Then the world crashes

Lately, life has been wonderfully kind. It felt like the sky opened and showered me with copper, silver, even gold, clouds of blessings blowing around me and carrying me this way and that. In a week, I was interviewed twice and I believe I passed both interviews. 

I agreed to do some plans — two plans, in fact — but did not commit to a deadline. So far, so good. Those are the copper clouds. I have been thinking about them and at the same time drawing blanks. Be kind, please, send me some lightning with your breezes, I sometimes pray. I want two brilliant plans.

I have met a lovely woman who wants me to do something for her. It has a deadline. I should finish it by May. That looks do-able or I would not have said yes. She is one of the kindest women I know and she invited me to spend two days doing nothing at her comfortable, elegant beach house. Always eager for a change of pace, I went and had the most wonderful time doing nothing in particular.

We woke up early. We picked camias, very delicious sour fruit from a tree that used to be typical in all Filipino gardens. In the olden days most home gardens had one camias tree, a calamansi tree, langka, santol, chico, atis, and kaimito trees. Also a bush of atsuete to use as coloring. I thought of all these trees of my childhood, all represented in her garden where we would walk in the morning after she had done her exercise of walking briskly up and down 10 times. She would laugh at her dog who always gave up on the sixth round. He would simply sit in the middle of her way and bark in that charming way of his that convinced me he wasn’t barking but conversing. Unfortunately, we did not speak his language.

Then mid-morning we swam a little in her swimming pool. The sea is treacherous here, she warned, we are better off in the pool. Then a lovely lunch of grilled vegetables and meat, after which we went off for a siesta. In the afternoon, we strolled again, ending at the other side of the house to watch the sunset before sitting to a fabulous dinner cooked by her son-in-law and sent over for our enjoyment. I had a wonderful time doing exactly nothing.

When I arrived in Manila, the things I had left undone began to summon me. I had meetings, offers for more writing jobs. Knowing my history I could not not say yes. So I said yes again, adding a few more to my list. 

On Sunday, I did not go to the market but went to Lily Pad instead, where my partner Tina Tan had guests. She outdid herself cooking and the meal was long and delicious, a lovely degustacion with her friends. So on Monday I was really tired but I began to fix my desk to make room for all the jobs that I would have to do in the coming days.

Monday is my day off and I was tired enough to take it. I had a massage, then tidied up my room, getting ready to write again, but something went wrong with my stomach suddenly. It must have been everything I had been eating and drinking. There went the rest of the day.

Tuesday, I was invited to a talk given by a Canadian. It began later and ended later than expected, which sent me into a giddy rush. I have no maids. My mind was full of things I had to do to prepare for my class. Have copies of materials done. Wipe table clean. My building’s elevators are being replaced and we live in a heavy mist of white dust, so mop floor clean. Got home at 12:30 p.m. and my classes were to begin at 2 p.m. Knocked on the second floor office where I usually have my copies made, no answer. They moved out, the guard told me. You can have it done across the street. No, I decided to just print it.

I rushed upstairs, put my food on to heat while I tried to print but I was out of bond paper. Why did I not buy bond paper? Never mind, I recycled some of my old papers. By this time, I was so harassed because my printer was misbehaving. Somehow I managed to eat without feeling full and managed to clean the table, too. Then the doorbell rang. My first student had arrived. I’m early, she said, but I let her in. I mopped the floor while she sat prettily, asleep on one of my armchairs.

We did the class pretty well, I must say, but at the end of it, I was just so exhausted. Never mind. So today my world sort of just splattered but I still can handle it. Tomorrow is another day. I have no schedules tomorrow. Tomorrow I can write some more. Send me some flashes of brilliance, will you? Send me again your clouds of copper, silver and gold.

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