My dog Kaloo’s New Year’s resolutions

It’s a dog’s life. Funny how this expression is often used to describe something negative. Hard living. When in fact, it’s just quite the opposite. A dog’s life is pretty easygoing in general. At least mine is. I don’t have much work except the occasional fake barking to scare off the mailmen and delivery guys. In general I have a life of lounging, chasing balls, good food and lotsa cuddles. Did I mention good food?

But just like any dog, a new year brings new revelations. It came about me last week, while I had my belly in the air rolling carefree in the grass, I stopped to ponder a floating cloud that seemed to look like me but only better. In that blink of an existential moment, I realized I could be a better dog. So here are my doggie New Year’s resolutions:

 1. I will stop taking Otto’s toys away and hiding them. I admit when he first came, a little ball of black fluff with adorable beady eyes — I was jealous. So even if our parents bought us matching red Kongs — a big one for me, a mini one for him — I hid mine and took his and buried it along with my other treasures. That darn pup is so cute he didn’t seem to mind.

2. I will let him play with my tennis ball — once in a while. Yes, yes. Trying to be a good big sister here.

3. I will try to make peace with that stupid white cat. I don’t guarantee anything, that idiot keeps me up all night with his wailing, taunts me as he walks past the glass doors with those sinister eyes and evil slither. Ugh. I hate him. Again, I said I will try. No promises.

4. I will learn to heel. Actually I do know how to but I get soo excited when we go out on walks.

5. I will stop stealing pieces of bread from the counter when no one is looking. I’m getting older now and my figure is not as it used to be.

6. I need to improve my cute-I-haven’t-eaten-for-weeks face so I can get the good stuff. Let’s not waste calories on useless items. Bring on the roast chicken.

7. I heard a new baby is coming to the house soon, so I’ve been following my mom around keeping watch. I’ll have to learn how to be the best baby monitor there is. That silly cocker spaniel from Lady and the Tramp didn’t know how to handle that situation. One shouldn’t get jealous. You have to make yourself indispensable and be an integral part of the family — not run off with some scamp no matter how cute he is.

8. I will try to stop thinking about food so much. It gives me insomnia and I keep waking up in the middle of the night thinking it’s morning.

9. I really need to improve my begging face so I can get better treats. Oh, wait! I think I said that already, I’ve really got food on the brains! I guess some things will never change.

10. Learn to change the things I can, accept those I cannot and the wisdom to know the difference. On that note, I can smell something cooking in the kitchen. Happy New Year!

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Share with us your “pet new year’s resolutions” along with a photo of your pet. I’d love to see them.