And when October goes

Turn the calendar to the month of October and what catches your eye?  Rainy mornings, children laughing while trying on their Halloween costumes, candles and flowers for the annual trek to memorial chapels and parks, and the countdown to Christmas with Sunday bazaars and early holiday decor. None of them, however, suggests sadness, except maybe the thought of our departed loved ones, but even that isn’t enough to give you a grip on a long-forgotten pain and loss.

Then comes the great American lyricist Johnny Mercer, who wrote the lyrics to poignant loves songs like Moon River, The Shadow of your Smile, Laura, Fools Rush In, P. S. I Love You, Skylark, Days of Wine and Roses, I Remember You, and many more.

One particular Mercer song hits me hard and it’s called And When October Goes.  It can set you in a mood, a crying mood.  It speaks of lost youth and of days spent with the greatest love of your life (who got away or who had left).  The bittersweet memory comes back when the leaves fall off, stripping the tree bare.  It echoes the emptiness one feels despite the wondrous colors that Mother Nature unravels to perhaps make up for your sorrow and, hopefully, dry your tears.  When the leaves turn red, orange, brown, copper, burgundy, and yellow, you wonder how dry and brittle leaves can make you feel sad and lonely yet give you the comfort and strength to move on.

But let’s stop this weepy sobs because for one thing, we don’t have autumn in Manila, although there was a time that I had a semblance of it — when I used to pass through McKinley Road or in New Manila under a canopy of bright and vibrant fire trees or caballeros.  What happened to those glorious trees?

October is the month when I celebrate my father’s birthday.  If he was alive, he would have lived beyond his 100 years and yet be just as dashing, handsome, and “still adorable” as the last time I caught a glimpse of him.

October boy Paul Potassy celebrating his 87th year with Pilar and Albert Dy, Claus Sudhoff, Lulu and Tom Manlongat, Juergen and Vilma Vongrabowski, and the author Letty Jacinto-Lopez

This October and only for this year 2010, we boast five Fridays, five Saturdays, and five Sundays, all in one month. It happens once in 823 years and is considered the moneybags month.  But based on Chinese feng shui, we need to pass on this mathematical equation to eight persons lest we be left with an empty bag.

This month, a precious aunt, Tita Chaning Soriano-Arce, celebrated her 88th birthday on Oct. 10, 2010 (10-10-10), a windfall of tens, so we packed it full with warm wishes together with warm embraces.  Looking at her features and comparing them to ours, I wonder why she never seemed to add on any years and here we are slapping our faces with anti-wrinkle boosters and anti-dehydrating creams with nothing to show for it.

Another friend, Paul Potassy, added the numbers two and three to his precious October.  He said he was born on Oct. 23 and when he married his wife Lita, it was also on the 23rd of October.  Now that he passed his 87th summer, he still raises a toast to his wife, saying, “When my mother saw my wife, she smiled and whispered to me, ‘Son, I can now die in peace; you have chosen well and I know she will love you endlessly.’”  And she was right.  They just celebrated their 42nd wedding anniversary.

This October, I resolved to bring luscious green plants to the tombs of my loved ones because there would be fewer chances of them being pirated or snitched by unrepentant fools.

More than the greens, I will offer Masses and rosaries for all the souls in purgatory because they depend on us to pray for them.  I have this “litany of names” of all my loved ones who have passed away (the list keeps growing).  Every day, I say a prayer for them, because who knows?  Maybe, this one little prayer would be the final nudge that will push them up to heaven and finally enable them to see and live in paradise. It is my silent tribute to them.  When my time comes, I know this “litany” of mine will join a phalanx of angels who will help push open the gates of heaven for me.

And with a happy note, I share with you this trifle sent to me by another friend, Cynthia Conine, to prove how wise all mothers are (and mothers-in-law, too?) — in flaming color:   

Mother knows

A young man excitedly tells his mother, “Mom, I’ve fallen in love on this glorious autumn day; I’m going to get married.”  He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”  The mother agrees.  The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.  He then says, “Okay, Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.” She immediately replies, “The one on the right.” ”That’s amazing, Ma.  You’re right.  How did you know?”  The mother replies, “I don’t like her.”

 The wife of Johnny Mercer found the lyrics to this song And When October Goes after her husband passed away.  The words were finished but with no melody so she asked Barry Manilow to write a melody.  It has since been a favorite of many recording artists — from Lea Salonga to Nancy Wilson, among others.

My personal favorite is the version of Rosemary Clooney who sang it, baring her soul and the wisdom of a woman who had survived the long and arduous years. Go to YouTube to watch Barry, Rosemary, Lea, etc. sing it.

And when October goes, the snow begins to fly

Above the smokey roofs, I watch the planes go by

The children running home, beneath a twilight sky

Oh, for the fun of them, when I was one of them_

And when October goes, the same old dream appears

And you are in my arms, to share the happy years

I turn my head away, to hide the helpless tears

Oh how I hate to see October go

I should be over it now I know, it doesn’t matter much how old I grow

I hate to see October go.