time. The result is a new look for me all the time!
As the daughter of legendary jeweller Fe S. Panlilio and a former model, style is second nature to her. Tricia likes to keep things simple but luxe. She always looks polished, groomed to a sleek sheen, but the effort never shows. She is trendy and timeless all at the same time.
Who are your personal icons?
I hold high regard for few people as my standards for doing so are stringent. I feel that I need to know them for me to actually consider them as role models. One of whom I care to mention would be my mom, the late Fe S. Panlilio, someone I will constantly remember with pride. She taught me so many things regarding values and how to always put things in their right perspective so that what is truly important is realized and savored.
What makes a woman an icon?
Strength of character would be a primary requirement, such that she is able to uphold her beliefs and stand up for them despite all else. It is always easier to go with the tide of sentiments especially in controversial issues. The mere fact that one can decide unpopularly and fight for it makes one truly outstanding. Dignity in anything that one does also makes for a truly respected woman.
What do you consider your greatest achievement so far?
Being the best mother I can be for my children and teaching them what I believe will help them in growing to be caring and responsible individuals. Seeing my two elder boys, most especially, receiving compliments on their personalities and behavior makes me very proud.
What makes life worth living?
I guess for me it would have to be knowing that I have made a long lasting mark somehow in the lives of people that I truly care about. Seeing my children grow up and apply in their lives what they have learned from me, having shared the love Philip and I have in our years together, making and keeping fantastic few and true friends and enjoying life like there is no tomorrow...in anything that I do, I never have regrets. This (philosophy) is so important to me. This is what makes life worthwhile, being true to the investments that you make at certain moments and not ever feeling that time was wasted on them.
What is the most used item in your wardrobe?
My white JP Tod’s loafers. They are abused as can be but remain as comfortable as ever.
Ricco and Tina are now at the helm of an empire that includes countless Anonymous stores, Fish boutique, The Black Shop, i2i stands, the ever-chic Mix and a new restaurant named Kitchen. Tina has now decided to become a full-time mother to Betina, Selina, Juliana and Emilio but she’s bound to have a few more surprises up her dramatically cut sleeve.
Who are your personal icons?
The Duchess of Windsor, Wallis Simpson, was the epitome of self-improvement which perhaps I relate much to for having the same quest for fashion perfection. It was when she lived with the Duke that she explored and developed her exotic taste in clothes, decorative arts, jewelry, flowers and food. Hers was a studied lifestyle: discreet yet living, dressing and entertaining exquisitely.
Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel practically worked her way up from the time of her abandonment. What draws me to this icon is her persistence to make something out of a tragic life. Coco Chanel’s success was due as much to her personality as her skills and hard work. I would love to work like her until the age of 88 when she put her pins and scissors down. She had that energy and passion that up to now lingers in the house of Chanel.
The legendary Diana Vreeland rose to prominence as a fashion editor during the war years. She made women aspire for the unthinkable when millions were struggling through the Great Depression. She introduced an unusual way of dressing for women. She popularized the turtleneck sweater, the color pink and the ballet slippers, discovered Lauren Bacall and designer Halston and declared tons of fashion must-haves that women follow up to this day and age.
This woman’s work habits of perfection greatly influenced me. I share: "It is to exhaust your mind that you achieve the best ideas." These three style icons all exude a certain character and strength.
What makes a woman an icon?
When she gives something uniquely of her own that inspires people. It may be an achievement, a mastered skill, a personal trait, a distinct quality.
What makes life worth living?
It is when you have people worth living for – Ricco, my chosen partner. My children Betina, Selina, Juliana and Emilio who will be the gauge of how successful I am as a person, a mother and a mentor. My mother Conchita, who shall always be a reminder of who I was, who I am and who I will become.
What is the most used item in your wardrobe?
My Hermes Plume bags.
Who are your personal icons?
Cory Aquino, for her moral courage and love of country. What she did, and continues to do, was out of love for her people. Because she did it without any political desires. As a young girl, she had no political desires, but she redefined herself as a widow.
