Baby bliss

The stork news couldn’t have come at a better time. This little charmer for young couple Chris Feist and Katrina Goulbourn-Feist has long been awaited by all and everyone is aching to witness the sprouting of a new limb on the Feist-Goulbourn family tree.

Jeannie Goulbourn was beyond herself with excitement, “I’m going to be a l-o-l-a, at last!” she cried. “Let’s give Trina a baby shower … can anyone tell me what happens in a baby shower?” she asked nervously.

Jeannie who could draw a faultless design on her signature trademark - spun silk combined with piña and jusi and other indigenous fabric — could not imagine what goes into the planning of a baby shower? “I’m in a daze,” Jeannie laughed. Someone had to come to Jeannie’s rescue and that’s how Jeannie’s kid sister Frances Lim got into this “Baby Blast” operation together with two other recruits who immediately jumped on the bandwagon: Lissa Bjorkenstam, Katrina’s godmother, and little me.

The sperm heads from celebrity donors floating gaily on the sunny side up egg

“We never gave baby showers during our generation,” I remarked. “You’re right,” Lissa agreed. I had to seek the help of my daughter, Chessy, who fired the following suggestions to get the ball rolling:

1) Issue pseudonyms that are closely identified with and related to babies — like burp, drool, coo, pee, poo, snore, patty cake, snuggle, cuddles. Once these nametags have been distributed to party guests, do not allow anyone to address each other by their real names except under these aliases for the entire duration of the gathering. If anyone forgets, and trust me, they are guaranteed to slip, fine them automatically. They must deposit a token amount into the Diaper Fund. With so many senior guests who suffer from senior lapses, Trina’s diaper banks will clunk and clink amid boisterous hysterics. (The topmost offender/depositor to the diaper fund turned out to be the L-o-l-a in waiting: Jeannie alias Mother Goose with Susan Joven and Lorraine Belmonte trailing behind.) 

2) Set up the parlor game “pin the sperm on the egg” by drawing sperm heads and giving them names from much sought-after sperm donor/celebrities. Draw an enlarged image of a sunny side up egg. Blindfold each contestant and ask her to pin her chosen sperm nearest to the X marked on the egg. The one who comes closest to the mark wins the game. (Jeannie Krebs and Rita Dy made the mark, purely on beginner’s luck.)

Healthy lunch spread

“But I don’t know how to draw,” I wailed. Chessy drew several sperm heads (and tails) while Frances took care of naming them. We had “sperm donors” from handsome hunks like Daniel Craig, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr., Michael Fassbender, Chris Evans, etc.

3) Make scrapbook pages for each guest to write a message on. Compile them into an album as a keepsake for the mother-to-be. 

Katrina entered a room filled with lilac and pink balloons, streamers and confetti, with tables topped with cotton bibs that served as lunch napkins, alphabet foam blocks that were used as placemats, and rubber duckies, baby rattles, butterflies, heart cut-outs, hair bands, candy-colored scrolls and fruit chews that carried the nursery theme of the occasion. When the guests sat down to a hearty spread of farm fresh fruits with tuna casserole, grilled aubergines, cottage cheese, potato croquettes and seafood paella, someone remarked,

“Ladies, do you realize that Katrina will now have an in-house model for her christening gowns?”

Babies bring joy, love and happiness to every home. It was such a delight to pass the bliss while everyone waits for the arrival of Katrina’s petit cherie.

Trina Goulbourn-Feist at seven months