Here’s a conversation thread between my kumare (baptismal sponsors) and me, done via texting:
Letty: Mare!!! Shocking that plane crash involving a student and his instructor. Isn’t that the same aviation school that my inaanak (godson) is enrolled in?
BFF: Yup! He was a new student, only on his 4th flight. Foreign instructor. First crash of the school since opening 17 years ago.
Letty: Maybe the plane was old?
BFF: Brand-new light plane.
Letty: Then it must be pilot error.
BFF: Investigation not yet complete. It looks like pilot error. He gave the final instruction to the student but they were flying too low, di naka buelo, could not increase altitude and fly back up; did not radio, no distress call either.
Letty: Bah! That pilot should be banned from teaching!
BFF: Patay na nga eh. (He’s dead already.)
Why do misunderstandings occur? Here’s a dialogue exchange between a darling, married-for-life couple:
Husband: You must learn to use your iPod/iTouch, especially if you’re going on a trip.
Wife: Okay, okay. What should I know apart from downloading music?
Husband: You can access your e-mail, talk on Skype, watch a movie and use other video features. You merely make sure you have a wireless (Wi-Fi) connection and your Bluetooth is open.
Wife: (getting irritated): Sige na nga. (Oh, all right.)
Husband: First I need your password.
Wife: Password…? (Pause)
Husband: Do you remember it?
Wife: I know, I know… (Pause…) There, it’s done. Will I click on Facebook?
Husband: Not Facebook. It’s called Face Off.
Wife: Wasn’t that a movie? John Travolta vs. Nicolas Cage?
Husband: Whatever. Facebook, Face Off, why not call your son to verify?
Son: Hi, Mom, what’s up? Uh-huh… Uh-huh… Oh! You mean Face Time.
Wife: I knew that.
My friend Michotte dela Costa who lives in Toronto e-mailed me a link to this hilarious stand-up comedian by the name of Dan Nainan. I laughed at how well he could imitate the accent of an Indian. A part of his comedy routine went like this:
“I was born in America. My dad comes from India and my mother comes from Japan. One day, I was in the car with my parents and my dad pointed at some cows grazing in the field. He said, ‘Now, there is a word that can take different meanings: graze. For example, a cow can graze.’ And I replied, ‘Or you can be grazed by a bullet.’ And my mom said, ‘Or, it’s a kind of a donut.’”
(Note: If you didn’t get the joke — like Dan’s audience — just recall the particular speech habit of the Japanese who interchange the letters “r” and “l” much as we Filipinos love to interchange “f” and “p”.)
Another friend, Becky Agoncillo, has retired from work and was visiting Manila. She told me that she often gets frustrated when people ask her, “So, what do you do now that you’re homebound?”
Must we really account for every minute of our day by keeping yourself on our toes? So she rebutted, “That’s precisely why I retired.”
At my first job at the Manila Hilton, there was a classic tale of the front desk clerk: a guest approached the front desk and asked, “Are you holding a room for me? Name ‘John Phiffer,’ pronounced as in ‘fiefdom’?”
The clerk smiled and went to the reservations rack to check the name. “Phi, phi, phi…” she whispered as she looked up and down the rack. Not finding the name, she scanned the rack again. “Phi, phi, phi…”
Unable to locate the name, the clerk turned to the guest and asked, “Sir, is that under ‘f’ or ‘phi’?”
“When laughter is shared,” said my doctor, “it binds people together and increases happiness, strengthens the immune system, boosts our energy, diminishes pain and protects us from the damaging effects of stress.”
It is also fun, easy and free.
Hurray for LOL.