Eli Weisel, who for me, symbolizes the ability to forgive. When you imagine all that his people, his race had to go through, and he says that we must forgive the Germans, I just find that enormously benevolent. It’s just so big of him. We all find forgiving so difficult.
Nelson Mandela. As soon as he was released, the first thing he did was to meet with the white businessman. And at the end of life, he chose such a strong woman to be with. So I thought, he’s not just a hero, he’s a man.
Do I sound like such a fervent feminist? I’m not, but I just admire these people.
Audrey Hepburn, for her integrity, sense of self and sense of style.
Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, for pushing the envelope but still with a clean sense of aesthetics. She was not so concerned with creating an image of the past but of the future.
My grandmother Kate who told me that I must never buy anything cheap because then I would pay for it. She taught me to respect quality, for the beautiful. Because beautiful things, wherever they come from, can be put together. And she also told me to buy from a certain house because they had the best cutters, not to buy something because it’s a status symbol. But because, for example, if a suit is cut really well, then it will fall properly. And I really admire her ability to place things together,with no respect for rules, no need to follow aesthetic precepts.
And Mia Borromeo, she’s always inspired me in terms of her sense of style which is such a reflection of her integrity. She has such a great eye for things, she has such great taste that I am always excited to see what she has.
What makes a woman an icon?
Moral courage and integrity, as can be seen from my choices.
What do you consider your greatest achievement so far?
My family. I am trying to inculcate in them their resposibilities, not just to themselves but to their community. That they have to advocate, that they must have passion, love of country and just to behave in such a way that they can sleep well at night. And I am seeing some signs of it and I hope and pray that they can continue. It’s not like a victory or anything but it makes me happy.
What makes life worth living?
The love of my family and the warmth of my friends.
What is the most used item in your wardrobe?
My Earl jeans.
Who are your personal icons and why?
Wallis Simpson constantly defied tradition. Imagine the future king of England choosing her instead of the role he was born to do. She walked on the wild side by wearing a blue Mainbocher gown on her wedding day. She had impeccable taste in jewelry and clothes.
Coco Chanel also defied tradition. She liberated women’s fashion. Chanel was successful in popularizing pants and making fashionable sportswear for women. She wore excessive jewelry and some even faux which was frowned upon at the time.
Jacqueline Onassis had refined and sophisticated taste – from fashion to decorating and entertaining. Diana Vreeland, her good friend and fashion mentor, wrote in her autobiography, "Put a little style into the White House and into being first lady of the land, and suddenly ‘good taste’ became good taste. Before the Kennedys, good taste was never the point of America...and, since then, we’ve never gone back." Audrey Hepburn for her low-key polished style. Her understatement was considered groundbreaking then since Hollywood style was more sultry like Marilyn Monroe.
Chloe Sevigny and Kate Moss are both uber chic. Both are so modern and have their own fashion style. It is very individual. They do not emulate anyone. Both have the power to create a trend. They have the knack of having the next hot item before anyone else has. Even designers look at the way they mix-and-match their clothes for inspiration.
Stylish Carine Roitfeld, who has been doing Gucci’s ad campaigns, would wear vintage when no one else did. Then, when everybody was into it, she would have elusive designer Azzedine Alaia make outfits especially for her. Cecilia Dean, editor of the hip magazine Visionaire, started in the fashion industry as a model. She is so current and yet does not follow the dictates of fashion. Both are better known in the fashion circle.
Most of these women are revolutionary. These are strong women who are not afraid to be different. All these women rarely look like they try too hard. They are at ease with themselves.
What makes a woman an icon?
These are women who are confident about themselves. They have their own realm of style. It is all about EFFORTLESSNESS – being true to oneself and living it.
What do you consider your greatest achievement so far?
Having a happy and fulfilled family life.
What makes life worth living?
My loved ones.
What is the most used item in your wardrobe?
Next to my underwear, it’s my black canvas suitcase.