The hungry years

The hungry years are the rough-and-tumble period in one’s life when you literally have little on your plate or none at all. You are in a constant struggle to make both ends meet and you try your darnedest to keep going and not throw in the towel. 

But wait: there’s one main component that is needed to make this situation real. We need a couple who will meet head-on during these trials, will sacrifice, will push body and spirit to make that uphill climb with gritted teeth and hands formed in a fist signifying the tenacity to push ahead. 

You will see this in newlyweds especially. They look at each other full of hope and determination to make a success of their union. So long as they’re together, they can face anything, right? That’s the spirit.

Elena married the love of her life, Bobby, and together they vowed to fulfill their dreams and seek a better future. Having each other was already a good start. “I will keep two jobs,” Bobby volunteered. “I will keep house and start a business from home,” Elena countered. When the babies came, they did not consider them a setback but doubled their resolve to forge ahead.

Since the desires of the heart were so different from stark reality, they made it a habit to examine each expenditure. Whenever one was inclined to dig into their savings, the other would utter a grim reminder, “Is it a need or a want?” This kept the family budget lean and disciplined them to stay within their capacity to earn. They focused on the essentials and didn’t borrow money or owed anyone, not even their parents. “Wow, gutom!” Bobby and Elena exclaimed with a laugh. “Nothing is insurmountable when we face it together, right?” and she gave him a tight squeeze.

One day, the latest telecommunication device that was a big hit of their generation was delivered to their doorstep: a 12-inch color television. Elena was thrilled. She rang Bobby: “Honey, we have a color TV finally! It’s beautiful.” Bobby frowned and asked, “How much?” “It costs P600, heavily discounted already,” replied Elena. Bobby said, “Honey, we can’t afford it. Return it.” “But my friend will think that we’re so poor that we can’t even shell out P600,” she argued. “What do you want, honey, that we own a color TV but fail to pay our rent?” retorted Bobby. Elena remained quiet. She knew that Bobby was right. Reluctantly, she called up her friend: “Sorry, but my husband already made a down payment on a color TV that will be delivered shortly.” It was a lie.

More tightening of the belt followed, but it didn’t discourage the couple because they knew that these sacrifices were done for the collective benefit of their family.

Steadily, things got rosier. They could now afford some luxury including month-long holidays abroad with the children. Life turned fine and dandy. Elena stopped working and had time to spend at leisure while Bobby continued to merit promotions until his latest appointment: regional manager cum chief comptroller of a multinational company.

 Not weighed down by limited funds anymore, Bobby succumbed to the lure of self-indulging pursuits. That was his downfall. He carried on backstreet affairs with women whose common objective was to swindle him and leave him dry. Elena was crushed. In disgust, she berated herself. “How does that old song go? ‘I planted the seeds yet someone else reaped and harvested the fruits’?” What happened to all the sacrifices she made to keep her marriage intact? “It wasn’t worth the price I had to pay,” she uttered. Elena filed for legal separation and took her children to the US. She now lives with her second husband who has healed her pain. 

As for Bobby, he was too proud to admit his mistakes. His riches did not buy him happiness. Each woman he was involved with was plagued with that menacing sense of karma: If he cheated with her, he can cheat again on her. Bobby ended up alone and lonely so he turned to alcohol; there was nothing to boast of the hungry years. Would he not have wanted to bring back yesterday?

The hungry years are meant to be a phase in one’s life. They should only serve as a reminder of storms that might have brought havoc yet made you strong enough to acquire the right perspective and to appreciate what you’ve got. Remember the person who held your hand, shared the load, and stayed with you through all kinds of weather? This person proved to be the genuine one, your strength, your treasure and your good luck charm. She loved you even after the hungry years had long become a memory.

For now, the music will continue to play for Bobby. In despair.   

How does the song go again?

Girl, we made it to the top

We went so high we couldn’t stop

We climbed the ladder leading us nowhere

Two of us together

building castles in the air.

We spun so fast we couldn’t tell

the gold ring from the carousel

How could we know the ride

would turn out bad?

Everything we wanted,

was everything we had.

I miss the hungry years,

the once upon a time,

the lovely long ago,

We didn’t have a dime

those days of me and you,

we lost along the way.

How could I be so blind,

not to see the door

closing on the world

I now hunger for.

Looking through my tears,

I miss the hungry years.

We shared our daydreams one by one

making plans was so much fun.

We set our goals and reached the highest star.

Things that we were after

were much better from afar.

Here we stand just me and you

with everything and nothing, too.

It wasn’t worth the price we had to pay.

Honey, take me home

let’s go back to yesterday.

(The Hungry Years, music and lyrics by Neil Sedaka, performed by Frank Sinatra)