God’s buddy or Bible study?

I was dressed and ready to go so early. Come meet us at 7:15, my friend Santi had e-mailed. Breakfast first, then Bible study until nine, then we can talk. I remember Santi and his wife well. They are good friends and so I decided to go. I am awake anyway at least an hour before that time but I have my own rituals, my own conversations with my God, our watching the Today show together, then getting on with the rest of our day. But that can be broken to connect with old friends again.

The lady gave me a Bible with brochures in it. Now I live in a small place and had just tried to sell my book collection so I would fit better in it. What do I need a new Bible for? I have one. I said, "No thank you. Please understand, I don’t have space for a new Bible. I have one already." She said it was okay. That was before I entered the room and found out it was Elim. Not that I know much about Elim but I know they are seriously religious, to the right, almost as extreme as the Opus Dei, I think. Anyway, they are to the right. I saw more friends. Hey, I did not know this was the group where you belonged, I said.

We had breakfast talking socially, a very pleasant chat with two of my oldest friends. Then they began their Bible reading. I could not get out as I expected to, and had to stay. Eo gave me the Bible they tried to give me at the door. I used it to follow this morning’s lecture. All the time I’m asking my God why He brought me here and He was smiling and saying, stay. You’ll find out. So I stayed. At the end of the service the leader and his wife, who looked familiar, invited me to sit with them. We talked a while. The wife told me she was my mother’s student at St. Theresa’s. Oh, my mother has Alzheimer’s disease now. We had a pleasant chat. I took the Bible, it seemed the best thing to do, but it has stayed in my car since.

Same day, I met my high school classmates for lunch. Somehow the talk drifted towards religion again. Bing spoke of the Bible being alive and definitive. She had her own vivid descriptions of what it contained. I remembered she was Born Again. I think it was Loreta who had her own comments, different but equally valid. They made me think that there are many kinds of people in the world who seek a relationship with God and everyone finds his or her own way.

Mine is a profoundly personal relationship that is not Bible-based. I believe and trust God implicitly. We live together. He is the first person I talk to in the morning and the last person at night. All during the day I talk to him – as I brew my coffee, as I watch TV, as I knit, as I pet my neighbor’s dog. We have an intimate relationship and let me tell you I get annoyed when I receive all those Jesus messages people send by text because why do you have to say that? I know all that already and profoundly, so please don’t send me those sayings. Send it to others who need to hear them. But when you get dragged into all types of religions in one day you stop to think and ask yourself: why?

It came to me on my Saturday writing class when one of my students, Marida Paez, submitted this poem:

What Prayer Is By Marida Paez

What prayer is ...
It is a whispered word from your heart
gone out from hiding in your depths –
making known deepest thoughts and feelings
dreams built and torn apart.

What prayer is…
It is you and God in conversation
talking and listening to each other
building trust, and assurance
‘til ever after.

What prayer is …
It is a gaze, a loving look
that conveys a thousand unspoken words;
a dance in stillness
a song in silence
that lulls your soul to rest.

What prayer is…
It is the breath of life
you cannot do without –
as dew is to morning
as sunset is to dusk.

What prayer is…
It is all that’s said and done
and sometimes called a name
Love, they say is how it sounds.
This is prayer, most profound.

This is what prayer is.

* * *

Please send your comments to lilypad@skyinet.net or secondwind.barbara@gmail.com or text 0917-8155570.