I met Madie when her son was three years old. He struck me as a precocious boy, and when he started to go to school, I was not at all surprised when he was put in the section of gifted children. Now, some 18 years later, Madie’s problem is something else. She has the strangest feeling that her son has the makings of a pedophile. He is always in the company of young boys, 12 to 16 years of age, and one time, she caught him with one of them coming out of his room. The boy looked like he was in tears and Madie’s son covered up by saying that he was teaching him to use the computer but they had to stop because the kid had a stomach ache.
There were other incidents of the same nature that led her to suspect that her son is a child molester but she kept it to herself and was afraid to open up to her husband for fear of getting blamed. Her husband has no inkling whatsoever about their son’s behavior because he is at work the whole day and comes home late. The boy is on his best behavior with his father and is still at the top of his class in his last year in school.
Her son had a vivid interest in the case of Michael Jackson and was so jubilant beyond words when Michael was acquitted. He would get so mad at Madie when she would voice out that she suspected Michael of being guilty. Madie wondered about her son’s defense of Michael Jackson, whom he does not even admire as a singer. He said it was not wrong of Michael to be fond of children and there was nothing wrong in asking them to share his bed. She also noticed that her son likes to go to the park and watch young boys play basketball. Why should watching teenagers play interest an intelligent man of 21? she wondered. She asked him once and he answered that he wanted to join their team. But he never made an effort to join their practice games and he’s never been fond of sports. There are so many questions in her tortured mind and she confessed to me that she doesn’t actually want to face the truth.
According to Dr. Judy Korlansky – a New York-based clinical psychologist, marital counselor and a teacher at Columbia University – a person who has intense and recurring sexual urges, fantasies or behavior involving sex with a child is a pedophile. In the psychiatric manual, a pedophile is at least 16 years old, and at least five years older than the child. They could be married with children and live a seemingly normal life.
Most are men but some women have been arrested for sexually molesting young boys. Like the case of the teacher who was 25 and was jailed for molesting a student 12 years of age.
The act does not always progress to intercourse but usually involves nudity, genital exposure and fondling. In some rare cases, the abuser is violent, leading to injury or death of the victim. In at least half of the cases, the molester is a friend, an acquaintance or a relative. He chooses a job, hobby or volunteer work that involves contact with children. One offender posed as a clown for children’s parties while another led a boy’s club. Pedophiles also often view child pornography on the Internet.
Pedophiles often entice children with toys, gifts and favors. If those fail, they threaten them or use force. The youngsters are intimidated not to tell anyone for fear of harm coming to loved ones. Some molesters are motivated by a need to exert power over helpless children. But biological factors can include brain impairment, neurological damage or hormonal changes during puberty that cause aggressiveness. Some are sadists or were themselves abused during their childhood and are repeating the pattern by doing to others what was done to them.
Another type has arrested emotional and psychosexual development; they cannot form mature intimate relationships and feel like a contemporary of the child. Pedophiles rarely seek professional help since they get pleasure from their behavior and blame society for their behavior. Treatments for them have not always been successful. Surgical castration is rare and anti-androgen drugs have been used to reduce the level of the male hormone testosterone in the hopes of reducing sexual and aggressive behavior.
Some anti-depressants are prescribed by doctors to decrease sex drive and help control obsessive-compulsive acts or thoughts regarding sex with children. Cognitive-behavioral therapy corrects false beliefs that children enjoy, want or benefit from the act. It also teaches molesters social skills and to take responsibility for their actions. More controversial de-conditioning techniques give offenders shocks when viewing pictures of children or train them to associate unpleasant consequences with their unacceptable acts.
Programs commonly used for drug abuse and alcohol addiction are also used for pedophiles. There are support groups for these people so they can resist temptation.
I am afraid to discuss with Madie my research on pedophilia. Her son could be guilty of some of them but I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt. For Madie’s sake, I would like to compare him to Michael Jackson – the jury acquitted Michael, even if a lot of psychologists have cast their judgment that he is guilty. Madie’s son, like Michael, could be just someone who wants to be with children as they are more wholesome than adults. I consulted a child psychologist who advised me to tell Madie to seek the truth about her son. The sooner she confronts the issue, the faster she can get professional help for him.
It is difficult for a parent to want to find out the awful truth about his child. Most parents prefer to be in denial. This could be the most difficult situation Madie has to face in her life, but she can save a lot of innocent children from another child molester.