Getting back by giving back

Last Easter, I wanted to start my own blog. Not for anything else, except that I was overflowing with newfound inspiration. Life has a way of unfolding if you allow it to, but sometimes it takes a little bit of slowing down for you to sit back and appreciate the view in front of you.

I had made bookings at other summer destinations but opted to spend the break to bond with Mom in Tagaytay — something I haven’t done in a long time. I also brought in all my books and AIM case studies so I could get a head start on my classes — something I also haven’t done in a long time.

Armed with a voracious appetite for reading, I left the house (even in Tagaytay I could not stay put) and went to take in the Taal breeze at The Boutique Hotel. A breathtaking sunset and a few chapters later, I got a text message invite to attend an anticipated Easter Sunday Mass. After having spent countless Easter bunny sunrises in Boracay, an Easter Sunday Eucharistic celebration is something I really haven’t done in a long time.

It was an intimate affair. We were just about close to a dozen people in the celebration. The priest, whom I met the night before over dinner, was very young and jovial. The smell of frankincense permeated the room, it made me recall those good ‘ol days when I was an altar boy in a good ‘ol Catholic school (yes, believe it or not). The priest would tell us how Easter was celebrated during the ancient times, when people would wait for the dawn as they told each other their own Easter stories, whereas my past Easters were celebrated with techno beats, fists raised up in the air.

Easter Sensory Experience

Because there were only three of us in the room who were the “kids,” we were made to be the readers for the Mass. So there I was, holding the Euchalette (back in my day, it was called a misalette) and reading the Word of the Lord, feeling weird as I read it because it was hitting home — it was like Someone Up There was really talking to me, sending me a message. “For you are not pleased with sacrifices; should I offer a holocaust, you would not accept it. My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit; a heart contrite and humbled, O God you will not spurn.”

The whole Easter vigil was a sensory experience. Somehow our hostess made sure that she had everything down pat — “kinareer” from candles, to the solemn choir soundtrack, up to edgy AVP images of Jesus! (yes, edgy, as in black and white doodled images, and not the “3 o’clock prayer pictures” that are usually used to depict Christ Jesus). I sat there alone in my corner till the Mass ended and we broke bread with the elders. I felt inspired in a way — I remembered someone telling me that inspired is just another way of saying “in spirit.” Somehow I felt I needed to wake up my sleepy soul.

The next day, at sunrise I woke up my mom and from Tagaytay, we sped down to the cemetery in Sucat to visit my dad. This has been my secret sanctuary. A lot of times when life becomes trying, I turn to my dad and instantly feel his hand guiding me in the right direction. A lot of the blessings I wished for in life were given by him. I guess somehow what he wasn’t able to give us when he was still alive, he is giving us now — making up for lost time. Up to this day, close to five years after his passing, I feel his presence more than ever. “Within us is the serenity that can create all the happiness, peace and prosperity that we could ever want. Live life with love, love life as we live. May forgiveness and rebirth be with you this Easter,” I sent this message to my loved ones last Sunday.

Serendipitously, it still did not prepare me for the next two days. I thought that was it. I found my peace, and it felt good. Maybe not as seemingly “exciting,” but it felt really good.

A different Happy Mondays

Monday night I found myself at the Virlanie Foundation house, a shelter for abused and underprivileged youth where I met up with my sunshine KC Concepcion, who is celebrating her birthday very soon. There, together with Hazel Soriaga, another generous soaring soul (who I’ve been working with since my early days with Super!), we turned over our humble earnings to our beneficiaries from our annual charity event, Artist’s Fair Pilipinas, now going on its fourth year, supported by this paper. Dominique Lemay, the head of the Virlanie Foundation and representatives from Hands On Manila, a group that aims to instill volunteerism among the youth, were present during the turnover rites.

But more than the actual giant check turnover ceremony, what was most inspiring was the knowledge that what we were doing had an impact on other people’s lives. I couldn’t explain the feeling — it felt better than good. It was like an overdose on Yakult, only better. I would watch as the kids sang and danced and even brought out an advanced birthday cake for their favorite Ate KC. We were bonding with them on the early part of Monday night, hopping from house to house (they would all ask for my Friendster account, of which I have none — hmmm, maybe it’s not too late to start) and KC would tell me about the kids whose lives we were somehow affecting in whatever small, positive way, and I was melting inside. I saw for myself that we really have so much to live for. Living on my own for quite a few years now, I realize that I may have been a tad too selfish. It is now time to give back. It took a friend like KC and the kids at the Virlanie house, to make me see this reality — not by preaching, but just by living, by example.

Tuesday and I was on the front row of another event. Nope, this was no red carpet or fashion-flared event. It was my nephew’s grade school graduation, where I joined my sister as she played proud mom to a son who swept six medals and the school’s highest award for embodying Luceat Lux — which literally means let your light shine on others. During his valedictory speech, I was trying my best to hold back my tears (I’ve never cried in public — ssshhh) but I was just so proud of him and the kind of young adult he has grown up to be. I saw my sister hold back her tears, too. I was so proud to witness how my sisters had became the selfless parents that they are — it made me rediscover the importance of family. What we could not become because of our situation before, my sisters were making their kids the best people they could be. In the end, that is what we’re here for — to make us, and other people the BEST we ALL can be.

Empowering the next — that has always been my mission and vision, albeit in disguise. Now I am shedding all the costumes and the layers — this is the real me, take it or leave it.

Wait a minute — this is sounding too much like a blog.