In high school, we played this paper game called “Flames,” which served as a crystal ball to predict the love meter of your crush or your puppy love.
You write down the name of your crush, cross out all the similar letters that are found in his name with that of the letters in the word “Flames” and count the remaining letters left.
For example, if you are left with five letters, the letter in the word F-l-a-m-e-s is the letter “e” and whatever the “e” symbolizes is your sneak peek at your odds or probability concerning love:
F = friends. Your goose is cooked. Your handsome dreamboat will never be but a friend; absolutely no romance in sight;
L = love. He truly loves you? But will he marry you?
A = attraction. No good, it’s tantamount to a passing fancy, therefore not permanent;
M = marriage. Yes! You will be a “Sadie Lady, married lady” someday;
E = engaged. This is as far as you get, meaning you will either break the engagement or he will;
S= sweetheart. This is just as bad as L, A, and E above. What assurance do you get that you’re the only one he’d call sweetheart?
Flames was as childish as another card game called the Old Maid where you lose if you end up holding the old maid. It worked on the premise that your choices in life were restricted to finding fulfillment in marriage or some other career that was still insignificant compared to marriage. Can you imagine your life being dominated by an old England or vintage mindset where women labeled themselves as failures if they didn’t find husbands? Many in my generation rebelled against this profile and we were the first to break this Old Maid mold but gently and slowly so as not to earn the ire of our tradition-stiff elders.
Is there marriage or a career or both and more in our future? But first, earn a diploma so that the knowledge acquired will help you push closer to the fulfillment of your dreams.
When the road split into a fork, what factors would determine your choice to either go left or right? The sum of your dreams would ignite a passion so strong that would inspire and guide you to stay on course. You focus, you think things through so that you are able to distinguish the tree from the forest and therefore acquire the resolve not to give up.
I remember this gifted lawyer who ate desperate cases for breakfast. He had a client who didn’t have the number to win her case but was pregnant as well. She turned to him for advice even if she knew that her problem had nothing to do with her court case. “Should I abort my three-week fetus?” she asked. Without any hesitation, he replied, “The web you are caught in is not the fault of your baby. Don’t abort him.” He won her case and saved an innocent life with his timely counsel.
Last week, I saw this lawyer friend in church.
“Letty, I suffered a stroke but a miracle happened,” he said. “When they rushed me to the ER, my heart doctor was there ahead of everyone and was therefore quick to save me and give me a new lease on life. What made me so blessed and lucky? That’s when I remembered that once upon a time, I saved an angel.”
“You drew from your basket of goodness,” I remarked.
He was quick to acknowledge that someone higher, more powerful and above any man’s legal adeptness and competence took control of his life.
My friend kept the flames of justice and truth amid the temptation to ignore them “because it’s not of any consequence to me nor my concern.” They kept him grounded and humbled. This inner sense of goodness and love dominated his way of thinking. He was not moved by money or influence. Amazing this inner goodness that gave him the courage and the strength not to lose himself.
The word dominate comes from the Latin word dominus which means leader. Ask yourself therefore the question “What is it that leads you and dominates you?”
Pursue your dreams, reach for the star and conquer the world including the fears and demons that may dampen your enthusiasm from time to time. Whether your passion is in cooking, painting, in singing, writing, dancing, or nurturing, do it, and do it well. If you are driven by pure intentions and love, you can’t lose.
Don’t forget however that in pursuit of your dreams, you will get burned because fire, although good fire, serves as a purifying agent. It can remove the impurities and any dark, self-serving energy. Like pure gold that was extracted from fire, you emerge precious and beautiful.
An uncle raised his brood with a simple catchword, “Give your best and God will do the rest.” It was simple yet held the promise of nights of peaceful slumber and being comfortable in your own skin.
It is power — strong, pure and free. Let it burn.